-Day 34. "I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost.- Frank Bruno, Boxer
Evil Tracy tagged me and then told me to stuff it or shovel it or something. I'm not sure what "it" is or where I should stuff/shovel it into... anyway!
The Five Randoms
The Mission:
Share five random/weird things about myself.
Share five places that I want to see or see again.
Tag five random people and link to them and let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. This ends here!
The Mission:
Share five random/weird things about myself.
Share five places that I want to see or see again.
5 Weird Things about me.
These are only weird because they're things that make me laugh for no reason easily explainable to anybody else.
Warning! If you are of extreme sensitivity, you might want to skip this post since I say the "F word"allot in it. Allot.
1- My favorite thing to call someone is "Fuck-wit"
The first time I heard it, I almost doubled over in laughter.
Hmmm I can't remember if somebody called me a fuck-wit or if I just heard it being said to someone.
2- My favorite phrase is:
You just gotta be smarter than the thing you're fuckin' with.
Andy's boss said that to him one time and I nearly peed my pants because I thought it was so funny. (And then I went and beat the crap out of Andy's boss cuz nobody talks that way to my man!)
3- My family doesn't know I swear as much as I do. Well, until now.
But I do. And I like making up my own swear words that only make sense to me and make me laugh. Dinkleweed.
4- Andy thinks I swear funny.
When we're in the car and he calls someone a fucktard. I say "Yeah, YOU FUCKATRD DINGLEBERRY" and Andy laughs so he'll swear some more so that I can keep goin'.
2- My favorite phrase is:
You just gotta be smarter than the thing you're fuckin' with.
Andy's boss said that to him one time and I nearly peed my pants because I thought it was so funny. (And then I went and beat the crap out of Andy's boss cuz nobody talks that way to my man!)
3- My family doesn't know I swear as much as I do. Well, until now.
But I do. And I like making up my own swear words that only make sense to me and make me laugh. Dinkleweed.
4- Andy thinks I swear funny.
When we're in the car and he calls someone a fucktard. I say "Yeah, YOU FUCKATRD DINGLEBERRY" and Andy laughs so he'll swear some more so that I can keep goin'.
Aren't we romantic??
5- The only people that can leave make me freeze and unable to function are kids. They leave me speechless, confused and tired. I don't know why but it 's true.
Five places that I want to see or see again:
1- The bottom of my closet
2- The back of my closet
3- The windows of my back porch
4- The walls of my garage
5- Every little corner in Europe.
Ha! It's either all or nothing! ;o)
There! Are you happy? Now you know things you didn't need to know!
Am I really First?
ReplyDeleteWow. This most be my lucky day!
I'm in fact of extreme sensitivity. I skipped over to the Savage Chickens but I found it rude.
ReplyDeleteHMMM!
I hope you make up for this Bee.
ReplyDeleteHow about some of your mom's tamales? I'd totally forgive you ('cause I;m nice like that)
Another illusion shattered.
ReplyDeleteMy mental picture of you is (was) a studious "librarian" type of person. In tweeds with glasses like milk bottles. When she speaks, which isn't often (usually only whilst taking the class in Sunday School), it's in quiet, measured tones.
So to say I'm shocked is an understatement. I'm fucking traumatised.
You should get a swear box.
Fantastic list. I love the favourite phrase. :D
ReplyDeleteWhen she drops the F-Bomb she takes a long time to pronounce the letter f(EFFFFFFFFFFF, no really it takes her a good 2 seconds to get the F out. She can leave a room faster than that.)
ReplyDeleteAnd every syllable is over emphasized more than it should be ( thats probably the Spanish language. IE. Antonio Banderas)
Almost sounds like someone with a slight studder & a small case of tourette's syndrome.
NCS:
ReplyDeleteTamalitos for you whenever you're in the state of Illinois!
Woodstock Woohoo!! |..|
Brian:
Well then I'd be broke all the time...
SB:
Everytime I'm having problems figuring something out, I think of that phrase and the answer magically comes to me!
Andy:
FFFFFFFFFFFFunny!
In my sanitized world I have to even clean up words like crap and modify it into a Frenchy-sounding "Crapp-Ay" instead because my kids chew me out about my pottymouth. Thats what happens when you send your kids to church, Bee. They get all pious and stuff.
ReplyDeleteMany times my teeth have clenched and a slow SHHHHHHHHH starts to escape but then I see them glaring at me and have to settle for an unsatisfying SHEET or SHOOT instead. :( Yeah, kids don't leave me speechless. They just make me have to alter my speech.
Papi and I have romantic moments too. We taunt back and forth using racial barbs.
ReplyDeleteAre you shocked?
I call him Mojado Pescado sometimes and he calls me White She-Devil On A Cracker.
We're lovely people.
I feel really left out here. Drew and I just snear at each other. fffffuck , the romance is gone
ReplyDeleteAhhh, the f-bomb. I remember it well. There was a time when I knew how to skillfully throw an f-bomb (or in your case Bee an ffffffffff-bomb) and then I went and had children and now instead of saying the true f word, I have to say things like "Mother Frippin Son of A gun!" Another is "God......bless America!"
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I have found a way to make avoiding curses entertaining.
And I have to say, I kind of like you a little better now that I know you use the f-word.
Also, don't feel bad about the confusion from the kids. I still get that way.
EWBL:
ReplyDeleteAHHHH le amour! ;o) They tried to get me to stop saying obnoxious things in front of Natalia but it's easier for me to say "Sorry honey, that was a no-no word."
jean knee:
You can start tomorrow.
Tracy:
Ha! I just called Andy a Phooker cuz he wouldn't let me watch House.