Friday, August 15, 2008

Blatant self promotion of me and my buds. But mostly me.

You know how you're sometimes sitting in front of your computer, in your torn undies (don't lie, I can see you), wondering where you could go to find a small collection of goofy people without having to see picture after picture of these clowns?
Obama and the other dude

Cox & Forkum Editorial Cartoons

You think to yourself that there should be an easier way than having to sift through website after website?

Well, your wishes made their way to IDAHO! I would like to present a new website from the Creator/Director/Founder of The Offended Blogger:
WE BLOG FUNNYThe hot and fantabulous Chelle B (pictured here) has given some of us jokers the opportunity (practically begged us) to be in her über exclusive club.

Okay, this is how it really went down. (For me anyway.)

[Bee heads over to the hilariously funny Blog, The Offended Blogger and sees she is starting a website. These conversations all happened via g-mail.]

Bee: crying (:'o{
Chelle B! I thought we was buds?? Please please please can I be added to your awesome new website Humor Bloggers dot com??

Chelle B:
I don't know Bee, you have a bad rep. I heard from some people at Humor-Blogs that you don't play well with others and can be quite bitchy when you don't get your way.

Bee: [crossing fingers]
But I'LL BE COOL! I promise to behave! I really do! Nobody will complain about me laughing at their weird hats (again)!

Chelle B:
Can you bring the fun--?

I am funkier than roadkill formerly-known-as-skunk after sitting in the Alabama sun for 3 days. I CAN be funky! I WILL BE FUNKY!!

Chelle B: [rolls eyes]
I was going to say FUNNY.

Bee: [thinks]
Oh. Ummmm, I know a ton of knock knock jokes my niece told me... "what did the grape say when the elephant smelled-- NO! SAT on it? Can I have some cheese?" BWAHAHAHAHA!

Chelle B:
That wasn't a knock knock joke and the punchline is "It let out a little whine"

Who did?

Chelle B:

That's just silly! EVERYBODY knows elephants don't drink WINE! They like peanuts. I said PEA-NUTS!

Chelle B:
Stop. Here is the question, WHAT will YOU do for ME??

After 20 bottles of tequila, 60 tacos (AUTHENTIC-made by my mommy's angelic hands), and 30 cases of CORONA (the real Mexican beer, don't let those Dos Equis dudes fool you), she agreed to have me as a member but it seems I'm on thin ice so let's hope my ego and/or booty, don't get any bigger.

What does this mean for you? Well, you know how much I love you and like to expand your horizons right? This is your chance to go over and see, FIRST HAND, why the good lord graced our lives with kick-to-the-crotch humor.

Thanks to Chelle B's knew website, I discovered The Blah-Blahs and the Yada-Yadas, Tiggyblog along with Dirty Shanks and... wow! I just realized how creative they were with their blog names.

You know what the best part is? It's run by a WOMAN!!

Uh, no offense to Diesel, okay Diesel? Because you know I don't want to be sent to the back of the line at H-B and be #1452. I'm short. I need to be placed towards the front of the line or else I miss everything.

Like the time Andy and I went to see "Grease" for Valentine's Day and this giant, with a head the size of a wrecking ball, sat in front of me and when Andy and I switched seats, so did he because he's an evil bastard who likes to make short, innocent women suffer!!! ... ... Where was I? Ah yes. Humor Bloggers dot com.

I think you should go check it out. There's is no pressure of voting for who you think is the bestest kisser or whose thong is tighter or who you think has three nipples. I usually stay out of the competition because A) I'd always win and B) nobody ever pops a mint first.

I think all the Booze* I sent Chelle B gave me a couple of extra kiss up points because, guess who is the Spot Lit Blog of the week? I'll give you a hint, it starts with B and ends ee'smusings.

So... yeah. Head over there and check out some cool new peeps.

*Why do I always capitalize the word Booze?? Respect I guess.

On a serious note.

--I just want to say that your comments crack me up! Some of you, MOST OF YOU, are as demented as I am and I love it! I've been having some issues with my hands, by the time I come home from work they're FUCKED UP (due to arthritis because of the stupid Brown's Chicken place and many projects I'm working on because of an absent in the brain assistant). Once I get better I'll start commenting on your comments again but I wanted you to know that I treasure every comment like if they were little jewels given to me by Brad Pitt himself. Brad. Pitt. Himself.


  1. OMG!! FIRST!!

    Do the kids still do that?

    You make me smile and giggle all the time, Bee. Like we were sitting in the back of class making fun of the teacher, and damn right we'd be making fun of the teacher.

    And then I'd fail the class, and my Mom would be all, "You need to separate from that Bee person," but I would tell her to step off. Because I need to giggle, Bee. I. NEED. TO. GIGGLE.

    I also need to see what it would take to get a little jewel from Brad Pitt, too.

  2. OMG!! FIRST!!

    Do the kids still do that?

    You make me smile and giggle all the time, Bee. Like we were sitting in the back of class making fun of the teacher, and damn right we'd be making fun of the teacher.

    And then I'd fail the class, and my Mom would be all, "You need to separate from that Bee person," but I would tell her to step off. Because I need to giggle, Bee. I. NEED. TO. GIGGLE.

