Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Please help us Dr. Phony Phil!

Some of ya'll have one at home.
Some of ya'll are one or were one.
Mine is named Andy and he's a man.
Also known as my husband.
Now, if you have any doubt as to how much I'm "in like" with him, let me tell you I would fight just about anyone who tried to take him away from me, woman, man, beast, alien, robot... they'd have to pry him from my rigor-mortised hand. (graphic enough for you?)

There are occasion when I wonder if we are truly meant to be... Yes, I do have those awful thoughts every once in a while! These thoughts circle in my little head because of very serious issues in our relationship.

Oh boy! How do I start this [eye nervously twitching!]
Okay here goes...!
He leaves it on the counter by the sink!
Why does he torment me so when we'd just had a discussion about it last week???

Exhibit A: This is nothing since I'd already cleared off the counter yesterday. The inventory then was 8 cans of soda 3 water bottles, 2 disposable plates and a couple of disposal cups!
Walk with me while I show you how far the bins are.
There's the sink.

Here is the bin.
If you look closely you'll see the 2 areas in question are about 3 big man steps away from each other! I say 3 cuz it was 5 short woman steps away for me.

This is why men say we nag. They don't listen, we ask again nicely, they don't listen again, we ask again a little bit more forcefully! The next time they don't listen, we screech and this works for what? About a month, 3 weeks? ::GROAN!::
Well, at least he doesn't beat me and buys me shoes! Those are positives right? ;o)
On a totally different subject, I found this beer at Jewels (supermarket). The name of the beer (ale whatever!) is Dead Guy Ale. Upon doing research for you guys, I found out it was made special for November 1st All Souls Day 1990.


  1. [Don't take this too seriously, please!]

    I do have one suggestion to save you time, effort and stress. Stop nagging. You've just said it doesn't work, so why keep doing it?

    I used to get nagged, and it didn't work with me either. You can't change habits that way.

    In fact, I still haven't changed. The kitchen is full of dirty dishes as I type this...

  2. LOL! I would typically agree with Brian as my oh-so-reasonable brain would agree.

    Except I'm a woman and I agree. It is their own damn fault for not listening. lol.

    I would take the garbage can and put it ON the counter for a few days. Every time he moves it back..stick it back up there. Then after a day or two slowly start to move it towards the proper place. Until in two weeks time you have "trained" him to follow the can ;-)

    LMAO. It was a thought ;-)

  3. brian:
    My buddy, my pal… I take everything you say to me seriously!
    Why would you want me to disregard your comment when I read the following:

    “Bee, I, as a man, apologize for all things we’ve done to you in the past, present and future. You are right as always and I will try to change for the good of humanity”

    Why thank you Brian, so good of you to say so.

    I agree with Brain too.

  4. it's true that men are unable to actually hear or register nagging.

    but sometimes if you don't do it you feel like you are going to explode and if that happened Andy would not clean your guts up or probably even notice for a week .

    I like Chris' idea

  5. Yes. My point was that as a Woman...I have no oh-so-reasonable brain. LMAO.

    And I think it was very nice of Brian to leave that comment. Only a real man can apologize like that. LOL. Only he should have done it publicly ;-)

  6. I think guys like us to nag...

    Personally I HATE NAGGING. I married an adult so act like one!!

    I always ask nicely, example:

    Honey, can you do me a favor and when you take your socks off fling them to the open hamper, please?

    He says: Sure

    He actually jsut takes them off and leaves them and the freaking floor!!!!

    A couple of days later of the d@med socks piling up, cause he takes them off in the same place!

    Me: Babe, can you pick that pile up please? and would you mind when you take your socks off just toss them in the open hamper?

    Him: Sure...

    He actaully keeps piling the freaking things on the floor!!!

    Days later:

    Dude, what the hell?!?!?! Why are htose freaking socks still on the floor!!!!!!!

    Him: Huh?

    Me: Did I not ask you to please put them in the hamper???

    Him: Why are you yelling? Why are you sooo upset they are just socks?

    Me: Because I asked you nicely and they are stillthere!!! YOu know what forget it!!!

    I walk away, next time I do laundry the socks disapear :) Problem solved, he has no more socks to pile on the floor.

    Moral of the story is I can't change him, I know. But I can throw his sh!t away. :)

  7. Anonymous - LOL! See, I tried something similar...I just stopped matching his socks. But then I had a crabby arse husband coming down the stairs, late for work and (while I am trying to get two kids to the bus on time while making breakfast for a hungry 2yr. old, while packing his lunch and making his breakfast) he will say -- I don't have any socks. Can you find me a pair??


