Wednesday, February 13, 2008

I'll vote for you Stephen Colbert!

-Day 44. Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.- Author Unknown

So...

There's this chick that completely hooked me on Stephen Colbert. He's now on my "list of 5 men" and all because of his sense of humor. Is it weird that I keep changing my 5? I guess it's fine as long as it's not laminated.

Please click on this video where he interviews Philip Zimbardo regarding his book "The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil". Watch the faces he makes very carefully.


A quote from him on this video "I teach Sunday school Mother F*cker!"

I love him. (Stephen not Philip)
They removed the video, here's the link.




Now stay tuned for a message from our sponsor.

Does your husband not listen to you when you ask him not to buy you anything for Valentine's Day? Does he listen to his friends instead who tell him you're playing mind games and you really really want a present, chocolate or flowers?

Well, here is our solution:
Grab him by the short hairs (OF HIS NECK), bring his head down to your eye level and say the following words "Babe, I love you but if you bring me anything this year, so help me I'll shave your eyebrows while you sleep!"

That moment brought to you by Bad Ass Wives of America.


Those chickens are on to something!

Andy quotes of the night:

Bee, I want to lead people into a resistance against machines!

(while watching Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles)

Bee:

You can do anything as long as you believe in yourself babe!

.............................................

Mike Huckabee:

"I didn't major in math. I majored in miracles"

Andy:

I think Jesus will have something to say about that!

**************************************

Who needs to go out in this crappy weather to find entertainment when I have my own stand up comedian sitting next to me on the sofa?

Please click on humor-blogs!

29 comments:

  1. I voted for Emilia as president yesteray...

    This Stephen chap is certainly entertaining...

    A stand-up comedian sitting down? That's impressive.

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  2. tell Andy to stop using his X-BOX, all tv's and computers, Rise against the Machine Andy!!!

    Brian
    I find it hard to vote for a woman prez. I tell my wife that Hilary has no chance for the sole fact that she's a woman. She says woman will stick together. I'm reminded of a show called "Survivor" 8 men and 8 woman are left in an island, thru out the show people get voted off until there is only one left, the winner gets 1 million dlls.
    Well, in one season torawrds the middle of the show there were 6 woman and only one man left, guess who won...the man.
    You would think that the woman would have quickly voted him off but they didn't. The woman started fighting with eachother. Woman do not stick together.

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  3. Dear Bee-
    Why don't you want Andy to get you anything for Valentines Day? I love Valentines Day. Of course, instead of having a date night we have family night where we spend it together, everybody get a gift and we do chocolate fondu. Nothing says love like three kids hopped up on sugar, swing around metal skewers. Good times.
    Love,
    Tracy

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  4. tell him you want a new pair of shoes--everyone's happy

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  5. NCS and Bee are neck in neck for 11 th

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  6. Brian:
    Isn’t he dreamy?? (Stephen… and Andy of course)


    Dan:
    Dan! Did you watch the Stephen Colbert thing? You have to. You will develop a man crush! ;o)


    Tracy:
    I love the way you celebrate it! If I had childens I’d celebrate your way.
    As for me. are you ready for a long story?
    I’ve always been more of a tomboy so I’ve never been much for romance. Before we got married, we celebrated our first Valentine’s Day together by going to see Grease The Musical, that was nice but I had to shower, do my hair, wear a dress, then there were lots of people and traffic…
    The next year we were low on funds so I said let’s not celebrate it. This beautiful tradition went on while we dated.
    For some reason, after we got married, his buddies kept telling him “dude, she does want something and when you come home empty handed she’s going to get pissed!”
    So instead of him thinking “I really love my wife I think I’ll get her flowers” he’s thinking “WTF! Now I have to stop after work and get her flowers!”
    He goes to the closest Supermarket. and buys me outrageously overpriced roses (I don’t like roses and he knows it) which get freezer burn once he takes them out into the cold tundra and they last about 3 days.
    Since I roll with the punches, ;op I said to him one year after he brought half dead flowers, “If you insist on buying me flowers, get the Asian Lilies that cost $4, those are my favorite” does my beloved little sweetie pie listen to me?
    No.
    And now I sound ungrateful because he’s stopped at the store in the middle of blizzards and paid big cash for flowers. A) I’d rather have him home in bad weather and B) I’d rather save the money and get something for both of us.

    jean knee:
    Naw, he’d get me the wrong size.