    I also need to see what it would take to get a little jewel from Brad Pitt, too.

  3. WHAT THE HELL!!???


    Not to be confused with a giggle.

    Also, why the hell am I up there with two comments?! I didn't get finger tourette's and hit the 'publish' button twice!

  4. Brad Pitt has never managed to be first on your blog yet...

    I think you should invest in a periscope.

  5. FADKOG:

    If I'd known you were about to post first, I'd have typed "FIRST" even quicker, just to be sure ;-)

    Was that GRRRRRRRR from the Dog?

  6. Crap. I was reading your blog and I had thought of all of these witty and funny but then I got to the comment section and it left me.

    I guess you get no wittiness from me today. Sorry Bee. It's early and I'm still tired.

  7. I will tell you one thing, I will be sitting in the back of the class with you and FADKOG! I will NOT be left out of the cool kids!

    And from experience, I suggest that we get Brian to sit with us so that when the teacher unexpectedly calls on us, he can save us from trouble.

    Look at me, always thinking! The drugs in my younger years and then all them babies in my later years really didn't take all of my brain cells.

  8. I wouldn't even need jewels from Brad Pitt..just him.

  9. I think it's actually illegal in NM to drink anything other than Corona. But I prefer dark beer, so I have to drink in the closet.

  10. hey bee,

    i'm confused - she basically took her favorite 50 blogs from humor-blogs and made another site?


    Maybe I'll start my own humor blogs-site with only 25, umm, there.

    rock on,


  11. Mine went down like this;

    damon- new site huh?

    chelle- yep.

    damon- I'm in?

    chelle- cool, but I'm warning everyone, Bee is in too.

    damon- will she be at the meet and greet on 8/15?

    chelle- yeah, we're wheeling her in on a hand cart, hannibal lectre style. insurance regulations, ya know.

    damon- cool.

  12. Geez- you gave Chelle Corona and tacos...

    I sent her pierogies and Pittsburgh micro-brews...

    this woman is NOT gonna fit in that little pin-up-girl boustiere anymore, let me tell you!

    She's going to SERIOUSLY be packing on the pounds from all the bribes.

  13. okay, I'm a little distracted. did you say Brad's jewels? cuz his family jewels (and I'm not talking about his million kids) can visit me ANYTIME.

  14. FIRST!!

    Oh, heh, sorry the liquor hasn't worn off yet.

    Yep, that is pretty much how it went down, except you forgot to mention that you cleaned all of my bathrooms and clipped my toenails.

    And paid me $50 for the privilege.

    Other than that.. ;)

  15. If Rickey may quote the emininently quotable X-Men: "There's a war brewing... you sure you're on the right side?"

  16. Rickey, I am the right side. ;op

  17. Now you know what a humor blogger rebel I am. I took my blog off Diesel's. I commend him for running it but I didn't like the pimping method and I'm not real keen on the new method either. I'm beginning to wonder if there is any method that is truly fair. He challenged me once to suggest a fair method and I never responded. Ok, I'm lazy that way, but if you can't step up with a solution, don't step up at all. Of course, now I'm gonna have to go over to Chelle's site with a skeptical eye and look for myself.

    Meanwhile....LAST! Yep, that's right....I'M LAST. And don't even THINK about commenting after me you do gooders! mu ha ha ha

  18. @ VE Hehe, my site is quite the opposite of humor-blogs, in fact, there is no competing allowed!!

    I hate competing, I always feel bad for the losers.

    Only group hugs and passing the peace pipe at I'll bring the sticky "incense". :P

  19. See, there you went and commented after me. Ok...good to know its not some competition things and not some self promotion thingy if you could just keep Bee in line...

  20. I'm confused too ,but that's OK, I'm always confused these days. I don't even think I am a humour blogger, not really.

    *sniffles and slinks off*

  21. LAST!!!

    Beeeeeeeeee, I have so many friends already. What are you trying to do?!?!? Now I have to go check out all these new blogs.

    I'm so bad I've started dreaming about bloggers I frequent.

    It's like a scary movie.

    (that was mean, by the way, I'm now aviading looking at the TV between commercials...AAHHHHH!)

  22. and that damn movie you were talking about was FILMED IN MY HOME TOWN!

  23. I want to vouch for you Bee.
    You have never made fun of SHG hats.

    Where do I sign the affidavit?

  24. All I want to say is that I kept trying to vote for you and H-B would be all like "Yeah yeah we get it, you like Bee but try voting for someone else..."
    Whatever yo!

  25. I created an account at Humor Blogs.....JUST FOR YOU!!!

    I hope this shows you how much I care.

    Now hand me that beer you promised!

  26. The blogs are great and the added comment commentary is fabulous. I love coming here. ~Slinks off to explore the new not humor blogs~

  27. ...60 tacos (AUTHENTIC-made by my mommy's angelic hands)...

    Hey, I'm surprised that worked. Cos I know Chelle has her own supplier, who she is extremely fond of.

    It has been well documented that Jesus is her favorite taco guy. So I guess she picked ur blog cos she loves it. ;)


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