Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Until we meet again.

Okay soooooo... this is my last post of the week since tomorrow I will be in the finals of preparing Tom (or Gina, let's not be gender biased in these Holiday times) the Turkey and his/her delicious sides. I'll have my family, whom I love more than goose fat, over for some giving of thanks!

Well I do love them more than goose fat you guys, no need to smirk! And just for you lucky peeps that are coming to Shangrila Bee n Andy's, I have a special treat! We bought a brand-spankin-new toilet seat. Your tushies will be so pampered!

Those who are not coming, don't let your tushies be jell-o. Pamper them too.

Anyway, I'm leaving you with a list of 5 things I wouldn't want to hear before I kiss someone and a list of 5 things I'm thankful for.
Don't be expecting a serious "thankful for" list! If you are, then you're reading the wrong blog, maybe you should be reading "Serious Talk with Beatrice Huntinmeyersom... the Third"
5 things I wouldn't want to hear before I kiss someone:

1) Hold on! My sinuses are draining straight thru to my throat [swallows] there we go!

2) Damn! I hope my nose stops dripping otherwise my face will be stuck to my pillow.

3) Gimme a kiss! Wait, can you see the stuff on my teeth? I think it's spinach!

4) I should really brush my teeth. I have the morning breath of a bear who has a decomposing fish in his mouth!

5) MMMMM garlic, mmmmm anchovies, mmmm raw onions! Mint Shmint!

None of those happened to me, I'm just sayin' I wouldn't want to hear those things.

Thankful for List:

1) Easy access to toilet paper. I hear some countries don't even know what that is. (I'm not making fun of them, I'm genuinely sad.)

2) Fall/Winter. Can you say flab be gone? No, it's not really gone! Just hidden under layers and layers of clothing.

3) Canned Green Bean. Some countries are running out. It's a serious issue that politicians don't want you to know about. GIVE THEM BACK THEIR GREEN BEANS! TAKE THEM ALL!!

4) My Co-workers also known as "The Bats" without them, my world would be humorless and stress free. Stop what your doing and give them a round of applause. Stand up if you want to and give them a standing O as in ovation.

Last but not least...

5) SHOES!!! Yes, I said shoes! All the varieties of shoes! We've come a long way from fashioning them outta dried up still crusty animal skin. Now it's still dried up animal skin but at least it's not crusty! And all the pretty models and colors... mmmm shoes!

Are you asking yourself why I'm leaving you with these images??? Well, if they've got to be in my head, then they have to be in yours too! It's the law.
If you miss me you can read some posts you weren't around for, you know, BBC (Before Bee C.) I recommend One, Two, Three..., another bathroom horror story.
They'll make you giggle, cry, yawn, get hungry, wish you had a bat problem, wish you were a millionaire etcetera etcetera! If they make you do something I didn't list, see a physician.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

You shall be mercilessly devoured with only your bones as a reminder of your presence! BWAHAHAHA!
Except by me cuz I don't like turkey.


  1. No blog:

    What? Can't you give up sleeping for a couple of days?

    No beans:

    Every American should ensure that he or she finishes every last drop of Green Bean Casserole - it would be obscene for them to be throwing it away in these times of global need...

    Turkey Killer:

    Just because they're not cute and fluffy like guinea pigs...

  2. How about:

    I just threw up in the car on my hand and have not yet cleaned myself up.

    Yes... I actually just threw up in my hand this morning while driving Natalia to my mom's... I hate morning sickness!

  3. I am so sad that my bum, in all its delicious lareness soon to be larger, will not be the one to christen your toilet seat. I really mean that.

    In Saudi Arabia they don't have TP, they use their right hand. My hub was warned to only shake hands with the left hand. true story, gross

    We will be having three different green bean dishes so sorry those that don't have any

  4. Oh yeah!

    Besides the appetizers I'm bringing a "Green Bean Casserole". Big Texan's Momma said this would be the first Thanksgiving that Big Tex won’t have it. That of course touched my heart and I think I'll give it a shot.

  5. that Nancy is so sweet, she's the green puking one right?

  6. I loved your lists! You're like me in the sense that if an event or holiday can't be funny, then it's just not for me!
    I too am thankful for shoes. Another on my list would have to be purses. When I'm depressed and need a shopping excursion to perk me up, the last thing I want to do is try on a pair of pants and see that, on top of being depressed, I've also gone up a pant size. So I shop for shoes and purses. They always fit and there is always a ton of them in your size!
    Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family Bee!

  7. I'm finished cooking

    oh yeah, done, done

    done done da da da done

  8. Wrong day jean knee, Thanksgiving is tomorrow. TOMORROW!

  9. I was joking about the green bean casserole but my aunt brought one, it wasn't too bad either.
    Happy Thanksgiving Bee!!

  10. Clicking throughout the entire holiday weekend............


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.