Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Back to our regularly scheduled program... sort of.

-Day 51! OH MY LORD! I'm hyperventilating!! Diesel at Mattress Police Antisocial Commentary did a post about the controversy! It's like Angelina Jolie saying she likes my style! Same feeling! The same!

Did you guys just call me a kiss ass?!?! Okay.

Thanks to everyone for mocking the mocker. You guys love me! Or at least don't hate me too much. Give yourselves a high five. Harder!

Moving on.

Elderly Reactions to my hair:

Milton:
“Oh. Wow! Interesting.”

Translation:
You just overloaded my brain.


Glynda:
“It looks great!”

Translation:
I wish I could be you.
(Come on now, we all know it's true!)

Scarecrow:
“I love it!”

Translation:
Phew! I thought my alcoholic mind was making me see things! (I know that was mean of me but I really don’t care)


Cowardly Lion:
[She chose to ignore me, my soul is still crying.]

Translation:
I won’t acknowledge you until you let me pee freely!
(I hope that goes on my tombstone)

PD [on loan from the Louvre, she has decided to work alternating weeks]:
“Well, will you look at that? When did you do this? … … Cute.”

Translation:
You are a heathen devil's spawn and I can’t believe I have to sit across from you for 3 days before I’m off for another week and a half! (Yeah, she is such a bitch!)

Toto:
“Oh how cool!”

Translation:
Where’s my dog treat?


Tin-Man:
“Don’t let my wife see you because she’ll want your hair!”

Translation:
“Don’t let my wife see you because she’ll want your hair!”


The best was OZ:
[Does a double take as he sees me walking by. He pages my extension.]
Bianca, can you come in here for a moment.

[once I get there]

I couldn’t believe my eyes! What’s next tattoos and piercings? I’m going to do my mine pink.

Me:
Blue, you should do yours blue.

OZ:
You look sharp!

Seriously, he said I looked sharp! Ha! I haven’t said that since I was about 15 or 16. He tries to talk in “young people’s language” I don’t even understand the young ‘uns! You know, because I’m old.


Okay, business time:

Please click on Humor-Blogs.
Later Dudes!

21 comments:

  1. Π Ρ Ω Τ Ο Σ ! ! !

    So, when you finally get "666" tattooed on your forehead, do you think he'll be okay about that?

    Presumably there are some limits, given that you have to try and avoid scaring off the punters?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Bee,
    I think that after the bats look at your hair for a while everyone in the office, especially Oz, is going to start showing up with brightly colored stripes.
    Oh and I left two more comments on your Gerald post. Read please.
    Love
    Tracy

    ReplyDelete
  3. Brian has a better keyboard than I do. *pout*

    ReplyDelete
  4. My 12 year old daughter freakin wants your hair. I just talked her out of purple streaks and now she wants red streaks like you.

    Bee doesn't cause elbow sweat but she does corrupt minors.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So now you look sharp to match your sharp tongue.

    You shouldn't give your sharpness away, Bee. It's better when you take people by surprise.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My hair is way long enough to donate to Locks Of Love, now but I secretly like my hair curtain to hide behind.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Brian
    What does your keyboard look like ?
    Does it have all those weird English signs on them ?

    Bee
    You should put on a fake tatoo and tell them it's real.

    ReplyDelete
  8. poor things are probably still reeling.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Since I did so well translating for the bats, I will now do it for Brian.
    Π Ρ Ω Τ Ο Σ ! ! !=
    Bee you are hilarious every morning I wake up and laugh so hard I break blood vessels! ! !

    Thanks Brain! :o)

    Tracy:
    Did I ever tell you about some things they’ve copied from me? I bought this really cool bracelet with beads and the ends were magnetized, well these freakin old ladies went hunting for them and each bought one! Then I had this cool turtle charm on my old cell phone and they each had to go buy one! I wouldn’t be surprised.

    EWBL:
    Tell her it might ruin her cool clothes when the red leaks onto it after she showers. And towels, ruins towels too!

    Dan:
    Ha! I have a ton of fake tattoos, good idea!

    jean knee:
    Ha! Serves them right! >:o[

    ReplyDelete
  10. AND BRIAN... "666" NICE!
    >:op

    ReplyDelete
  11. 333 half evil

    I know you felt pity for one of the bats, at least once

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dan:

    My keyboard certainly has its full complement of English letters, and £ and € (Euro). Luckily most of the Greek letters use their "obvious" English counterpart keys, and I've pasted a piece of paper at the top with the three I have more difficulty remembering.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I got this the time I tried to do my hair all sexy, Bee-style, awhile back:

    (this, too, is from someone at work who should leave me alone, dammit, because they want to be me!)

    "Wow. So. Yeah. Wow. Is that a rinse? Like, will that wash out in a few days or something? That's what they call a rinse, right?"

    People don't know what they should do with hotness like ours, Bee. We fluster mortals.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Bee... you wrote your name!

    SC

    ReplyDelete
  15. Bee... you wrote your name!

    SC

    ReplyDelete
  16. I got distracted and posted twice.

    Dan,

    My keyboard is made by Microsoft, is wireless, has "speed" buttons for direct access to: My Documents, My Pictures, My Music, Mail, Messenger, My Favorite Web Sites (1,2,3,4,5), direct access to my media files, a separate Play, Pause, Stop, Mute Fast Forward and Rewind area. It has a mouse scroll option on the left side as well as forward and back page. It has a very comfortable pad and, accepts 50 strikes per second.

    It starts my car from up to 5 miles away, microwaves my food in 1/10 of the time a normal microwave would, doubles as an ice-scraper when it snows, breast feeds infants (between the ages of 1 month to 24 months)...

    I have, by far, the best keyboard around.

    SC

    ReplyDelete
  17. how many fluffy, sweet bats will you destroy in your life time?

    ReplyDelete
  18. someone from a craft blogFebruary 20, 2008 at 4:32 PM

    I clicked over here from Jean Knee's craft blog, I am shocked and will probably go blind by nightfall. Why can't you try to be sweet like she is?

    ReplyDelete
  19. FADKOG:
    I love the tag line!
    "We fluster mortals"! LOVE IT!

    SC:
    I do so when OZ refers to me cuz it just seems weird to have him say "Bee".
    Can you have your keyboard make me some coffee??

    PETA/Scrapper:
    Doesn't jean knee rock?? ;op

    ReplyDelete
  20. I love your hair!
    LOVE.LOVE.LOVE.

    Poor Cowardly Lion I hope the Truth comes out soon.

    ReplyDelete

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.