A story in which we mourn a crocodile, a cat and my father-in-laws pride. Just kidding Pop R.

So obviously there's no comic strip today. My Andy has been really busy this week. Yes, he was on a forced vacation and had a WHOLE WEEK he could have worked on it but he had to do other things like golf and go eat crocodile sausage. I know, I know. I'm disappointed too. Even more so because he's been burping up that croc sausage the past few days. Well, I must admit he was also working on my mom's floor but that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, the guys (and my father-in-law) came over Saturday to put up drywall so it's beginning to look like her place again.

before

now

You can't see my hand anymore woohoo!

For this momentous project we rented a ginormous dumpster. Taking advantage of having a huge receptacle for things that no longer belong in my house, I told Andy to get rid of the hundreds of empty boxes he's kept just in case his Xbox/Rock Band/Guitar Hero/TV/Printer/ETC break. Because he didn't want me to nag and wanted to get to his croc sausage eating, he threw out all the boxes.

Saturday morning, I was walking my mother-in-law to her car after she dropped off my father-in-law when I noticed the Rock Band box sitting on my neighbor Boomhauer's driveway.

I told my mother-in-law that I thought it was weird and she said it might have flown out of the dumpster and since I didn't want Boomhauer to think we were litter bugs, I went to pick it up so I may return it to its new home. I innocently lifted one of the flaps and immediately jumped 10 feet in the air and shrieked like an 11 year old girl! Why? BECAUSE THERE WAS A DEAD CAT IN IT!

Okay calm down. I'm okay now but holy Moses! Way to wake the hell up on a Saturday morn! I immediately went to Andy, the croc sausage eater, and told him to open the box and confirm there was something dead in there and it wasn't my imagination. He wouldn't do it of course even after his mom and I taunted him about how I, A GIRL, saw it and survived but he didn't care. He later found out Boomhauer's wife had seen a cat lying in the street so she asked him to pick up the poor cat. He went into the dumpster grabbed the Rock Band box, scooped it up (I'm sure he also said a prayer or maybe cursed his wife) and then left it on his driveway for next Halloween. He says he didn't know what to do with it but I think it may have served its purpose. TO KEEP ME OFF HIS DRIVEWAY.

Also, I saw a mouse scampering about on the outside walls of my house. Again, I yelled for my Andy, not in fear okay? I know I just told you I shrieked like a little girl when I opened the box but that's because it was unexpected. Mice don't scare me because I eat spiders. So my father-in-law and Andy come out to investigate and there is the poor cute little mouse looking at us with its big eyes and I say "Kill it!" and Andy walks away. See, I think he thought it looked too much like Mocha, his favorite, so he couldn't do it. My father-in-law on the other hand tried slamming a brick on it but it scampered near the roof so he went and got a big board from the dumpster (it seems the dumpster is serving as a place to get coffins and weapons) and tried to squish it but the damn thing flew! I'm not kidding! It flew at him and then landed on the ground where my father-in-law proceeded to look like a Tom and Jerry cartoon in trying to kill it. He stabbed at the ground with the board and tripped and then stabbed at the firewood but the rat bastard got away and went back into Wilson's yard also known as HIS DUMPSTER.

I know what you're thinking, all the exciting shit happens to me.

What's in the box scene from Seven done with puppets. hilarious.