Thursday, March 5, 2009

Brian reviews P!nk. And then goes into the witness protection and relocation program.

This week, I asked Brian to review P!nk. What he didn’t know is that I am one of the biggest P!nk fans ever to buy her CDs and put them on repeat. Since I disagree with some of his review, I have decided to interject my dissatisfaction of his comments IN RED. Is that fair? Probably not but LIFE isn’t fair! Just ask the little people who played munchkins in the Wizard of OZ. Only you can’t because they’re dead! (I personally had nothing to do with their deaths and am assuming they all died of natural causes. Maybe.)

As a warning, nobody be mean to Brian for he knows not what he says. And P!nk? If you’re reading this, Brian is at Brian o Vretanos.

So here we go:

This week, I was sent an email with my assignment, should I choose to accept it. I clicked on the included link in the nick of time - just before the email self-destructed, also charring the other contents of my inbox.

---So far so good Brian. Made me giggle.--

My mission? Well, it was codenamed "P!nk". I'm not quite sure whether the exclamation mark is silent.

--No, it’s not silent Brian. The exclamation mark carries a strong !’m-gonna-rock-the-fuckin-house-bust-some-guts-and-take-no-prisoners sound.--

Although this song is called "Sober", I think it is probably best listened to accompanied by something intoxicating. I'd recommend either drinking alcohol (Scotch seems to work), or watching the video. The video is entertaining, well made, and tells a story. I watched some more of her videos, and I enjoyed them all.

--Good advice. Everything is better with booze.--

This particular one has views of a place, of someone talking on the "big white telephone", P!nk herself in various states of undress, some lesbian action which as far as I could make out (the pause button was very useful here) was supposed to be her with herself. If this all sounds a little bizarre, it makes complete sense when it's put together. Whoever is responsible for directing her videos does a very good job.

--I agree. This video was a great compliment to the haunting lyrics that to me meant she was trying to put her needs before anyone else’s.--

But what about the song itself? My first thought was that it was monotonous and that P!nk was far too concerned with projecting an attitude. The words are clear, understandable and fit together, but unfortunately they don't fit with the music. This is something that really irritates me, in any genre. Things like "Why do I feel this party's o-VER?", or "BARoken down". This is clearly part of her attitude.

--I agree with her wanting to portray Attitude since the lyrics say she is putting on a “I’m a strong bad ass and can take all the shit you throw at me” façade but the message is that she needs a way of dealing with difficult situations without having to resort to chemical dependency. And! "" o-VER?", or "BARoken down""". bri-AN!--

The other attitude thing is her voice itself. It's not a bad voice, but it's one of those that sounds like she has to smoke 20 or 30 cigarettes before each song. I always wonder how people that sing like that manage not to go hoarse. And whether they actually smoke that many, or just inhale a couple of those impossibly large executive cigars.

--Now now, Brian. No need to get mean. Some men find that kind of a voice hot ::cough cough::. It may not be worthy of an Italian opera but every word is filled with emotion nonetheless. I’d take her brand of singing any day over someone just yodeling in Italian. BRIAN!--

I also mentioned that I thought it was monotonous. I suspect that without the video I wouldn't have managed to listen to it once, let alone five or six times over. It just seems to go on and on with not a lot happening. This was my first thought. Afterwards I listened to some of her other offerings, and looked at as one part of a varied collection, it wasn't so bad. I don't know whether or not the ones I heard were all on the same album, though.

--To be fair to you, you are a dude. This song hits a lot of us women in the darkest corners of our soul. It’s like our own cry for help but the person we are appealing to is ourselves. I give you for evidence these lyrics: “When it's good, then it's good, it's so good, 'till it goes bad. Till you're trying to find the you that you once had” She is battling herself. Word.--

My conclusion? P!nk's songs and videos are entertaining and full of spirit and humour. This particular one on it's own seemed to lack these qualities, and were just full of attitude. And I didn't like her attitude.

--She does have a lot of humorous songs but this one wasn’t meant to be funny. It told about a woman with inner struggles who was just trying to find a way out. I guess the reason I love her music is because she doesn't put out the same old sappy love songs (as evidence by the one I'm dedicating to my Andy below). --


Upon reading Brian’s review, it is as I suspected. Men fear women who won’t make them omelets and rub their feet. BRIAN!

My next pick for him will be a MAN. If you guys have any suggestions as to who he should review, drop me an email so he doesn’t know ahead of time.


Babe, if you're reading this, this is our song (again my apologize to Mom R who has to witness our psycho relationship):


  1. NCS will love me for this, but:


    I just had to comment on one of the re-butt-als:

    No, it’s not silent Brian. The exclamation mark carries a strong !’m-gonna-rock-the-fuckin-house-bust-some-guts-and-take-no-prisoners sound.
    No, it's just pretent!ous.

