Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Who sat on my banana???

Well crap! I woke up this morning thinking it was Thursday and it’s only Wednesday!

Is this what it’ll be like from now on? Me forgetting what day of the week my body is living in??

I already have to sing-song my morning routine so that I don’t forget the crucial items that make my day full of sunshine and smiley faces. (Now remember, I start at 8:00 AM.)(Also, blogger is being a weenie head and not letting me post pictures so imagine a big clock at the top -CLOCK!-)

7:45-
Contacts Contacts Mocha Tazz Mocha Tazz

Contacts to be able to see, take the dogs outside for the last time before I leave.

7:55 AM-
Cont- MOCHA BARKING!! Mocha Tazz Mocha Tazz Mocha Tazz

This reminds me to bring them back INSIDE so that they are not left out in the sun like the wild beasts they really are.

7:58 AM-
Mocha Tazz Mocha Tazz Mocha Tazz BANANA WATER LUNCH BANANA WATER BANANA WATER LUNCH

Bring the dogs in and get my breakfast/lunch

8:00 AM-
Mocha Tazz Mocha Tazz Mocha Tazz BANANA WATER LUNCH KEYS BANANA WATER KEYS

How many times have I locked myself out of the house thinking I had my keys? I’ll never TELL!

8:03 AM-
Mocha Tazz Mocha Tazz Mocha Tazz Turn on Chili Palmer’s Light BANANA WATER KEYS BANANA WATER KEYS PURSE PURSE

How many times have I walked out without my driver’s license because I forgot my purse? Let’s just say I must have 4 leaf clovers sprouting out of my ears because I've been lucky to evade the LONG ARM OF THE LAW!

8:05 AM-
BANANA WATER KEYS BANANA WATER KEYS PURSE PURSE KEYS KEYS CLOSE THE DOOR

I’ve only left the door open once…

8:08 AM-
KEYS KEYS PURSE PURSE KEYS KEYS CLOSE THE DOOR WORK WORK WORK WOR- Ooh what pretty flowers!

I tend to get distracted once I’m in my backyard and start checking this or that to make sure those damned squirrels are not killing my jalapeno pepper plants AND MY PETUNIAS! BASTARDS!

8:20 AM-
OH SHIT!! WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK

8:28 AM-
PUNCH IN PUNCH IN

Once I sit at my desk, I realize 2 things.

1) I forgot my LUNCH!
2) I forgot to put on my contacts and therefore am walking around the office with a busted up pair of eyeglasses I’ve been too lazy to superglue back to life!

Now, here I am, bouncing around the office with a skewed view of life.
(Picture a broken pair of stylish eye glasses without one of those ear holder thingamabobs)

I know what you’re thinking, it could be an improvement.

Luckily for me, there is a new mouth spray the FDA is testing for people with Alzheimer’s. They say it has the same effect as pot. A girl can only dream!

P.S.
You guys crack me up with your comments from Monday’s post! I’ll be posting some of the pranks I pull on her to get even.
You people are evil! And I wish you and I could meet for lunch!

LUNCH LUNCH LUNCH…


Humor-Blogs

20 comments:

  1. I'd meet you for lunch but apparently you are'nt having any

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  2. How did you drive to work without your contacts? I'm calling the law, or Milton- which would be worse?

    ant was aren't

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  3. I bet you don't struggle to remember when it's time to go home ;-)

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  4. I can't read this post without pictures. And now I want a banana.

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  5. jean knee:
    I was wearing the busted up pair of glasses while I got ready. Luckily, my hair covers the non-existing stems so you can't tell unless you notice they're sitting crooked on my face.

    Also, you can come over for lunch. Somebody brought some delu sandwiches. I had a piece and now my stomach hurts!

    I'm on to their plan to poison me... maybe I'm too late?

    Brian:
    I set my alarm to let me know in case I'm distracted. Last one to arrive FIRST one to leave.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Alice:
    Somebody squished my banana, do you still want it?

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  7. I do this when I am home alone or with just the kids, as I'm shuttling them outta here so I can go to work. The last thing I said was "TELEVISION!!" as we ran out the door, and they assured me it was off.

    Last night, I got home and was creeped the hell out because the TV was on, so they either didn't turn the TV off OR someone broke in, watched a little SciFi channel, then left (or are still hiding in the basement, waiting to ax me in my sleep, but I'm to chicken to go down and check).

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm a bit like you only a tad more quiet. I have a specific routine and if I didn't follow it to the letter I'd probably wind up at work naked, or even worse, with no lunch. LOL

    WAIT!!!! Did you remember to let the dogs back in?

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  9. ELEVENTH!!!!!!!!!!!
    Count the explanation points!!!!!!!!!!!

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  10. I kind of have a song like that to make it through the morning until the nanny gets here. It goes:
    Get up..coffee coffee coffee,
    Oh crap here come the kids,
    feed the kids, feed the kids,
    coffee,
    break up kids in fight,
    more coffee,
    don't kill the kids,
    OH LOOK THE NANNY'S HERE!!!!

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  11. I thought I was the only one who had to repeat stuff over and over in my head in order to remember it. I'm so glad to know you're with me.
    Even though it doesn't usually work.

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  12. I'm marketing edible keys. That way, if you forget your lunch, you can eat your key. Of course, you still have to be able to find it and you'll have to walk home... Seemed like a good idea at the time but like you, I got distracted...

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  13. It only gets worse.

    Last night I discovered that "Cheers" was canceled.

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  14. YEY!!

    AFter reading this post I am comforted to know that either

    a) I'm completely sane because I'm not the only one to sing myself through a day

    or

    b) I am completely insane but I have great company there

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  15. You mean it's not Thursday!?!

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  16. FADKOG:
    It was me. I stopped by and since you weren't home I decided to see make some popcorn and watch some SciFi. I thought I had covered all my tracks...

    Queen Goob:
    Yes but only because they ran in when I tried to escape, I mean leave.

    Tracy:
    I count 10 exclaims.
    Lucky!
    I don't have a nanny. :o{

    Justrandi:
    Nope, sometimes (like today) it doesn't work. But! At least I got to work! :o)

    VE:
    Distraction happens to the best of us. Why, just the other day

    Don:
    It was Kirsty Kristy Krusty Alley's fault! GO give her a donut!

    Chris:
    You and I? I think we're a little crazy! ;o)

    Musing:
    Sadly no, but tomorrow it will be! :o)

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  17. busted up pair of eyeglassesJuly 17, 2008 at 3:08 AM

    We are people too :(

    ReplyDelete
  18. If it makes you feel any better, it's Thursday now.

    ReplyDelete

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.