Thursday, February 14, 2008

Day of Masacre and Love.♥

-Day 45. I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.- Author Unknown
Well it’s V-Day again. In honor of today, I’ve decided to write a little love letter at the end of this post.
The next segment is called:
Stupid is as stupid does. 4 Parts.
[while using my teddy bear Santa pen]
You know Christmas passed right?
No I didn't, I’m glad you told me! Old must be contagious!
[after taking my Lean Cuisine out of microwave]
Does it get very hot?
Bee: [rolling my eyes]
No, it makes it colder.
CL the receptionist:
Are you trying to degrade me by not letting me go to the bathroom?
Bee: [I looked up perplexed, hadn't even noticed her come into the Business Office because I was, you know, working.]
Do you think I like coming over and asking you if I "may" go to the bathroom as if I were a child asking teacher?
Bee: [after taking her argument into consideration]
While I AM pretty awesome and have many super powers, detecting when your bladder is full is not one of them.
[CL huffs out so I get up to give her the rest of my wise and sage advise (did you just say wise-ass? okay.)]
Unless you know a better way, other than me checking you with a dipstick, the only thing my simple mind can come up with is YOU telling ME you have to go to the bathroom.
Stupidest of all:
I'm upset I didn't think of the whole "withholding potty breaks" as a social experiment in my constant war against the bats. I must be slipping in my old age! What? Christmas is really over??
Here is my love letter:
Burgundy is the color of L-O-V-E
How did I ever function before you came into my life?
If I were to be stranded on a highway, I could use you as my lifeline.
You wake me up in time to be late for work.
You remind me of people’s birthdays and movies I want to see.
You tell me about the weather and how to get places.
You let me watch shows I’ve missed and keep me updated on my bloggy friends.
It was love at first sight even though all I saw was a picture.
When I saw you up close and personal it was better than my dreams.
You go with me wherever I go,
even when I take a shower you are by my side.
Your sweet tune makes me realize people love to talk to me.
And even though you cost me a few weeks of my allowance, buying you was totally worth it!
My will never be the same.

I love you my new Blackjack II in Burgundy.

Bee s B2B 4-ever!
Who'd you think it was gonna be for? Andy? ;o)
Yeah, I suck at writing love letters cuz I'm not the mushy type.
<- Please click<-


  1. Only a woman would write a love letter to an inanimate battery-powered gadget.

    Speaking of gadgets, you should get one of those "bottles" for CL.

  2. Brian
    Brilliant !!!! but its not inanimate that's what the battery is for.
    Bee, stop acting like a Bad Ass, you now you're really a big softee.

  3. Dear Bee,
    Happy Valentines Day!
    What a sweet sweet letter to your
    B2B. We're getting new cellphones next month when our current contract is up. Maybe I'll get one since you like yours so much.
    I would probably write my love letter to my laptop. It rocks!

  4. Happy V-DAY!!!

    So, what did you get the bats?

  5. I'm kidding!

    So, what did you get Milton?

  6. Nah!

    Ok, so far looks like Daily Hero didn't get me anything, so we are doing good.
    How about Andy?

  7. Looks like Blackjack and Bee is a pair made in heaven.
    Wish you all happiness in the world.

  8. Bee,

    Very funny post. I loved your burgundy poem.

    wish I had thought of that.

  9. I knew who it was for right away. It would have troll gashing in it if it was for Andy

  10. Brian:
    No, I said it was about my CELLPHONE! I think you’re losing your hearing in your old age.

    Softeeee?? That is the meanest thing you ever said to me! The meanest Jerry!
    Great! Now I’m crying! I hope you’re happy!

    Happy V-Day to you too!
    Go to your favorite cellophane store, mine is AT&T wireless [thanks Big Tex!] and check out the Blackjack. I got it on sale and wound up paying peanuts for it.
    I said PEANUTS!!
    I too love my laptop. I got it October-November for my birthday and her name is Ruby Red.

    All the bats are getting the same thing this year, itchy powder.
    I won’t find out if Andy listened to me until he comes home. I’ve got my fingers crossed!
    B2B and Bee 4-ever!

    Thanks! I hope you have something in your life that you love as much as I do. ;o)

    jean knee:
    You know us soooo well! Unlike meany pants Dan!

  11. "You go with me wherever I go, even when I take a shower you are by my side..."

    Yeah... Not a good idea... You might want to reconsider that one. Love is about sacrifice, so you will have to sacrifice being apart from your love for it’s own good...


    Just this morning Big Tex had a stern talking with me regarding taking a cell phone to the shower.

    Turns out the humidity in the bathroom from when you take your shower is slowly but surely causing your cell phone’s inside parts to oxidize, this will of course eventually cause it to fail. Making you of course spent more money on another phone before your contract is up. So please do your phone and your wallet a favor and

    After all what can be so important that it can’t wait 15 minutes for you to take your shower and call back?

  12. Nancy:
    Noooooooooooooo! Say it aint sooooooo!
    Okay, I'll leave it in a safe place. That might be a good thing cuz then I'll shower faster and not dilly dally.

  13. WAIT!!
    What if I put it in a plastic baggy??? Ask Big Tex if this will work.

  14. I wouldn't worry about the humidity. I bet you're fickle and will have unceremoniously dumped your beloved for a new model before it oxidises.

  15. Brian, you're also getting meaner.
    I will love this phone forever and ever.
    Just like my Silver Razr and my Black Razr... may they rest in peace.

  16. Brian is right...

    Bee likes to love them and leave them. Just ask her how long did her love for the black - blackjack last...

    Show her something shiny and she will change her mind.. :)

  17. Nancy:
    The other Blackjack was Black this one is Burgundy! You know of my love for the reds.

  18. I've had the same pay-as-you-go Nokia 3310 for almost 5 years. It may not let you go online, do email, double up as a ghetto blaster, etc, etc, but it has a feature that I suspect modern models don't have much use for - you can call people on it, and talk to them. Remember when that used to be the main function of a phone?

    Another useful feature is that instead of chucking it away when you want a change of colour, you can change the covers.

  19. Hey, if you guys are happy with un-coordinating gadgets, more power to you!

  20. I think Big Tex wont get me a fancy phone cause he knows I'll mess it up!

  21. Beepers I know your love for the color and to tell you the truth the Blackjack II is totally you!

  22. It's time to place some 'BATHROOM CLOSED' signs on the door and record what happens next, Bee.

    Yes, the hour draws nigh for such a prank.

  23. You wrote a love letter to Jack Black? Whaaaaaaaa?

  24. Green is the color of love, Bee.

    You're my elder. Must I be the one to teach you everything?

  25. Yeah, I should do the dipstick thing on my piano students when they need to go potty 3 times during a 30-minute lesson.

  26. hey bee!hiHIhiHIhiHIhiHIhiHIhiHIhiHI and a happy belated icky heart day to you. looks like you have found yourself a new love and i must say you two make a gorgeous couple. just think now your cell will match your nails! that poem was an inspirtation to me. im going to go look for some inanimate object to shower my love on.
    miss you bunches - jai


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