I felt like regurgitated dog shit on Sunday (I wish I could say it was from partying over the weekend but sadly it wasn't) so I spent my day indoors watching a Deadliest Catch marathon.
I was bragging to Andy telling him how I could be a fisherwoman*.
How I could haul those pods and bait them, then drop them back in, count out the pinchy crabbers with their long ass legs. I could withstand 20 foot waves and freezing temperatures. I definitely would be an ace at breaking ice off the rails and winches (I think that's a real thing).
Andy told me to go for it since it's seasonal and I can make tons of money while still keeping my job at the Asylum. He'd like to be a stay-at-home-husband with curlers in his hair and just emerge from his dungeon to use the bathroom.
I was going to start packing up my stuff and look up plane tickets -I WAS PUMPED!!- but then I remembered I have rusty-old-shoulder-syndrome that prevents me lifting anything over 15 lbs...
DAMNIT!! I really wanted to go!!
Oh well, it's probably for the best considering I get hysterical when I'm on a boat and can't see land.
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Okay. Some of you are wondering what is going on with Humor-Blogs. You're currently thinking "Bee, I want you to be on top but I'm not sure how to get you there!"
Well my compadres, I appreciate your support but there are a couple of glitches in your plan to propel me to super-stardom (don't worry, I'm already there IN MY HEAD).
First, you have to sign up for Humor-Blogs.
What? You don't have a blog and/or you don't want to add your blog to H-B? Don't worry my friends, you don't have to. Just sign up and click on the "Just want to rate blogs" thingamajig then you'll be half way there!
Next, you have to click on the laughing face just beneath the title of my post once you're at Humor-Blogs.
THE LAUGHING FACE.
If you click on the smiling one, your point will NOT count. It has to be the LAUGHING one. If you click on the sad face, you will be detracting points from me and I've already threatened people, world wide, on the foolishness of inciting my wrath.
Are you confused? Me too!
Voting for me is entirely up to you, I won't ban you if you don't. ;o)
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*Spellcheck is telling me there is no such thing as a fisherwoman but they are suggesting WASHERWOMAN... it figures that spellcheck would be a MAN!
You and that fishing show. It's like my addiction to Clean House.
ReplyDeleteIf spellcheck (looks to be on a Mac none the less) suggests washerwoman, maybe you could take a toothbrush and clean the crabs up nicely.
ReplyDeleteyou're number one! you're number one! i tried to click your newest post but i got an error (what a shock).
ReplyDeletepersonally, i HATE the new set up. how can even tell when someone has a new post??!!!
p.s. i'll vote for you if you vote for me!!
I loathe the new system, to be honest. It is a lot of work for my readers and I refuse to even ask them to bother.
ReplyDeleteWasherwoman, pffft!!
I love me some Deadliest Catch. It's my porn when Dirtiest Jobs isn't new. I would go on one of those boats as a cook, and only if I got to make out with Edgar. And we were docked. Other than that, I'm willing to hit the seas!
ReplyDeleteSpellcheck doesn't have 'Google' in it, either. I mean, come on!
I've missed ya! Your garden is glorious. Don't be alarmed if you come home one day and find me sitting back there, sipping a cocktail.
Heh, maybe you'd be better suited as a washerwoman. I've never been a real big fishing fan.
ReplyDeleteHey can you shoot me an e-mail at blog.sully@gmail.com regarding how to put my feed on humor-blogs? You mentioned it in a comment on my blog and sadly I have to admit that I don't know how to do this.
Did you know I've been there? Yes, on the Bering Sea, in those huge waves. I even jumped from ship to ship during a big storm there. Let me just say...it's not that pleasant...
ReplyDeleteuh, I hate fishing.
ReplyDeleteI'll try that humor thing--I ain't making any promises you know how I am on the computer
As a big fan of mindless t.v., I must inform you that they call their traps "pots".
ReplyDeleteEven better for all washerwoman out there. ;)
I think it'd be more fun driving the boat. Actually, Andy would be well suited to that. There are no walls or cars in the sea...
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could just be in charge of manhandling the crabs once they're on the boat. And then train them to click on the smiley face for you on some little crabby computers. Can you teach me? I'm totally not digging this new system yet. Maybe it needs to grow on me.
ReplyDeleteBee
ReplyDeleteThe only thing you would be good for is bait.
Fuck is not on spell check either.
Can you bealive that?
It's the most used word in the English language.
I clicked for ya and it was truly effortless
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOkay I've been MIA from the commenting field but I have SO MUCH FAITH in YOU, Bee, that I gave this post a laughing face without even having read it. Good move on my part. :)
ReplyDeleteLast time I checked YOU were number ONE!!! Even ahead of that 15 minute Lunch guy. Yeah!
ReplyDeleteYes that's a "winch" but down here they pronounce it "wench". We have one on the boggin' truck. Oh boy, I'll proudly post a picture of THAT vehicle....NOT
ReplyDeleteI can't believe this! I have FINALLY found a Deadliest Catch Bosom Friend. I looooove that show!!
ReplyDeleteSee, I don't want to be cold myself, I just want to watch other people be cold!