Monday, May 12, 2008

It ain't easy being cheesy!

On Saturday Andy and I went to my in-laws campground to hang out with them for a little bit and celebrate Mother's Day.
While we were chillin', talking about camper stuff, The Cheeto Story came up in the conversation.

Both Andy and I disagree as to who is at fault so I told my beloved hubba-bubba I would post the story and let you, MY friends decide.

Pull up a chair, sofa or toilet and let me take you back to November 1998, 3 days before Thanksgiving. (I was thin back then)
We had only been dating for about 5 months and I was going to meet him at his house after work where he was going to make me a sandwich and then we were going to play pool in his parent's basement.

I arrived at his house and he lightly toasted the bread for my sandwich, put some ham and Munster cheese on it with extra mustard. MMMM.

Young thin Bee:
Are you gonna have one?

No, I'm not hungry. I'll just have a bag of chips.
[opens the cabinet, looks in the variety box of chips and swears]
What the hell! All that's left is Cheetos!! I HATE CHEETOS!

Why? They're good, nice and cheesy. It ain't easy being cheesy you know!

This really pisses me off! Nobody likes the damn Cheetos so they're always left over!

Bee: [not surprised at this outburst since he and I had been friends before we started dating]
You should tell your mom not to buy that variety pack.

Whatever. [he opens a bag and starts eating the Cheetos]

Can I have one?

Andy flicks the bag over to me, I take ONE and give the bag back.
I then finish my sandwich and we go downstairs to play pool.
I suck at pool but I was doing okay knocking all the stripey balls all over the place and then shoving them in the hole with my hands when he wasn't looking.
I noticed Andy was extremely quiet.

Wzup? You okay?

Andy: [curtly]

Oooooookkaaay?? I kept trying to make small talk but nothing was working. I even tried a comic book question and was rejected! I'm standing there racking my brain, replaying everything that had happened...
Then, my 6 brain cells came to one conclusion. No, it couldn't be!

Did you get mad because I asked for a Cheeto?

You know Bee, that was all I was going to eat! You had a sandwich and I was just having a crappy bag of Cheetos!

I asked for ONE! I didn't know you were going to be so pissy about it!

Even my friends know not to ask me for any of my food!

Andy! I'm not your friend, I'm your girlfriend!

At this point I was wondering where my life had taking a turn into Tantrumville.


Bee: [calmly putting pool stick on the pool table]
You know what dude? Call me when you grow up!

I exited stage left!

That's not me but when I saw this picture...

Here is what our disagreement is YEARS later.

I say he was overreacting over ONE FUCKIN' CHEETO and he says I was being unreasonable for asking him for a Cheeto when that was all he was going to eat.


Don't worry you guys, everything worked out in the end. Andy's dad told him to put his head on straight and my mom told me she'd buy him a big bag of Cheetos.

For the record, I love Cheetos and not just because of Chester Cheetah... although he is pretty cool.

I've never understood the not sharing food thing. Probably because I always wind up sharing whatever I order since I never finish it.

Andy outgrew his non-sharing ways and sometimes will force me to try something from his plate without me asking.

Let us know who you think is right. I have to warn you though, if you don't agree with me, I'll have to delete your comment. Just kidding!


If you click on Humor-Blogs you'll get a free bag of Cheetos.


Watching House is making me a hypochondriac. Now I think I have a brain tumor and liver failure!


  1. I'm surprised you two ever got married after such a scarring incident.

    The Horror!!

    Mine right? ;o)

  3. The only right side here is mine.

    How dare you take food from a starving human being!

  4. One vote for.....Bee!
    I am a food sharer/sharee. Here we always have a "community" drink, "community" bowl, "community" whatever. WE share.

    Sometimes I don't want the whole thing, so we share. If Bee just wanted ONE cheeto, it didn't make sense for her to open another bag.

    Sharing is caring!

    p.s I LOOOOOVE CHEETOS. (The puffy ones too).

