Brian reviews P!nk. And then goes into the witness protection and relocation program.

This week, I asked Brian to review P!nk. What he didn’t know is that I am one of the biggest P!nk fans ever to buy her CDs and put them on repeat. Since I disagree with some of his review, I have decided to interject my dissatisfaction of his comments IN RED. Is that fair? Probably not but LIFE isn’t fair! Just ask the little people who played munchkins in the Wizard of OZ. Only you can’t because they’re dead! (I personally had nothing to do with their deaths and am assuming they all died of natural causes. Maybe.)

As a warning, nobody be mean to Brian for he knows not what he says. And P!nk? If you’re reading this, Brian is at Brian o Vretanos.

So here we go:

This week, I was sent an email with my assignment, should I choose to accept it. I clicked on the included link in the nick of time - just before the email self-destructed, also charring the other contents of my inbox.

---So far so good Brian. Made me giggle.--

My mission? Well, it was codenamed "P!nk". I'm not quite sure whether the exclamation mark is silent.

--No, it’s not silent Brian. The exclamation mark carries a strong !’m-gonna-rock-the-fuckin-house-bust-some-guts-and-take-no-prisoners sound.--

Although this song is called "Sober", I think it is probably best listened to accompanied by something intoxicating. I'd recommend either drinking alcohol (Scotch seems to work), or watching the video. The video is entertaining, well made, and tells a story. I watched some more of her videos, and I enjoyed them all.

--Good advice. Everything is better with booze.--

This particular one has views of a place, of someone talking on the "big white telephone", P!nk herself in various states of undress, some lesbian action which as far as I could make out (the pause button was very useful here) was supposed to be her with herself. If this all sounds a little bizarre, it makes complete sense when it's put together. Whoever is responsible for directing her videos does a very good job.

--I agree. This video was a great compliment to the haunting lyrics that to me meant she was trying to put her needs before anyone else’s.--

But what about the song itself? My first thought was that it was monotonous and that P!nk was far too concerned with projecting an attitude. The words are clear, understandable and fit together, but unfortunately they don't fit with the music. This is something that really irritates me, in any genre. Things like "Why do I feel this party's o-VER?", or "BARoken down". This is clearly part of her attitude.

--I agree with her wanting to portray Attitude since the lyrics say she is putting on a “I’m a strong bad ass and can take all the shit you throw at me” façade but the message is that she needs a way of dealing with difficult situations without having to resort to chemical dependency. And! "" o-VER?", or "BARoken down""". bri-AN!--

The other attitude thing is her voice itself. It's not a bad voice, but it's one of those that sounds like she has to smoke 20 or 30 cigarettes before each song. I always wonder how people that sing like that manage not to go hoarse. And whether they actually smoke that many, or just inhale a couple of those impossibly large executive cigars.

--Now now, Brian. No need to get mean. Some men find that kind of a voice hot ::cough cough::. It may not be worthy of an Italian opera but every word is filled with emotion nonetheless. I’d take her brand of singing any day over someone just yodeling in Italian. BRIAN!--

I also mentioned that I thought it was monotonous. I suspect that without the video I wouldn't have managed to listen to it once, let alone five or six times over. It just seems to go on and on with not a lot happening. This was my first thought. Afterwards I listened to some of her other offerings, and looked at as one part of a varied collection, it wasn't so bad. I don't know whether or not the ones I heard were all on the same album, though.

--To be fair to you, you are a dude. This song hits a lot of us women in the darkest corners of our soul. It’s like our own cry for help but the person we are appealing to is ourselves. I give you for evidence these lyrics: “When it's good, then it's good, it's so good, 'till it goes bad. Till you're trying to find the you that you once had” She is battling herself. Word.--

My conclusion? P!nk's songs and videos are entertaining and full of spirit and humour. This particular one on it's own seemed to lack these qualities, and were just full of attitude. And I didn't like her attitude.

--She does have a lot of humorous songs but this one wasn’t meant to be funny. It told about a woman with inner struggles who was just trying to find a way out. I guess the reason I love her music is because she doesn't put out the same old sappy love songs (as evidence by the one I'm dedicating to my Andy below). --

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Upon reading Brian’s review, it is as I suspected. Men fear women who won’t make them omelets and rub their feet. BRIAN!

My next pick for him will be a MAN. If you guys have any suggestions as to who he should review, drop me an email so he doesn’t know ahead of time.

beesmusings[@]gmail.com


P.S.
Babe, if you're reading this, this is our song (again my apologize to Mom R who has to witness our psycho relationship):