Is that bird mocking me??? I'll clip its pecker!

Hope you enjoyed your Cinco, I know I did (Do you see that Crazy Ez? THAT IS A CORONA!)

.
So…

I’m trying something new where I’m always on time for work. I know what you're thinking "What? Shouldn't you be at work on time?" For which I answer "You live your life your way, THE UNFUN WAY and I'll live my life my way, THE COOL GIRLS ARE NEVER ON TIME way'

So far, out of the 4 days I’ve attempted this drastic change to my natural habit of always being late, I’m 0 for 4.

I get up reasonably early at 6:40. I start at 8 and it takes me 5 minutes to get to work. How can this be such an impossibility for me?? I should be able to shower, change, lacquer my face, style my hair, take the dogs out, grab my lunch, bring the dogs inside and leave! I know there are working moms out there that have to do way more than that and manage to be at work on time! What is my malfunction??

I really want to know!

Don’t tell me to wake up at an ungodly hour like 6:15 or something foolish because I’ve tried that! The earlier I’ve gotten up the more things I think I can do before I leave for work.

This morning alone is a perfect example. When I finished doing all that goes along in perfecting my look, I looked at the time and it was 7:50- perfect! I ran out of the bathroom, took the dogs out, grabbed my lunch stuff, went to get the dogs but Mocha was too busy chasing a friggin bird! I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to chase an unruly dog around in heels trying not to scuff ‘em but it’s:
a) not a pretty sight
b) nearly impossible to catch the wiley little bitch when she thinks you’re playing c) sad that you’re cool shoes are now wet from the dew (I hope it was dew and not dog piss !!! )

I don’t know about you but I’m not used to birds teasing my pets. For a minute there, I thought I might be in a cartoon where the bird is the hero and we (the damn nutty dog and I) are the screw up chumps!

NEEDLESS TO SAY!! I punched in at 8:12. Not too bad I guess since my worst time is 8:47 but my best time in those 4 days was 8:06. I'll try again tomorrow…

When I got to work and was discussing with Glynda some of the business from the Friday meeting (she seems to be over my little power coupe) she mentioned she’d been watching Zorro and realized I look like Catherine Zeta Jones.

First my face went like this (picture it mouth open and shocked)

Next my face went like this (picture it blushing, we have established I blush at the drop of a penny)

Then my face went like this (picture it skeptical, raised eyebrows looking exceptionally quizzically)

Lastly my face went like this (picture it nodding in understanding)

I think she needs glasses. It’s about that time for her when her eyesight goes all wonky. The reason I know this is because if I did have a double, it would be Drew Barrymore since that's what the Internet gods told me but you be the judge.

EXCEPT DAN! He has always said I look like Lars Ulrich when his hair was long. I remember the first time he said that to me. We were sitting in the food court at Lincolnwood Mall and he had just bought their new CD. You see how much it traumatized me?? I remember every detail! I cried into my pillow that night. I cried because of the meanness that surrounds my noble soul when all it desires is goodwill to all mankind!!

Anyway, here you go:





P.S.

I'm always on time for fun stuff. Movies, free food, free booze. FIRST ONE THERE!


P.P.S.
I personally don't think I look like any of them and am my own unique person. Okay, maybe I do look like Lars. (picture my face sad and crying... again) I'll stop if you click on Humor-Blogs for me!