Saturday, October 13, 2007

Confessions of a 64% Sociopath

I have some stuff to confess.
Confession #1
Last night Andy said I couldn't be too much of a bad ass because I still slept with my teddy bear.
You read that right, I'm a 34 year old that still clutches her teddy bear while sleeping.
My mom gave him to me on my 15 birthday nearly 20 years ago now! Wow! I should go buy him a gift right? Maybe some shoes? Good idea!
Anyway... his name is George, named after a boy I was crushing on at that time (don't tell Andy, he thinks I just named him randomly).

I cannot sleep without him and will often wake up in the middle of the night if, let's say, one Andrew Husband has taken possession of him and thrown him overboard or is just plain hugging him. I will wake up and turn on all lights if he is not immediately located!

If we travel, he comes with us but not in a suitcase as he is one of my prized possessions.

My poor dear Georgie is showing the signs of age just like his owner. He now has a couple of threadbare spots on his body (unlike his owner) which terrifies me but I know I have tons of options to make him better. Like maybe learn to sew...

Confession #2
I love Ashley Simpson's CD "Autobiography"!
The girl who sings for her on that CD is awesome! And the lyrics to some of those songs are pure genius! Have you heard "Love Me For ME" and "Shadow"? How about "La La" if you haven't you must! Here's a little snippet of the "La La" song:

"You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la You make me wanna la la, la la la"

Word of warning, you probably shouldn't buy her second CD because I haven't listened to it yet.

Confession #3
Brad Pitt has some competition for my affection. I know you're shocked and I thought I would never utter those words but... I have a huge crush on someone else.
His name is Jack last name Johnson and he's a singer. He sings "Bubble Toes" and I have bubble toes so I'm thinking he wrote the song for me plus he's a surfer. There is something about a guy playing a guitar singing you songs...
So yeah, I'm sure Brad will be upset!

That's all for now kiddies! And nobody better be drooling over my Jack!


  1. you need to grow up already and get rid of you little teddy bear, get a turtle like me.

    I really like Alexz Johnson who plays Jude on a show called Instant Star that Amanda watches and you'll somtimes catch me singing a Hanna Montana song too
    ( insert gay joke here )


  2. Danonymous:
    Yeah, your turtle is worse than my bear. How many reconstructive surgeries has it had?

    So what you're saying is you were one of those shlubs that missed the Bears game last Sunday so you could go see Hanna Montana?!

    Yeah uh that's kinda girlie!

    [--not that there's anything wrong with tha!--]

  3. Re George:

    You had a crush on a boy who looked like that???

    I think you should definitely buy him some red shoes to go with his bow tie. Or perhaps you meant that you should buy some shoes for you to wear? No, surely not ;-)

  4. Hanna Montana tickets were going for like 2 G's, to rich for my blood. I'll wait a few years after her rehab / DUI and other drama child stars go thru....

  5. brian:
    Yes I vote for red shoes! In a size 6.5 or 7, if they don't fit him I'll have to wear them myself!

    Nice pic! ;o)

  6. Dan:
    Uh-huh this from the dude that's gonna go see "So you think you can dance" peeps.

    I'm just jealous...

  7. the chicks are fricken hot, nothing to feel embarased about the hell do you do a spell check on these things, I know I missppelded embarased. I don't want your "fans" to think I'm a dumbass.

  8. Dan:
    No spell check!
    You also spelled "misspelled" wrong, I'm sure there's a joke there somewhere!

  9. shit, looks like my bloging days are over, they should invent some kind of book for occations when spell check is not available.

  10. Bee- I just read a short srory where a guy slept with a teddy bear every night. He would not bring home over night guests (dates you know) because of embararasement until he met a woman who couldn't sleep without her snake. I nearly shed a tear , or upchucked one, can't remember now.

  11. Spell Czechs are rubbish. Eye bet nun of them wood complain a bout this comment. Personally Aye think there should bee at least won mistake in every post - at least thats my excuse ;-)

  12. Dan, never let spelling keep you from blogging. check out how I spelled embarrassed. also I always use the wrong word, it will be close but wrong. and I can't do compound words at all, not at all.

    are you bee's brother?

  13. J/K: Did the snake eat the bear? Or the guy?

  14. jean knee:
    Can you believe Andy was jealous of my bear?

    Yes, Dan is my brother (my favorite one but don't tell the rest!) Just Kidding!!

  15. it left things up in the air so to speak. the snake was a live one

  16. brian:
    You're coment maid mi is hert...

  17. Jean Knee
    Yes, I am...the better looking one.

    Marie said to invite your in-laws.


