Well I do love them more than goose fat you guys, no need to smirk! And just for you lucky peeps that are coming to Shangrila Bee n Andy's, I have a special treat! We bought a brand-spankin-new toilet seat. Your tushies will be so pampered!
Those who are not coming, don't let your tushies be jell-o. Pamper them too.
Anyway, I'm leaving you with a list of 5 things I wouldn't want to hear before I kiss someone and a list of 5 things I'm thankful for.
Don't be expecting a serious "thankful for" list! If you are, then you're reading the wrong blog, maybe you should be reading "Serious Talk with Beatrice Huntinmeyersom... the Third"
5 things I wouldn't want to hear before I kiss someone:
1) Hold on! My sinuses are draining straight thru to my throat [swallows] there we go!
2) Damn! I hope my nose stops dripping otherwise my face will be stuck to my pillow.
3) Gimme a kiss! Wait, can you see the stuff on my teeth? I think it's spinach!
4) I should really brush my teeth. I have the morning breath of a bear who has a decomposing fish in his mouth!
5) MMMMM garlic, mmmmm anchovies, mmmm raw onions! Mint Shmint!
None of those happened to me, I'm just sayin' I wouldn't want to hear those things.
Thankful for List:
1) Easy access to toilet paper. I hear some countries don't even know what that is. (I'm not making fun of them, I'm genuinely sad.)
2) Fall/Winter. Can you say flab be gone? No, it's not really gone! Just hidden under layers and layers of clothing.
3) Canned Green Bean. Some countries are running out. It's a serious issue that politicians don't want you to know about. GIVE THEM BACK THEIR GREEN BEANS! TAKE THEM ALL!!
4) My Co-workers also known as "The Bats" without them, my world would be humorless and stress free. Stop what your doing and give them a round of applause. Stand up if you want to and give them a standing O as in ovation.
Last but not least...
5) SHOES!!! Yes, I said shoes! All the varieties of shoes! We've come a long way from fashioning them outta dried up still crusty animal skin. Now it's still dried up animal skin but at least it's not crusty! And all the pretty models and colors... mmmm shoes!
Are you asking yourself why I'm leaving you with these images??? Well, if they've got to be in my head, then they have to be in yours too! It's the law.
If you miss me you can read some posts you weren't around for, you know, BBC (Before Bee C.) I recommend One, Two, Three..., another bathroom horror story.
They'll make you giggle, cry, yawn, get hungry, wish you had a bat problem, wish you were a millionaire etcetera etcetera! If they make you do something I didn't list, see a physician.
You shall be mercilessly devoured with only your bones as a reminder of your presence! BWAHAHAHA!
Except by me cuz I don't like turkey.