I couldn't sleep again. This is what you get at midnight.
I decided I'm going to start exercising again. I know what you're going to say "Why? You're perfect as you are!"
I know but... or should I say BUTT, I need to try something that will tire my body and hopefully let my brain sleep.
See, right now, I feel like this:
Who the hell styles Mrs. Pothead?? Green shoes and tacky earrings??
I honestly don't like comparing myself to a potato. While I love to eat them, they don't particularly strike me as the type of veggie one thinks to be sexy in nature. Don't look at me like that! You know what I mean!
The carrot however... it's lean, has a nice head of hair, looks like it can bitch slap a potato within seconds... Yup! That's my goal to slim down like a carrot!
Hmmm, maybe I'd reverse the look of this picture and have the pointy part as my head... but then I'd have a tail and no hair.Hold on while I search for a better picture.
After 25 minutes of searching for the perfect picture of a slim carrot with legs, I give up! You have failed me Internet and also made me hungry! But at least now I'm tired. What was wrong with Mrs. Pothead again? You know, besides her colorblindness and lack of fashion sense.
Humor-Blogs
Humor Bloggers dot com
(does one man conga line of exultation wearing a top hat and smoking a cigar the size of a walking stick!)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the plug Bee! Is that bunny a stuffed toy for a kid? One could get into serious trouble animating that!
ReplyDeleteDoes that meen you're not eating mommas flautas today. the logo thing is really cool.
ReplyDeleteThat picture of Carrot Top makes me lose my appetite, thus, instant healthy eating plan! Thanks for looking out for my health, Bee!
ReplyDeleteI've always preferred potatoes to carrots. For the usual reasons
ReplyDeleteChris:
ReplyDeleteThat's a mighty big cigar you've got there!
Bill:
NO, THANK YOU!! I've gotten many compliments!
Dan:
I said I was going to start excising, that's a different kind of torture... I'm not stoopit.
FADKOG:
You. Are. Welcome!
jean knee:
Because they remind you of me??
The gyms will be deserted at midnight, so it might not be such a bad idea.
ReplyDeleteIf exercising will make you sleep, then what you really want to do is exercise whilst sleeping...
Why is it that people will compare themselves to a fruit or vegetable?
ReplyDelete...You have a personality of a turnip.
...Grandma is shaped like a pear!
...Bill's an alcoholic, his face looks like a tomato.
...Sarah has so many freckles she looks like the green side of a strawberry.
...Orion wasn't hung like a cucumber... it was more like a string bean.
HEY!! Wait a minute!!
I'll try to sound modest about the cigar ...
ReplyDeleteBrian has a fantastic point. I've been trying to get myself to exercise in my sleep for years, so that I can doze off quite happily and wake up closer to a six pack.
I have no idea how to achieve this, sadly. Arse.
Chris, the answer is obvious.
ReplyDeleteBuy a mini fridge use it as a nightstand and put the six pack of beer in there.
It takes a special woman to find the answer...
I prefer to think of myself as butt-er. only not a nice slim stick of butter, a nice tub of it.
ReplyDeleteMy God that's inspired! I worship at your feet (makes grovelling noises of deification)
ReplyDeleteBrian:
ReplyDeleteBelieve me I do! I wake up sore from shoving a certain someone over to his side of the bed.
Orion:
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Bee:
You. YOU! Are one awesome blossom!
Sandy:
Butter is my secret ingredient to all veggies! :o)
Chris:
Just try not to drool, m'kay! ;op
Ugh...Carrot Top is just N-A-S-T-Y. And he needs to pull up those pants. Are you sure you want to be a carrot? How about a celery stalk? Or an asparagus spear?
ReplyDeleteBut she is smiling Bee. Mrs Potato head feels good about herself and her tacky earrings and her hideously huge mouth and that awful lipstick she wears...is that a hard hat she has on??
ReplyDeleteYikes.
Carrot Top looks like a pervert to me.
ReplyDeleteOr a flasher.
Something. There's something really weird going on with that dude.
There ya go. I've been molested by that horrid picture of carrot top for the second time. I'm never going to recover from that, thank you very much! You and JD at I do things are now responsible for the years of therapy it's going to take to recover from that.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about exercise here lately. Thinking would be the key word here :). Some day, I'll get off my ass and do something about it.
Mmmm... Rickey finds your new animated icon to be quite nice.
ReplyDeleteI actually worked on a carrot farm when I was in my early teens. You've no idea the shapes of carrots that came out of there!
ReplyDeleteplease remove that carrot top picture, I'm feeling nauseous
ReplyDeleteand then someone mentioned his pants were too low so I took another look. oh horrors, is that a g-string? please no
What the hell is up with Carrot Top?! I can't get it out of my head!!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh my!
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's shocking how dirty Google Image searches can be for seemingly average, innocuous things.
Try it for anything. I guarantee someone will make it dirty within a few pages.
Bee,
ReplyDeleteI hate to point this out to you but carrots have bad skin. And if you flipped it, you'd still have hair it would just be on your butt. What kind of life would that be?
Plus what kind of clothes would you wear? Not a lot of colors are flattering on bad, orange skin.