    If that song's a reflection on womanhood, I'm very glad I'm not a woman...


  2. I LOVE Pink. She is strong and powerful. Bee you are right about her music hitting the darkest corners of our souls.

    Brian, it is nice to get a man's take on something men will NEVER understand.

  3. I don't know if I really like Pink's music, but I sure like looking at her.

  4. I loved the second video. Bee, you are a true romantic.

  5. Brian:
    You don't want to be a woman but don't you want to get in their psyche so that you could get into their... homes?

    Sometimes men make me so sad. If only they could FEEL ::shakes head sadly::.

    Yeah she has a certain, as the French say, I don't know what.

    jean knee:
    From one twisted sister to another, thank you.

    I haven't checked her tags. ;o)

  6. I love Pink too. Even when she swears...

  7. Maybe some classic album next? Cash at Folsom? BB King live?

    Incidentally, I have Pink singing "The Marriage of Figaro" in the background. Great voice, but I had no idea Mozart was fond of the words *!$%, *#!@, #!$* or !@(#Q!!#&$%^.

    Heh. But I do remember the "Light My Ass, Pigfucker" duet from Rigoletto. Who could forget that?

  8. I absolutely heart P!nk. She's the ONLY celebrity like figure I adore. :)

  9. ummm... I'm not a fan of Pink. Does this mean we can't be friends????

    Personally, I find a lot of the female pop singers to be contrived "strong women."

    Give me Shirley Manson of Garbage, give me Amanda Fucking Palmer of the Dresden Dolls!
    Those are strong women...

    My 2 cents and you didn't ask me for a penny!

    Ummm.... are you going to banish me now????

  10. Oh and I forgot to add that I love Brian's reviews... they're TEH AWESOME! and all that.

  11. Chris:

    Actually, Mozart was uncooth and foul-mouthed. He particularly loved talking about shit and related bodily functions - you should read (a modern edition of) his letters sometime...

  12. I Love Pink!!! Men don't like her...cause she could kick there ass!!! LOL

  13. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Pink. There was a guy in my apt. once who saw my Pink CD laying out and made fun of it. Rude.

  14. That was a good review. I'll have to check out the videos later.

  15. I love P!nk and that song...the whole album, really. I like to think her attitude is genuine, it's tracked through all of her albums, maturing with each one at least.

  16. Mary Moore:
    I especially love it when she swears.

    Awesome Chris! I guess there's hope for British men yet!


    You and I? We're buds cuz you know about stuff like "member" and saladitos.

    I love Shirley (although what's up with her in terminator) but I do think Pink is really a bad ass in real life. One of my favorite songs of hers is "Family Portrait" I swear it was as if she was growing up with me when she wrote that song. I don't think she's trying to pretend she is hard because a lot of her songs do reflect her sense of humor and also her weakness.

    We still cool.

    Yeah. I like the reviews too even though he's a big meany pants!

    Uncooth people are cool.

    Right on! ;o)

    Men are rude. Especially British men (except Chris Wood)(Well, I only know two so I guess I mean Brian)

    I hope you check out the one I dedicated to Andy.

    I agree. And in this CD she was going through the break up of her marriage.

  17. For a chick who LOVES herself some Metallica, Disturbed, etc... I, too love P!NK. Loved her from her first album, and would BLAST it in the car singing at the top of my lungs in the same stretch that I was tearing it up with some hardcore Metal.

    So yeah. P!NK's just badASS.

  18. I'm sorry that you like p!nk... You should read this review. It's pretty hilarious. And if you don't think so, you're probably dead inside.


  20. I love Just you and your hand tonight.

    Great song. makes me want to be a woman just to sing that song with empowerment.

  21. I have loved P!nk forever!!
    She has always been one of those kick ass chicks that has never changed or tried to be someone that she's not.
    Some of my favorites are:
    Don't Let Me Get Me
    Stupid Girls
    So What
    And now Sober. And I happen to love her voice.
    Does Brian feel that way about Stevie Nicks' voice?
    And Brian, you better watch out. If P!nk happens to read this, she might send a motorcycle flying through your window!
    She's done it before (in a video)!

  22. I do love to listen to P!nk, and love the videos, but I swear to heaven that if I hear 'Sober' on the radio when I get in the mini (as happens EVERY TIME I GET IN!), I will be forced to start actually being not sober.

  23. Larissa:
    Hell yeah!

    Lucky for my insides, I did find it funny. I also noticed the author has a bunch of links for Star Wars on the side bar and I like Star Wars so I'm still cool, right?

    You can be an honorary woman...

    I don' think Brian knows who Stevie Nicks is ;o)

    Yup. The radio stations always over play songs. One day, when I'm rich, I will buy myself one of those satellite radio thingies for my house.

  24. BRIAN!

    I don't enjoy Pink or eben P!nk.
    But I do like pink lemonade so I hope we can still be BFF.


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.