Thursday, October 18, 2007

Did you know Wine Gum is not gum?

Yeah, I know!

They're just gummie bears without the cool bear shapes!

Anyway, let go of your disappointment for a moment and follow me into the Island of Whocaresville.

Are you buckled in?

Okay lets go!

Marketing of gum has become an outrageous industry! They (Mad Gummists) are trying to make us believe it's the new "in" accessory.

They're packaging it in eye catching new ways and the displays are now taking over the chocolate displays! Gum has usurped the throne of our beloved Baby Ruth!

The packaging is so elaborate that even people that have been complaining about gum chewer wives have began taking notice.

Where once they have said to their wives, "Gum is yucky I don't know how you can chew it!" "It's pointless because you're doing all this work for nothing! It's not like you're gonna swallow it afterwards!" (side note: that was one disturbing sentence!)

So yeah, Andy hates gum, always makes faces when he's offered a piece (it's not like we're asking him to chew dog crap) then has to talk your ear off about it's uselessnessssss.

Well, a few moons ago, Mi Esposo, went to the store to buy random items (no, this is not the same trip that involved the shower/cell phone debacle) and came back with something I would never dreamed of him buying.

I would have been less shocked if he had brought home an Elf that would make me shoes for the rest of my life........ red shoes and blue shoes and even green shoes, boots and sandals and... kkkhrrrmm! Uh, sorry got a little distracted.

Anyway, he calls me (--bellows--) and says "Look what I bought!' he throws on the peninsula a small black square shaped package.

-- I stared but my 5 brain cells were running around each other playing ring around the roses instead of concentrating on the task at hand so I asked "what is it?"

The next words out of his mouth were "I bought myself some gum, isn't it cool?"

This ladies and gents, is what you get after 6.5 years of marriage.

I said "babe, gum isn't supposed to be cool" but he had to prove it to me. He opened the package and like the dutiful little wife I am, I ooohed and ahhhed.
The name of the gum is Flare and has been sitting on the peninsula ever since because Andrew Husband has decided it's too ssspicy and it burns his wittle mouth!

MG can't trick me though! I still love my old fashioned, Spearmint, Cinnamon and Pepto tasting gum!

Yup! I don't know how those damned Mad Gummists are gonna get me, cuz this girl is too smart for her britches (I said britches!).
There's no flavor on earth that will make me switch... ... ... is that Mojito flavor!!! OH-MY-LANTA!!!

You mean, I can have the flavor of Mojito without calling myself a lush??


Take that Wine Gum!

We've got Booze Gum!!!


  1. I play nice with people who chew gum nice. Make one move towards that gum cracking and snapping crap and you'll get my narrowed eyes o doom.

  2. I chew my gum like an 18th century maiden.

    AN IRON MAIDEN!! :o)

    Just kidding! I hate it when you can hear people eat, so gum cracking/snapping/cow-ing is another one of my many pet peeves!

  3. this certainly gives me something to chew on. LOL!

    oh, sorry, I was someone else for a moment.

    Mojitos have all that mint in them so mojito gum would be just like spearmint, with a kick, and think of the breath freshening power of 8o proof. I think you're on to something here.

    they are getting crafty, have you seen the ones with a built in mirror and fun chick sayings on them?

  4. jean knee i kent reid what u's sayin' kuss aim a lil hhickpsy!

  5. I bet no one at your work will even notice, haa

  6. Maybe they'll say my attitude has improved, I'm a happy drunk.

  7. Sorry, I didn't have time to read your blog earlier - I was busy this morning, er, posting up my blog entry...

    This all just goes to show how marketing people really can make you buy something you didn't want, and can't use (or eat). How do they sleep at nights?

    I like Wine gums. You'd have thought that some humourless Eurocrat might have banned them on the grounds that they don't contain wine. But then I suppose jelly beans aren't beans...

    Not sure your wine gum will catch on - doesn't quite leave the right smell on your breath...

  8. brian:
    Yeah, uh-huh I bet you were too busy!
    Did you read that little note above the poll??
    It's not nice to cheat you know.

  9. Cheetah:

    No, it's not nice, and whoever did it should be ashamed. But I've got a feeling they're feeling too pleased with themsleves...

  10. Hmmm, this feeling could just be indigestion from eating too many “wine gums”.

  11. MMMM.

    I was an avid Orbit Peppermint gum chewer until hubby brought home the pack of 'Stride' know the one that last so long they say it will put them out of business.

    Yeah, they aren't joking.

    I only chew peppermint (NEVER spearmint..tastes like toilet bowl cleaner *shiver*) and on rare occasion cinnamon.

    I think most of the new flavors are Mellon mint?? EWWW.

    (A cross between a spider and a bee, this is an exciting day for entomology.)

  13. chris:
    Yeah, that's what I like about spearmint, it lives me clean and sparkly like a toilet bowl!
    It's also a great husband deterrent for those times of the month you'd rather just be left alone.
    Uh, not that I'm saying I uh...

  14. Re you photo of gum.
    In Britain we package contraceptives in packets like that.

  15. Lorenzo:
    HA HA HA!

    Well if they start doing that here they’re gonna have to put a big bold label on the package so we don’t get stuck with the wrong thing! The unplanned pregnancy figure would rise dramatically! (Yes, we could always abstain but… where’s the fun in that?)


  17. chris, I meant "leave" not "live"

    • ₪ ◊ ◙ ♣ ♦ ♪ ♫ ☺ ☻ ☼ ♥

  18. more code? did you just cuss me out?
    The Horror!

  19. im supposed to talk about gum? i dont like it when girls smack their gum around. for sweeter fresher breath try a mint! id make a good spokes model cuz im hot!

  20. ♪ ♫ ♥I've got sunshine ☼ on a cloudy day... something something month of May♥...♪ ♫

  21. The only thing more attractive than watching people chewing gum (I have a friend who I swear never stopped teething, he always has to chew gum- ALWAYS)is hearing them chew it. Shmack, chomp, sluuurp. And even more attractive than that is people who blow bubbles that pop on their face and then they don't scrape all the flubbabubba off- eeew!

    I love spicy gum. I have put four pieces of Big Red in my mouth AT ONCE and chewed them fine. Did make the eyes water a little, though. I'd tell the hubby to suck it up and chew it!

    Psst, Bee-
    You forgot ★


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