I’ve noticed something about myself… I noticed I have issues starting conversations/e-mails/posts. I never know how to start a topic so I’ll just sit there looking at the screen or, in some unlucky people’s cases, their faces, wondering how I can begin talking about something without sounding like I’m waiting for them to finish speaking.
A lot of my posts start with “So…” as evidence above. My e-mails start with “Wzup??” or “hey!” and my live people on people convos start like this “Yeeeeaaah. So, I was thinking…” How lame am I?? Don't I sound like an uneducated goober?? You’d figure that at the grand old age of 35, I would have learned to master interaction with people from my same species! I mean, I talk to my car, my plants and the dogs with an ease that might suggest a mental imbalance but when it comes to people… ::shrug::
I guess it could be worse, I out grew the phase where my greetings were along the lines of “WHADDUP??” or “What’s goin’ on you bugly bastard??”
Anyway, the real reason for this post was to say something about Pride and Prejudice.
I happened to watch it this weekend, not on purpose mind you, it just happened to be on while I was comfortably sitting on the couch with the remote control miles and miles away from my little hands. I tried calling for help but Andy was too busy cackling evilly in the other room. I would have gotten up to get it but it was 11pm and I was exhausted after having walked for 6 hours and gotten sunburned in places the sun knows I’m powerless to protect. MY SCALP. I guess I could have worn a hat but I just look too good in them. I’d feel like I was bragging.
There I was, helpless. I try not to over educate my brain by reading classic novels or watching movies based on them but I had no choice on that sad Saturday night.
I'm surprised to say I liked it. This was the version with Keira Knightly and some guy. At first I didn’t think him to be attractive but there was this scene where it was raining and he was drenched and all I could think was “Yum-O!” but then he dried up and went back to being Plain John. Still, I’d consider him if I had a bucket of water handy at all times.
In that same rainy scene, there was a moment were he’s professing his love and she’s calling him a jag but you could feel the magnetic pull their lips had on each other- which they resisted. I think that was when I decided I liked the movie. Wet hot guy and a non kissing scene.
A few weeks ago, I watched Roman Holiday. I know the right thing to say is “Ooh! Audrey Hepurn and Gregory Peck! Classic!”
That whole thing about a lighter/camera had me and Andy looking at each other in a way two people in sync with each other’s thoughts has “What kind of bull crap is that??”.
How could they be IN LOVE if they’d only known each other for such a short period of time?? Then at the end, they just shake hands? Talk about a waste of an hour and a half! If the people involved with this movie weren’t already dead, I’d go over there and make them do an alternate ending.
This is how it would go:
Dude, I got some pics of that princess while she was in the bath! How much do you think they’ll go for?
Oh, at least 500 bucks. Don’t do anything with them yet. We’ll see if I can blackmail her into marrying me. Why take a golden egg when I can marry the goose?
Yeah! Then you can appoint me head of espionage! Me and my Zippo lighter will take naked pictures of tons of hotties!
Now we’re at the scene where she wants to meet the reporters. GP slips her the naked pics telling her there’s more where that came from and she’ll have to marry him if he knows what’s good for her (this is old people speak).
And they live happily ever after.
What? That’s how Andy got ME to marry HIM!
To all you Internet Explorer haters and Godzilla lovers, I am trying to ween myself off of IE but I find it harder than when I stopped doing crack. Just kidding. I never did crack but I'm sure there's a lot of twitching involved. Help me jeebus!