I HATE it when my conscious bites me in the ass!

You know how I’m always telling you what a cold Bit- uh… Witch I am? Wellp! Today I felt like pond scum. Why? you ask.

As you may remember (because I expect you to follow my day to day drama), Milton and I had a falling out. Things have been a little tense between us and today was her birthday.

As is customary in all offices here and on the planet Zoobar, there was a card that circulated to be signed and she was bringing a birthday cake. Yup! You, as the one who was shot out of someone’s hoo-haa, are responsible for bringing your own birthday cake.

Anyway, the card came to me and I signed it. Here’s where the part of me feeling like a used Q-Tip comes in.

We were in the kitchen, we had just sung happy birthday (lame), she blew out her candles, they gave her the card and Scarecrow said “Ooh, I can’t wait to see what Bianca wrote!”

Whaaaaat?? What I wrote?

Then everybody started sharing the things I’ve written on their cards while laughing. I could feel the cold sweat on my back, dreading their next question to Milton: “What did she write on yours?”

In my mind’s eye, I leapt in -s l o w - m o t i o n-, pulled the card out of Milton’s hands and wrote something worthy of all the attention my stupid, mindless, Happy Birthday wishes were getting. All this was imaginary because the reality was a little sad.

Milton scanned the card eagerly, her face crumpled in disappointment when she read “Happy Birthday! -Bianca”

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck! I hate feeling sorry for people! I just want to hate them and poke their voodoo dolls full of holes while cackling madly!

I award myself the prize of douche bag of the year!

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On a friendly blogging note.

If you have a blog and LOVE Music. You love it so much you’d like to share it with the people who click on your blog and think you found a solution by making it blare once we go on it… well my friends. STOP IT!

I know it’s your blog and I have no control over it but I kinda do. You have to understand that I do ALL MOST A LOT? SOME of my blog stalking in between mental relapses while at work.
If I click on your blog and Nelly comes on singing “Its getting hot in here/so take off all your clothes” (youtube link) comes on, I will get a few puzzled glances from the gray hairs that sit across from me.

They don’t listen to young people’s music (if you’re still listening to this song you have issues since it’s at least 6 years old!)(not that I want to insult your taste in music… okay, I do.) but they can make out the lyrics and I don’t need more curious trifocal looks coming my way.

Unless you have Frank Sinatra, then we're golden... just a suggestion!
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--I might remove that last part of my post since it sounds bossy but we’ll see how I feel later.

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