  18. JK: So the snake ate her (so to speak) ;-)

  19. Man George is 20 huh?

    Maybe geaorge can get out, get a job, & get some rent.

    Just a thought

  20. yeah bee, I see what you mean about Andy being jealous of George.

  21. Andy's just jealous cuz George gets more hugs!
    But then again, George has a nice haircut where as Andy...

  22. I still sleep with a stuffed leopard. His name is Sneaky and I've had him since I was 6.

    I have lots of guilty pleasure songs nobody else knows I like. Actually, they're all on my playlist. That makes things just a tad bit weird because that means anyone who listens to my playlist knows more about my real music tastes than most of my real-life friends! I don't know why I keep them secret- mostly because none of them are wildly popular or rap or even hip-hop (except White & Nerdy, but that doesn't count) so I'm afraid they'd make fun of me or something, I guess.

  23. You can freakin keep Jack Johnson and his crappy music. I'd like to stick his surfboard right into that piehole to quit the monotonous songs from spilling out of it. Seriously. all JJ songs are the same!!

    My favorite songwriter/guitarist is Matt Nathanson. He's the best. The very best. The absolute best. And he wears a bad ash white EMO belt even though he's 34 years old.

  24. Okay, and here's a clip of my favorite Matt song right now but its over footage of that chick from So You Think You Can Dance because Matt Nathanson is too cool to have lame MTV videos.

    Come On Get Higher!

  25. My 26 year old BIL took his Boo-Boo Bear on his mission with him. Yeah, he's preaching the gospel on the mean streets of L.A. with his tough one-eyed stuffed furbag bear with him.

    I bet that earned him mucho street cred.

  26. chris:
    Yup! There are tons more songs I'll keep under my hat and I have listened to your playlist (FOR ABOUT AN HOUR)! :o)

    Matt Nathanson, yup yup he's also in my iPod.
    JJ, however has a certain nostalgic quality for me, probably my California roots.

    So I'm thinking you likey Ashley Simpson (well, the chick who sings for her since we all know it's not Ashley singing) that's who I thought I was gonna get blasted on.

  27. I sleep with this eye covery thing that my Daughter Fashionista got on her 8th brithday.
    Because of the clowns ;)

    The Not Ashley Simpson Singing girl make me go lalalalala woth that song. It's fun to go lalalala.

    Siganme los Buenos Bee!

  28. Well, I thought you were talking bout someone else since she's really AshLEE Simpson.

    I may or may not be guilty of shoulder-shaking to 'Pieces Of Me'.....even now.

    DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!

  29. EWBL:
    What's in a name? It's not my fault her parents couldn't spell her name right! ;op

    "Pieces of me" another good Ashley Simpson song.

  30. You know what, maybe her parents did the right thing cuz I just googled the name "Ashlee" and she's the only one that came up! Interesting...

  31. In good conscience I CAN'T allow a union between you and JJ.......because then you'd be BJ!

    Did ya think about that? See how I'm watching out for you?

    I'm tweezin while getting ready for church. Clickin and pickin, baby! Weeze top 20 material now!!!

  32. I sleep with a soft and fuzzy guy named Drew that I've had since I was 24. He was 20. yep I robbed the cradle with an under age hawty

  33. jean knee:
    I wonder if it freaks people out to know we both not only married guys with the names Andy and Drew, we also picked them, 4 years younger!!!!!
    Coincidence? I think not!

  34. there are no coincidences only consequences

    that looks so profound, I amaze myself at times

    confession : I almost wrote profane for profound, I really think there are just too many dang words in our language

  35. jean knee:
    You are soooo profane!
    Did I tell you I was dyslexic?

  36. EWBL:
    I hadn't thought about it that way!
    "Bee Johnson" does sound kinda porny!

  37. um, I think she meant the initials are what would be porny.B J
    you're so innocent, sweet little bee

  38. jean knee:
    First time anybody has ever called me innocent... :o)
    Yeah I got the BJ thing but did you know that in slang they call men's peniseses "Johnson"
    How innocent am I now? :o)

  39. I have never had 42 comments even when the cock is starring

  40. jean knee:
    It's technically only 26 since some are mine.

  41. Well, what about me???!? I work into the equation too because I got me a Dova man!

  42. EWBL:
    I think we have even more things in common than we would like to admit to the general public for fear they might ostracize you! (or me!) ;o)

  43. jack johnson blagh! my girlfriend loves that douche too!
    so thats george! i pictured him bigger!

  44. Big Head:
    There is something about that man that makes me happy!

    It's not the size that matters...


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