    Sure. 'Cause you forgot where the mismatch sock bag was right?

    Every time mine gets outta line I say:

    “Mom! You better clean and iron my clothes and no back talk!”

    HAHAHAHAHA! just kidding no hate mail please! ‡o)

    men can list things about women too but we choose to take the high rode and love you for who you are. ‡o)

  9. OMG. You did NOT just say that!

    Seriously. Seriously? Seriously?!

    I would totally go off about that comment, but it's not my blog and I think it would be rude to go ballistic based on my own little experiences in this department.


  10. I'm a lover not a fighter.
    But you asked for it:

    Pet Peeves:
    1) Honey do you like this outfit? You do? Well I think I look fat so I'm going to change!
    2) You don't have to call me when you get home. Why didn't you call me when you got home??
    3) Do you think she's pretty? What?? What's so pretty about her?? What are you saying? That you'd do her?? You're such a jerk!
    4) I hope I don't look like my mom when I'm her age! What do you mean "me too"?!
    5) Go ahead and watch the football game, I'll just read my book and listen to my iPod. (Then proceed to ask 1,000 questions)

    Do I have to go on?

  11. HA!

    1) If you guys actually paid attention when we asked you a question ...we would trust you more and not have to change.

    2)We ask why you didn't call, because when we told you that you didn't have to call, you said something along the lines of "I know I don't have to, but I will" or as you were getting off phone/walking away/etc. you said " Okay, talk to you tonight". just said you would call.

    3) If you aren't smart enough to figure out the answer is either a) Yes, she's okay. but not nearly as pretty as you. or b) No. Then you deserve to be in trouble.

    4) Okay. If you answer 'Me too'....again...DUH.

    5) It's called a DVR. It has a Pause Button. Use it.

  12. My point is we don’t play mind games.
    1) If I say “I like your outfit” I mean it.

    2) If you say don’t call me when you get home, I think you mean it too. I made the mistake of calling her one time after I got reemed for not calling then I got reemed for waking her up!

    3) If I answer “she’s okay” or “she’s ugly” I’m accused of being a liar and hiding the fact that I think she’s pretty. another can of worms opens up.

    4) What would be the appropriate answer? “Why? You’re mom looks fine” “mhsnah” (sympathetic mumbling) no, none of these work because you expect an answer so what would be the correct thing to say?

    5) I don’t have a DVR. I made the mistake of asking a question while she was reading some book, “Hon, I’m going to pick up food, what do you want me to bring you?” response: “Can’t you see I’m reading?? Just bring me whatever!” then she’s not satisfied with the food I bring. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, you don’t need to pause a book right? You can just hold your place answer my question then continue reading.
    I’m such a bad guy for wanting to feed her.

    I’m off to class but I’m interested in reading opinions.

  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

  14. Well, I guess I can Only answer for myself, and I'm honestly not to high maintenance in that way :-)

    1) If you look at it for less than 5 seconds. We can't believe you.

    2) Just send a text next time telling her you're home and give you a call if she has time.

    3)Better to be a liar than a 'Mind Cheater' ;-) (besides, unless she's the type to be okay with you looking, it's safer to lie)

    4) Always better to say "Why? Your mom looks fine" than diss the mom. No matter how much we hate our mother.

    5) You can't get mad at us for acting the exact same way you do! Our book is just as important to us as who just committed that holding penalty in football :-)

    Tee Hee. I haven't had a debate like this in a long time. Poor Bee. She's gonna kick our arse for high jacking her blog.

  15. Maybe you should consider dating a different type of woman?

    Not every girl out there is how you so delicately described...

  16. Quick lesson on women:

    1) Why would a girl ask a guy if he likes her outfit? I wouldn't trust their answer. My husband doesn't care if I am wearing a dress or shorts, he will tell me I look great regardless. I trust what I see in the mirror.

    I think women ask that when they are fishing for a comment, so always say "You look beautiful".

    2) You don't have to call me when you get home, means “You don't have to call me”. I will probably turn my ringer off anyway, so either way if you call or not it won’t wake me up.

    3) Why would a girl ask that??? Like seriously? We know when a girl is hot and if we think she is hot then of course a guy thinks she's hot. You can put a short skirt on a mop and guys think it's hot.

    Maybe you can turn around and ask her "Do you think she's hot?" or "Why?" or "Not as Hot as you" cause again, she is probably fishing for a complement.