  5. I love puffy Cheetos ONLY, no crunchies for me. However, I am NOT a food sharer of junk food or sweets. I once bought an Almond Joy, which has TWO pieces of chocolate in it and my (cheap) friend said, "Can I have one?" I was all NO. WTF?

  6. Bee - I'm torn. I'd rather buy you your own french fries than share my french fries so that's where the retarded part of my brain sides with Andy.

    But then the key to my last statement was "the retarded part of my brain" so YOU must correct. Problem solved!

  7. Blogger ate my comment! That's even worse than eating my cheetos!

    I was going to say something about one of the most basic animal instincts is survival in the face of hunger, so taking food from a hungry person is dangerous.

    I was going to say that I'd let a woman take one of my cheetos. Perhaps.

  8. I always go with the "what's yours is mine" motto. It only works if Chris has something that I want, not the other way around.
    So, I side with you. He should have been happy to give you one!

  9. I would definitely have been appalled by his reaction.

    And Cheetos are the best! Have you tried the jalapeno-cheddar vaiety? As a matter of fact, it's sort of a local joke here in ABQ how everyone loves Flaming Hot Cheetos, everyone just calls them FHC's. And if your fingers aren't stained red you aren't a true Albuquerquean.

    In our house it was always the Fritos that were leftover.

  10. seriously? you have to ask who's right? there's an unwritten rule that boyfriends HAVE to share their food.

  11. Babe:
    If I was asking ‘who thru the biggest tantrum’, yes you’d win.

    Crazy Ez:
    When we first got married, he would buy yogurt to take for lunch. I had one one time and he went nutso saying those were for his lunch.
    My stuff? Fair game cuz I’m NORMAL.
    He doesn’t do that to me anymore but if somebody else takes his stuff, beware of the volcano. ;o)

    Ha Ha!
    But! If you had a few extra ones, would you have offered one to your friend?
    If the roles would have been reversed, I would have offered him a bag with his sandwich. Who eats a sandwich without chips?

    I’m sure my brother Dan will comment later but he is a FRY NAZI.

    The dude said he wasn’t hungry. He’d been home all day so I didn’t know if he’d already eaten or what.
    Also, how many times do I have to tell you to copy your comment before you post? It’s like to extra things to do.

    Andy goes by that motto too. What’s mine is his and what’s his is his. He always finishes my ice cream (we get separate since I don’t like Rocky Road YEAH I SAID IT) after he’s finished his.

    I was so upset with him I didn’t talk to him until AFTER Thanksgiving.
    I LOVE FHCs! My mouth is watering just thinking about them!
    Alas, my stomach has now turned into a whiny bitch every time I eat them so I save them for special celebratory occasions.

    Thank you! I’d never had a boyfriend say no to sharing!
    Andy was just different from the get go.
    I’m just glad I saw passed his idiosyncrasies.


    This is silly.
    It's not like it was a Funyon.

  13. First off - Cheetos ROCK. I only really like the crunchy kind, though. I also enjoy pretending to be Bam Bam Rubble when I get one of those big club-like Cheetos. If you got one of those when you took ONE, I would have asked you to marry me that second and promised to share my Cheetos with you forever. I'd have had to curb my desire to rip the Cheeto club from your fingers and be all "Bam Bam. Bam" with it first, though.

    Second - I live with a man who hides his peanut M&M's from me on a regular basis. Dude. Seriously. So I know of this food sharing thing. But please! Like he thinks he can get away with that. Especially when he hides them in the same place every time and I figured it out on bag freakin' one. Or I stalk him and never leave his side until he's forced to show me his hiding spots because he wants the chocolatey goodness of an M&M.

    Finally - Because of House, I fear that one day, I'll be the only person on the planet who tests positive for Sarcoidosis. I don't even know what Sarcoidosis is, but it sounds creepy, thus, just my luck.

  14. Damon:
    Ha ha! I have to be in the mood for Funions but when I start, I can’t stop.
    I think it is silly! We keep having the same argument over and over. Not seriously but still.