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  7. it's cold here today, how do you stand it??????

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  8. Shit, what a long answer for Tracy, don't post tommorow.

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  9. I did watch it, what the hell is a man crush ?

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  10. I just had that exact Valentine's conversation with my husband this very morning Bee.

    And that's scary.

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  11. Flowers just die and then you got nuthin'.

    ;P

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  12. Muy Bad Ass Wives for America, Inc.February 13, 2008 at 12:45 PM

    We approve.

    BAD!

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  13. at least with candy your thighs fill out and you can remember it for months to come.

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  14. ONE LINE JOKE CRACKERSFebruary 13, 2008 at 12:58 PM

    That's what he said!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Association to keep Bee postingFebruary 13, 2008 at 12:59 PM

    Don't listen to Dan, Bee! Keep posting!

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  16. Dan, we are revoking your powers as "Brother"!

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  17. I say you can always change that list of 5, even if it is laminated. Why else would Jesus (or Mike Huckabee) have invented dry erase markers?

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  18. Dear Bee-
    Would you like to hear the story of mine and my hubby's first V-Day? I too had to shower, fix hair, paint on face, and wear a dress and heels. He took me to a really nice restaurant where the waitress really wanted to earn her tip. I was drinking wine and she never let me have an empty glass. By the time we were finished with dinner, I was three sheets to the wind. By the time we got home, I felt terrible and ended up passing out five minutes after we got home. Romace blossomed. The end.
    I'm like you though, I don't want the expensive roses. Actually, the only gift I've ever asked him for was a note, not even a letter just a note, telling me that he loves me. After nine years, I still have never gotten my note. Instead I've recieved nine bunches of roses.
    Love
    Tracy

    PS Dan- She gave me the long response because she loves me...:P

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  19. BEE!
    BEEE!
    BEEEEE!
    BEEEEEEE!
    BEEEEEEEEE!
    BEEEEEEEEEEE!
    BEEEEEEEEEEEE!
    BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Bee! Bee! Bee!

    Oh wait, that's me!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Whoever did that must know I ♥love pyramid-y things!

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  22. Tracy, I swear to you this story is true. For our 5th aniversary, I said to my beloved little perogi 'all I wnat was a note from you'. He bitched and moaned so then I said okay, find a song you think relates to us because we don't have a "song".
    He bitched and moaned so we got Mocha instead.
    Moral of the story?
    Just buy me a dog.

    ReplyDelete
  23. More Bee for AmericaFebruary 13, 2008 at 6:14 PM

    B
    BEE
    BEEEE
    BEEEEEE
    BEEEEEEEE
    BEEEEEEEEEE
    BEEEEEEEEEEEE
    BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    ReplyDelete
  24. More Bee for AmericaFebruary 13, 2008 at 6:15 PM

    Hey! It messed up my cool piramide.
    :(
    BOOOO.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hmmmmm, Dan makes a good point. How can I lead a rebellion against the very thing I am so dependent on for my own personal enjoyment/sanity?

    What don't I need?

    Prolly that asshat the protests at American soldiers funerals claiming they died because our military is weak because they let homosexuals in the armed forces.

    Yea that might be something to fight against, or I could just poop in a bag & light it on fire on his front porch, ring the bell & get the hell outta there!!!!

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  26. Dear Bee,
    Great minds think alike. You know, the other night my hubby and I were talking about making our will and he said that the didn't like talking about it because he didn't like to think of him dying and some other man coming in and raising his family for him. I told him not to worry because if anything ever happened to him, I'm going lesbian. Maybe my new wife and my kids' other mom will write me a frippin letter.
    Love
    Tracy

    PS: Andy, do you think that poop in a bag is a big enough statement for Fred Phelps? I blogged about him the other day. I hate him too. You can watch a really weird interview on youtube with his daughter. She's a loony too.

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  27. FADKOG:
    I like the way you think! :o)

    ReplyDelete

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.