    4) Mom comment. Never say "Me Too". That's just wrong... She again is fishing for a complement, so maybe "You are beautiful now and I know you will be beautiful then".

    5) Don't ask her ANY questions if you are not prepared to commit to a full conversation.

    Moral of the story is that maybe you should pay her more attention. Maybe she feels she has to ask these things because she is fishing for compliments or attention.

  17. Oh my. Now I feel all bad and like everyone is ganging up on Big Daddy and his girl :-(

    I sooo didn't mean for that to happen :-( I was just playing!

  18. The examples I gave were specific to my situation but I know from speaking to my friends that there are allot of women who demand unreasonable things.

    The only one of you I know is Bee, who I admire for being one kick ass chick, and I know she posted this more for comical reasons than real ones but I can't believe you can't see my point of view.

    I wish your significant others could give examples on situations were they thought an issue was being treated as bigger than it should be.

    I agree with anonymous and the sock thing. I agree with Bee and the garbage thing all I want is for you to admit to having expectations that are sometimes too high.

    I give my girlfriend compliments all the time. When we plan to do something she has my undivided attention. If it’s a day we’re relaxing I don’t feel like I should be at her beck and call or she at mine. I hope Bee can back me on this, I’m an intelligent male who is well mannered and courteous not only to my girlfriend but to everyone. I try not to jump to conclusions and am willing to listen to both sides of an argument before forming an opinion.

    I feel like posting my resume! Sorry Bee. ‡o)

  19. I totally agree that we demand unreasonable things! My Prince Charming could give you oodles of examples :-D It admit it.

    I was just playing and in no way was trying to say that you aren't a great guy, etc.

    I think both guys and girls can be most unreasonable at times and it's take a lot of years (11 to be exact) for my hubby and I to be able to get past some of this or call each other out on it when it does happen.

    If any of what I said was taken as seriously..please don't! I was completely playing and just being sassy.

    As they say...Men are from mars and Women are from Venus :-)


  20. Holy Graham Crackers!!!
    So so young. :o)
    In all honesty I can agree and disagree with you.
    We, as woman, do play mind games. Yes we do. Yes we do.
    We have to admit to it. I use as an example when I got my haircut this Saturday. Andy said he liked it and I responded by being sarcastic. But if he wouldn’t have said anything about it I probably would have been upset. [maybe]

    I would never ask Andy how something looks on me because I know he’ll lie and say I look fine. If out of the blue he were to say to me “I don’t like how that looks” then I would change cuz it’s rare that I get input from him. I would thank him and not get mad.

    I would never ask Andy if he thinks a real life girl (as opposed to fake movie/rock stars) is pretty because I am the super jealous type. Any answer he gave would be wrong and make me commit a double homicide, therefore the question would never be asked. So yeah, I agree she was being unreasonable with that question.

    I get irritated when Andy bothers me when I’m surfing the big internet webisphere, watching my stories, reading about vampires or on the phone. Yes, I do get upset and get all snarky but so does he. The difference is I know when not to bother him.

    Saying the mom thing is a lose-lose situation even if you respond what Nancy said. Because I’m me, I would have asked “What don’t you like about your mom?” then diverted the conversation to a safer topic like ring worms.

    Her snapping at you for asking what she wanted to eat was uncalled for but I know I’ve done it too, she also should not have been displeased with your choice of food if she didn’t want to give you 2 seconds to answer your question.

    Because I know what a sweetie you really are, I don’t think you need to give your gal more attention. In fact I think it’s the opposite. She has to appreciate what she has.

    Men and women will never see eye to eye but that’s part of the fun and it keeps us on our toes, as long as it’s not over the line stuff or psychotic behavior.
    There are a million things about Andy that irritate me and there are probably 3 Billion things about me that irritate him. Because I think he’s my soul-mate on potato bread, what we have to do is compromise. I have to accept he won’t change, he has to accept I won’t stop getting angry. Our lives will be filled with nitpicking arguments till the day one of us has their last puffy cheeked breath! And even then we’ll imaginary fight with each other. Good Times!
    When we all learn this valuable lesson, then and only then will we all live in harmony.

    Dr. Bee, out!

  21. Wow! That was long enough to be another post!!!


  22. Bee - Exactly ;-) Sorry to start trouble. LOL.

  23. I'm not trying to bust on your BD.

    Disclaimer: There are my thoughts (Nancy27) and not been approved or accepted by Bee’s Musings or any member of the Bee’s Musings team.

