When was the last time I talked about the public bathroom that's in the office building? I can't remember since it's been a while.
The story I'm about to tell you I didn't witness personally but it was told to me by a very trustworthy person. If you can call a person who wears his shirt open to his navel showing off his hairy chest. He, of course, has no business walking around like that! Not just because of the weather. He's in his late 50s ample bodied and kinda creepy looking. Harmless but creepy looking. He's the building manager. TA TAH TAH TA! (for some reason I heard trumpets in my head)
Any-who!!! I bumped into him in the hall after having exited the ladies, I stopped to ask him about his car since someone had broken into it last Friday. Then I let him know the latch to the regular stall was broken and that's when he told me the story.
Sit down kiddies so that I may relay what Norm (oh, that's what we'll call him) told me.
Yes, I know. A couple of old ladies got stuck in there so I had to break 'em out.
[I pulled up a mental chair and sat down.]
I got a call on my walkie telling me 2 ladies were stuck in a stall. When I got there I found a very old lady in the stall and a younger but not by much lady stuck under the stall door!
It turns out the older lady couldn't figure out how to unlock the door so her friend tried going under the door to unlatch it for her. So I had to break the latch to set them free. I felt bad for them since that bathroom is always filthy! [yeah, how about getting someone to clean it more often!]
The worst part is I got the call while the police were here filling out the report for the break in so I had to go check the problem right away. One of the cops started laughing and asked if I needed the jaws [of life I'm assuming]! What an A-Hole! [yeah, he said "A-Hole" trying to be courteous of my delicate sensibilities, a gent to the last chest hair!].
No freakin way!!! How come I missed that? I'm so jealous!! How did the other one get stuck? Why would she even try to shimmy thru? Will you call me next time something like that happens so that I can take a picture?
Well, her [cleared his throat] uh, butt got stuck. No! I'm not calling you why would you want a picture anyway?.
Why indeed barechested Norm, why indeed..
I'm telling you that bathroom is a goldmine!!!