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Today marks the day of my second anniversary here at Hell Hole Is Us so to celebrate I have decided to be especially obnoxious to my fellow annoyers.

Here are my goals:

1) I will not respond when my name is called until they are standing in front of me. This could be dangerous because they will invade my space.

2) I will only answer their questions with another question. Example "Is the copy machine working?" me "I don't know is the copy machine working?" etc.

3) I will sing random songs from the radio out loud.

Well, louder than I normally do. AND play air guitar, piano, drums when called for.

The air instruments might be a little hard since it's something I've never done before but I'm always up for new stuff! (In a non-bondage type of way)

4) I will lock the back door after people go for a cigarette break therefore making them walk thru the front door and waiting room where patients will think they have the right to ask them why their elbow hurts.

This one will make me laugh because I've done it a couple of times before and they're always so confused.

5) I will answer my phone with the name of the company I used to work for then correct myself.

HA! I actually do that allot so there's no real challenge! Well, now that I want to do it I might forget so wish me luck.

6) I will act shocked anytime one of them tells me what they brought for lunch. Example "you brought tuna salad?!"

I don't know what I'll say yet once they respond "yes, why?" I'll have to play it by ear.

7) I will pretend something interesting is happening outside the window so that each one of them individually comes to check out the scenery.

I'll have to ad lib that one too but I'm thinking maybe a squirrel fighting a bird...?

I might update this list later AND might actually do some of these things the rest of the week. Still thinking about it.

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What?

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Are you feeling sympathy for them?

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Today Purple Dino-SOUR asked me how to change a simple simple SIMPLE thing on an account and she has been with the company for 18 years (18!).

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Milton (5 years) decided to lecture me on the importance of rotating paper boxes even after I told her it hadn't been me, I still heard it for an hour. I didn't know that paper could spoil but I guess if you give it a few years (50?) it'll turn to dust.

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Cowardly Lion (7 years) asked me how to change the ribbon on the printer.

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Glynda (20 years) asked me which tray was for the out going mail.

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Scarecrow (9 years) didn't bother me today but I'm sure she will in the future.

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You must remember 2 things:

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1) They are already crazy, what matters is my sanity.

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2) The moment you start feeling sorry for them it will stop being funny and the universe will collapse.

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Do you really want that on your shoulders?

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I didn't think so!

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Sincerely yours,

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Bee