    I think that women are dumb for asking certain questions and expecting a specific answer from a guy. Of course guys are not going to answer exactly what I want to hear. So I know right off the bat this will end up in an argument and that's not fair to the poor guy. I stopped asking those kinds of questions a loooooong time ago.

    As far as expectations: I don’t think my expectations of my husband are that high or out of his reach. Whether he agrees or not that’s a different story. We come from different backgrounds and we simply see things different. A cup left on the table over night is a big deal to me but to him it’s not. I expect him to pick it up and put it in the sink when he is done with it and he expects me to either pick it up for him or have the cleaning fairy pick it up when he is not home.

    I think that relationships be it dating or marriage are an on going changing and improvement process. The key is to pick your battles and both be willing to try to work things out and come up with a better way of doing things.

  24. I like talking about ring worms too

  25. I didn't think anybody was attacking me. We’re all having a nice civil discussion about things that we’ve experienced.
    I know the issues you have are with your significant others and not with me. I was just trying to point out it's not just us that are trouble makers ;o)
    I agree that you should be able to work things out in a relationship and if you're constantly unhappy with the way things are, the problem is more serious.

    So basically we should agree not to lump each other with our genders. I won’t say all women are this and you won’t say all men are that… deal?

    Bee’s right, let’s talk about ring worms.

  26. Nancy, no need to disclaimer anything since I don't think you said anything bad.

    Now for a little song in my raspy voice.

    ♪♫♪♫ He roller-coaster, he got early warning
    He got muddy water, he one mojo filter
    He say "One and one and one is three"
    Got to be good-looking cos he's so hard to see
    Come together right now over me

    Come together
    Yeah come together
    Yeah come together
    Yeah come together
    Yeah come together
    Yeah come together
    Yeah come together
    Yeah oh
    Come together
    Yeah come together

  27. How in the world did you get it to work for three weeks to a month? I can't even make it work for like an hour!
    Also, I like your kitchen counters. (I'm totally not trying to sound psycho even though I may be..sorry)
    Anyhoo...I don't want to burst your bubble or anything here but I think that you two may just have to stay together because I've never heard of divorce on the grounds of "non-commital trash ejection."

  28. did you all realize that ring worms are actually a funji and not worms at all?

  29. TRACY:
    Thank you and "non-commital trash ejection." bwahahaha!

    jean knee:
    Get the 'eff outta here! Really, they're not worms?

  30. Hey! I love that song!

    Anyway, I know it's annoying, but I always think that if garbage/socks/whatever is all you have to worry about, you've got it pretty good. Also, I'm the culprit of messiness too, so I can't say anything- people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...

  31. chris:
    The great thing about my level of insanity is that I never take my life too seriously.

    I know how good I have it with my hubs in that he has his quirks but he doesn't drink more than one beer, I've rarely seen him drunk. He no longer smokes. He helps me around the house and will bake (although he won't admit to it freely) does laundry and the grocery shopping. He's also a hottie!

    He is knowledgeable in all things construction related besides being an electrician, he knows about plumbing, landscaping, carpentry etc. so we save tons of money on home repairs.

    I hit the jackpot of men. But bless his little tushie, he still irritates me and I him. The joys of being married till death do us part...

    Babe, if you're reading this, this Buds for you!

  32. how dare you brag like that, isn't this post about that as* wipe Dr. Phil?

  33. jean knee, if I had any doubts about our friendship you just cemented it with that comment!

  34. no shinola, every time I hear his whiny, I'm the man voice, I want to crush his face under my nazi storm trooper boots- if I had any, which I don't

  35. chris (cat):
    Also yup cool song! I can't even tell you how stupid I become when I am the Walrus starts on my iPod. People look away in embarrassment!

    jean knee:
    When he says "what is wrong with you?" I just want to hit the nearest wall!

  36. Even though I work as hard as Papi outside the home he still leaves his crap everywhere too. :( The kicker is how pissed he gets when I finally pick up his piles of clothes to wash them and he says he had important papers in the pocket. Or when I clear the stacks of stuff off his desk and he harangues me about how he can't find anything.

    Dr. Laura would tell us to be grateful that we have nice men and that we should be happy.....HAPPY! to clean up after them because we'd be sorry if they were gone.

    Sometimes Dr. Laura bites.

  37. Don't be ashamed about I Am The Walrus- I have "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds." That song makes even less sense.

    Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain
    Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies,
    Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers,
    That grow so incredibly high.

    Newspaper taxis appear on the shore,
    Waiting to take you away.
    Climb in the back with your head in the clouds,
    And you're gone.



Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.