Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Butt Cake.

Somewhere over the radar bees will fly… (Hmmm, on the radar bees will fly? )

So I tried. I really did.
I was going to behave and do my job to the best of my ability (that's not saying much) and earn my “ginormous” paycheck.

But or should I say Butt…

Let me set the stage for you. I work in a Medical Building with all types of different docs having offices here. Upstairs is a Physical Therapy place that OZ has partnership with. One of their staff was having some sort of butt disorder (TMI? yeah I know but it’s relevant) so they decided to get him a cake in the shape of a … you guessed it! Butt!

Since the guy must have been very ample cheeked, they brought down a huge piece for us yesterday. I passed on eating it cuz the last thing I want to be able to say is “I’ve eaten ass.” (gross?)

Anyway the color was very distinctive, cartoon pig pink, so I thought “hey if this is the color of his ass no wonder he’s having issues” (cheap joke? so?).

Anyway again… this morning when I went in to get my coffee Scarecrow pulled the butt out of the fridge. When she pulled back the foil paper she had a conniption fit!

What the hell happened? There was twice as much cake before I left last night!

Cool Till the Last Drop Bee: [giggling]
You mean there’s some butt missing?

Did you take some home?

:sigh:: I’m no longer amused!

Cool Till the Last Drop Bee:
No, I didn’t want to have any here why would I take it home? Who cares really if someone’s eating it?

I know what happened. Milton had said she was going to take a piece of ass home with her and I bet she was the culprit.

Half an hour later the Bat Posse is looking for blood. They head straight for Milton because they must have put their brains together and astonishingly enough came up with the right answer. Can you guys believe it? I couldn’t and I was sitting right there.

Milton admits to taking a piece home but they want to know exactly how much in size and weight! I was almost done with my coffee so my mood was slightly better but I couldn’t stomach them attacking someone so defenseless. I had to come to her rescue. I mean, I’d have done the same for a deer being attacked by hyenas so I might as well help her out, right?

Cool Till the Last Drop Bee: [picture me swaggering bandida style]
I have a great solution. Since all we do is waste time bitching about food, how about I bring it up to OZ on our next meeting that maybe we should stop Thursday treat day (we buy the treats, bring the receipt and he reimburses us) and not let vendors bring us anymore food.

Toto, Milton, PD, Scarecrow:
BURGA BURGA GARBA GARBA (what they say it not important but they don’t agree)

Cool Till the Last Drop Bee:
As of matter of fact why wait? I’ll go tell him now.

[Swaggering out, going towards OZ’s office]

I have never seen them move so fast! HA HA HA! They went to go get Glynda but they were too late! I was at OZ’s office.

Good morning sunshine!

(Huh? Whatever I’m on a mission!)

Cool Till the Last Drop Bee:
OZ, I appreciate the fact that you buy us treats every Thursday and let vendors bring in goodies. I don’t believe I’ve ever thanked you for that.

OZ: [puzzled]
You’re welcome, I think it helps moral.

Cool Till the Last Drop Bee:
It sure does! Thanks again!

[I swagger out of his office and the bats are around the corner with Glynda and Milton.]

Cool Till the Last Drop Bee:
He said treats were a privilege and it was to help with moral but if it’s having the opposite effect he will take it from us.

Nobody said anything they just let me walk by while they picked their jaws off the floor.
I know no one would dare ask him anything so my secret is safe (you guys better now squeal!). I heard an earful from Glynda but her words come out trash and enter my little ears as a love song.

Currently nobody is talking to me so all in all I’d say it was good days work!

Oh… it’s only 10:30! ::sigh:: I’m tired.



When I searched for "pictures cartoon pig" I thought for sure I might end up on some shady sites but I didn't! Don't you think that's weird? I mean I look for rotten tomatoes and end up in pornville but pig search takes me to just pigs...
Picture added.
I wasn't going to but this is the last piece of cake left. It was chocolate with strawberry filling... ::yuck!::


  1. They can't help it - They're regressing into their second childhood. This is part of the ageing process. You can avoid it by not getting too mature in the first place (at least that's my plan).

  2. wow, I've never had a butt cake.
    Jean-Uh had a cake in the shape of men's underwear, with a rather distinctive bulge. It said this bud's for you. yeah I ate it, why waste cake?

    if there is any left you have to take it to Andy and say, honey, I brought you a piece of ass.

  3. LMAO!!!!

    You are soooooo bad!!! But freaking AWESOME!!!

    I should totally use that for Customer Service Week since ALL I’ve been hearing is B ! T C H I G about EVERYTHING WE DID…

  4. brian:
    Immaturity is my middle name. Thief is my next name. Cordova my last name, of course. Hellraiser my second last name.

    I can never find hand towels with my initials…

  5. jean knee:
    My lips will not touch the lips of a butt eater…

    [--not that there's anything wrong with it!--]

  6. Nancy:
    What? You want to order a butt cake? With the strawberries on top? Gross!

  7. do they make boob cakes too? the possibilities are ENDless!

  8. I'm sure they do!
    I just thought of something... if I ever bump into the dude who they honored with a cake, I'm gonna tell him the bats were fighting for his ass!

  9. Towels:

    They don't seem to make towels with "Boring" on them, either. Funny, that...

    Why do people want initials on towels anyway? How often do you leave your towels somewhere they might be confused for someone elses?

    Maybe I just don't go to the right parties...

  10. Strawberries on the top:

    I think you mean strawberries on the bottom ;-)

  11. Three in a row - I'll try not to make a habit of it!

    "Round and fat, with a cherry on the top":
    Boob cakes = Belgian Buns. See


    (you have to scroll down a bit)

    Do you have these in the US? They're very popular here

  12. brian:

    Used to be my favorite filling...

  13. brian:

    They look kinda sloppy!

  14. If you say so but now you're gonna give "big dork" ideas!

  15. Clicking by the light of the moon.....

    I'm freakin late for work so I'll have to come back to read later.


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.