Did you know Wine Gum is not gum?

Yeah, I know!

They're just gummie bears without the cool bear shapes!

Anyway, let go of your disappointment for a moment and follow me into the Island of Whocaresville.

Are you buckled in?

Okay lets go!

Marketing of gum has become an outrageous industry! They (Mad Gummists) are trying to make us believe it's the new "in" accessory.

They're packaging it in eye catching new ways and the displays are now taking over the chocolate displays! Gum has usurped the throne of our beloved Baby Ruth!

The packaging is so elaborate that even people that have been complaining about gum chewer wives have began taking notice.

Where once they have said to their wives, "Gum is yucky I don't know how you can chew it!" "It's pointless because you're doing all this work for nothing! It's not like you're gonna swallow it afterwards!" (side note: that was one disturbing sentence!)

So yeah, Andy hates gum, always makes faces when he's offered a piece (it's not like we're asking him to chew dog crap) then has to talk your ear off about it's uselessnessssss.

Well, a few moons ago, Mi Esposo, went to the store to buy random items (no, this is not the same trip that involved the shower/cell phone debacle) and came back with something I would never dreamed of him buying.

I would have been less shocked if he had brought home an Elf that would make me shoes for the rest of my life........ red shoes and blue shoes and even green shoes, boots and sandals and... kkkhrrrmm! Uh, sorry got a little distracted.

Anyway, he calls me (--bellows--) and says "Look what I bought!' he throws on the peninsula a small black square shaped package.

-- I stared but my 5 brain cells were running around each other playing ring around the roses instead of concentrating on the task at hand so I asked "what is it?"

The next words out of his mouth were "I bought myself some gum, isn't it cool?"

This ladies and gents, is what you get after 6.5 years of marriage.

I said "babe, gum isn't supposed to be cool" but he had to prove it to me. He opened the package and like the dutiful little wife I am, I ooohed and ahhhed.
The name of the gum is Flare and has been sitting on the peninsula ever since because Andrew Husband has decided it's too ssspicy and it burns his wittle mouth!

MG can't trick me though! I still love my old fashioned, Spearmint, Cinnamon and Pepto tasting gum!

Yup! I don't know how those damned Mad Gummists are gonna get me, cuz this girl is too smart for her britches (I said britches!).
There's no flavor on earth that will make me switch... ... ... is that Mojito flavor!!! OH-MY-LANTA!!!

You mean, I can have the flavor of Mojito without calling myself a lush??

SOLD!!

Take that Wine Gum!

We've got Booze Gum!!!