    I watched House last night and was positive I would die by morning! Then I woke up okay so I’m sure I’ll be fine till the next episode.

    Boys can be so mean! ;op

  15. I have friends who are manic about no one touching any bit of their food and they won't try anyone else's (at least they are consistent). Now, I can understand that with like a bite out of a sandwich or of a candy bar. Who wants another's spit in their food?

    If I understand this, Andy could have had a sandwich and chose not to? There were other bags of cheetos? I have to go with you on this one. If he was starving it was his own doing. One cheetos will not feed anyone like one potato chip can.

  16. Carla
    My Boo likes to chomp things from my plate but if I reach for one of his french fries, all hell breaks loose! He won’t even share with our kids! Now my son is doing the same damn thing!

    To share is to love.

    Wasn’t Andy going to do a post on his point of view? Did he chicken out?

  17. Daniel:
    I don’t like people drinking from my beverages or taking bites out of people’s stuff either. And by *stuff* I mean food. blech!
    Yup! Andy could have eaten anything he wanted but he said he wasn’t hungry. I don’t know about you but if I don’t like something, I just won’t eat it.

    Carla-Carla ;op
    My dad used to gives about an ounce of soda and say he’d give us more when we finished it. When we did the soda would be gone. He isn’t much of a sharer either.

    We’ve been busy doing yard work and other stuff bu I’ll remind him again by asking “What are ya’? Yella’??”

  18. We had this exact same fight over a chicken nugget...only my husband OFFERED me one, then got mad when I said yes!

    You are clearly right.

  19. I'm with Bee of course!

    I mean it's just one Cheeto! I think Bee was nice in only taking 1, I would have taken the whole bag and had him get another one :)

  20. I will say that, in this instance, Andy was overreacting. But he was only overreacting because men will always overreact when women take their food...because women always take men's food -- it's the sole reason we became hunter / gatherers...cause we never had any food...cause the women took it all.


  21. There is a saying... con uno que coma cuando son dos que se aman.

    loosly translated...if two people are in love who cares if only one eats.

    Maybe he was not in love YET!!

    Flaming hot puffy cheetos mmmmm the bomb!!


  22. Okay, here’s the deal:

    Tantrumboy was making dinner and he chose NOT to have a sandwich even though there were only small bags of chips….chips he didn’t like. He had the choice to deny the consumption of what he feels is a nastified food source by closing the cabinet door and making himself his own sam-dandwich. But no…..he had to portray himself as the forlorn and despondent soul with nothing to eat but a kindergarten-sized bag o’ Cheetos. I say stand up and revolt! He didn’t want to share his food but I bet he wanted you to French kiss him later in the evening. What’s up with that?!?!?

    Besides, cheesy poofs are so much better – me no likey crunchy ones and I would share my poofs!

  23. That's like my fries story. Bee and I go to a drive thru and I ask her if she wants anything and she says no. She then starts to eat all my fries!!! If you wanted fries I would have got you some.

  24. I think that Andy can legitimately use the inahalation of toxic orangey Cheeto dust as an excuse for his WRONGNESS!!!

    If he were a gentleman he would have put that one requested Cheeto from you Bee right into his mouth and asked you to come get it Lady And The Tramp spaghetti noodle style!!!

  25. Ummm, I know Andy is wrong, wrong, wrong because I did something similar to my best friend as a teenager. It involved doughnuts. Fifteen years later and she still continued to mock me about my hypersensitive reaction. :)

  26. Momo:
    Honestly! We would never do that! I always ask 'would you like some?' whenever I get my food.

    You heard this story the first time it happened, can you believe we still talk about it??

    Yeah but without us feems, how would you eat the food? Raw?

    Ha! He didn't love me? Well, hell! I wish I would have known that back then!

    Queen Goob:
    Exactly! It was his home! who am I to ask for an extra bag or whatever. He's lucky he's so damn cute!

    I didn't want a whole order of fries! Fry Nazi!

    Don't give him any ideas or he'll only want to eat that way from now on.
    You were a teenager, he was a grownd up man.


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.