Brian reviews METALLICA! Enter Sandman.

Okay, you guys will be shocked by Brian's review this week. I know I was. But then I wasn't because Metallica rocks. Although I wish they would stop being such bitches about their music and post videos on youtube already. I think it's cool exposing Brian to " "new" " music. And also, Metallica has never sounded so classy... or delicious.

Here we go:

The aptly named Metallica are like Ludwig Van Beethoven. Beethoven's music sounded crap on the latest pianos of his day. Of course, this wasn't a problem for him due to his deafness, but it led to vast improvements in piano technology.

Similarly, Metallica's brand of music must have sounded rubbish on the amplification equipment being used by the likes of the Commodores, not to mention law enforcement agencies, and so much more heavy duty amps and speakers were needed. Though, like Beethoven, I suspect that the Metallica musicians might be going deaf by now.

Metallica are a thrash metal band. This is apparently a subgenre of heavy metal. Heavy metal became popular in the 1970s when the music industry was facing a huge problem. Air time on the radio was vital to their sales, but as more and more people drove everywhere it was realised that they couldn't actually hear the music over the low frequency roar of their engines. Heavy metal changed all that. Now people couldn't hear their engines and kept stalling, which is why Americans switched to driving automatics.

If you want another comparison with classical music (of course you do), then I'd say that Metallica are like Johann Sebastian Bach. Bach was an organist, which meant that he sat there dwarfed by all the massive pipes and made loud music that wasn't exactly to everyone's taste, in a church full of devout worshippers.

The worshippers at the Church of Metallica are all clearly having a great time. It must take a huge amount of charisma, not to mention guts, to stand there, like  cathedral organist, dwarfed by the enormity of their sound systems, not to mention the crowd.

The performance has almost everything. Pyrotechnics, the all-important drum beat, noise, and (I'm told) heartfelt lyrics, though I couldn't make out a word of them. I was very disappointed that they didn't smash up their guitars - that was the bit I was really looking forward to.

Listening to Metallica reminded me of eating curry. At one extreme you get the easy-to-eat but unexiting Korma, and at the other there's no flavour - just relentless painful heat. Or in the case of Metallica the relentless harsh noise. Enter Sandman was a bit too harsh for my taste, and as usual I preferred some of their other songs. But there's something addictive about the heat in a spicy curry, and I found the same thing with this music. I don't think I'd want to risk damaging my hearing by going to a concert, but I was absolutely astounded to find that I enjoyed it.

Metallica are like Wagner. Their music is better than it sounds. Actually, I preferred their music to Wagner's. I'm almost tempted to buy a CD.

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There you have it Metallica fans, Brian's seal of approval.

Stay tune tomorrow for a Bee epiphany where I thank the Jehovah's Witnesses. You read that right.

P.S.

Also, thanks for the suggestions on my "About Me" and no Dan, I shall not blog about me pulling a knife on some guys! Jeez this here is a friendly blog! Sort of. I went over to read John J Savo, The Authoring Auctioneer's Mission Statement and I have to say, if I didn't already admire his skills, I'd be a convert. You must go see what I'm talking about because the man can spin the written word.

P.P.S.

Thanks to James Hetfield (back then not now), I am going to grow my hair out again and hopefully not look like Lars (DAN!!)