Thursday, March 26, 2009

Brian reviews Milli Vanilli

So... most of you may remember Milli Vanilli and the tragedy that was once we found out those two stud muffins ::snicker gag snicker:: weren't the ones singing. I don't know about you all but I loved their songs. Still do and I'm not ashamed to admit it because I'm secure in my coolness.millivanilli my own personal copy.

Anyway, I got to thinking that Brian missed the whole scandal because he was ensconced in a hyperbaric chamber somewhere in Antarctica listening to penguins mating. Just kidding Brian, don't get mad.

I had the biggest crush on Rob Pilatus and I was so sad when they interviewed him years later and he was depressed and saying how his life was in a spiral. He eventually committed suicide. That sucked donkey balls and still makes me weepy to this day. Okay not really but it was sad.

Anyway, here's Brian's review of Milli Vanilli's "Baby, Don't Forget My Number"


When Bee told me that I was to review Milli Vanilli, I was a bit worried about my waistline. However, it turns out that this is still a music review rather than a food tasting, and that Milli Vanilli isn't a special kind of confectionary that goes on cakes, but a pop band.

Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus are featured on this video, and were the outfit's Kermit and Miss Piggy - that is, they danced and generally goofed around while other people played the music and did the vocals. This caused a fuss when it turned out that they weren't really singing, in the same way that a lot of people would be shocked if you told them that the Muppets weren't real.

Perhaps the problem was that they pretended to be the real artists, and even won awards. Though I'm sure the Muppets have done that too. Anyway, this is completely irrelevant as far as I'm concerned - who cares how it's done? It's the finished product that matters.

I must admit, though, that I was slightly suspicious when I noticed someone doing an impersonation of Animal to a drum beat that sounded like it came from a machine. In fact, the music is heavily synthesized, and it sounds from the online videos I watched that it suffered from the really bright treble that seemed to be a great favourite of 90's pop recording engineers. But I haven't heard a CD, so I can't be sure about that.

Don't Forget My Number, shown here with a video clearly shot in London, seems to be a dance/rap song. The theme is very catchy - I caught myself humming it long after I'd finished listening. Fab and Rob do their bit, and the video tells a story of boy meets girl, boy decides to phone girl, but the all important bit of paper with her number on it gets sucked out of the window by the wind, spoiling his plans for the night. Dialus Interruptus. That's why they call them windows. The moral of the story is clearly that you should take better care of scraps of paper, or get a mobile phone.

The actual song isn't bad -  It's all very rhythmic (not just the drum machine), which is why it's so catchy. I wasn't moved emotionally by all this, but there was enough variety and the piece was well enough constructed that I suspect most people would find it good to listen to. They didn't explain who Eddie was, though. I hope he's okay.

The one thing that struck me about all of the songs I heard was that they were well written. I expect that when you have Muppets to front your act, you tend to employ professionals behind the scenes. Come to think of it, that's probably what Jim Henson did, too...


Hmmm... I was never a fan of the muppets. There's something about hollow, fuzzy creatures with hands up their butts that gives me the heebie jeebies. Andy just corrected me and said those were puppets not muppets. Whatever they are all freaky.

It's awesome to know that Brian was humming this song. I think I am slowly bringing him into the 21st century music wise. Yes, I know that technically Milli Vanilli is from the 20th century. No need to correct me you nerds.

Stay tuned tomorrow for Bee's Musings Presents: Interview with an Electrician, Ordinary Man or Superhero?


  1. FIRST

    when's the last time I was first??

  2. seriously Bee, haven't we all at one time or another wanted to hear penguins mate?

  3. I never understood the uproar either.

    Two cute guys, dancing around, making videos-who cares if it was their voices???

    By the time the studios mix the voices and computerize the heck out of em and do their magic it isn't ever really the singers' real voice.

    and ew on the hand up the muppet ashe thing. ewwww

  4. All I can say is if you don't like this post:

    "Blame it on the rain.. yeah, yeah!"

    Sorry.. Bad moment there.. I'll behave..

  5. Bravo Brian! A fair review of Milli Vanilli - for a music lover, that must have been very tough going. Well done feller.

  6. I loved Milli Vanilli!! Watched all their videos on VH1. I really do not know what all the uproar was about, because now most, if not all, "artists" sound like crap out of the studio and need major work done to sound halfway decent.

  7. What do you mean, they didn't sing?

    AGH! You just ruined my favorite memories from high school!

  8. Milli Vanilli always rocked it out. It sucks that they had to return their Grammys. What a rip off. If they had to, then surely a certain Britney Spears must give hers back, also. Anyone ever heard her actually sing - not lip sync? Didn't think so.

  9. Milli Vanill was a bad joke. You used to be funnier.

  10. Anonymous:
    Why stop there? I used to be skinner and smarter too.

  11. Hey anonymous..

    You know, there used to be a time when folks posting like that would make me upset for the blogging host.

    Now? I just revel in the fact that the need to stay anonymous means you have no balls to be willing to stand up for your opinion.

    Maybe Bee can interview you next, just to find out how much creativity you lack?

  12. Thanks Jorm!

    Ha ha yeah haters no longer bother me as much as they used to either.

  13. Solidarity, sista! I still have Milli Vanilli on my iPod and that stuff never gets fast-forwarded!

  14. Oh, and I think a better would be
    "Don't do the crime if you HAVE a sensitive asshole."
    sorry, it was obvious.

  15. What the hell? I wrote two other comments but only the last one shows up! I poured my heart and soul into those comments!
    Damn Internets!

    I can't do it again but you have to come over to my place. I have something for you there. Ok? Please?


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.