Wednesday, August 22, 2007


"You think you’re bad? I know I’m bad!"

Irrational Attorney:
We can’t pay that amount! What could the doctor have done to charge that amount? [his voice says "it's all about me"]

Cool Hand Bee:
You’re right, he only reattached his leg. [in a somewhat sarcastic tone, well... extremely sarcastic tone]

I’m not saying it wasn’t important but he’s charging too much money! After fees, his settlement will be almost nothing! [full of righteous indignation]

Cool Hand Bee:
So you’d like a reduction? [I ask sympathetically]

Yes, basically that’s why I’m calling. [relieved I'm not as dumb as I seem]

Cool Hand Bee:
Okay, I’ll bring it to the doctor’s attention but he is going to ask me how much you are reducing your fees for this "client". [I wait expectantly]

I didn’t say I was. I’ve been doing allot for this client. [you could hear the Whaaat? in his voice]

Cool Hand Bee:
Did you reattach his leg? [nuff said!]

I win!


  1. what the hell was wrong? i kept trying to pull up your blog but it kept giving me an error. did you piss off the goverment too?


  2. LOL-watch out for the govt.!

    That is hilarious!! I would have loved to listen to that conversation. Was the lawyer getting impatient/frustrated with you ('cause you had a smart-ass comment for everything he had to say)? Hilarious!

  3. If the lawyer's being paid enough to get impatient or frustrated then the client should be very worried...

    Who are you going to choose to play you in the TV adaptation "Bee the Lawyer Slayer"?

  4. M:
    No need to draw attention to me!
    I don’t know what was wrong. I just leave all internet thingys to the Gods.

    I swear to you that when people know I’m on the phone with an attorney, they come and stand by my desk just to snicker at what I say.
    They are my favorite phone calls!

    Yup, the attorneys get, hold on to your shirt, I/3 of the settlement.
    OZ, even though he’s an ass to work for, is very compassionate and usually reduces his fees so that the patient isn’t screwed but I love it when their attorneys call trying to bully me since I have carte blanche to speak to them as I please… :op

    Who would I get to play me?
    Why Angelina Jolie of course!
    Not that I look anything like her, I probably come up to her waist!

  5. So, did IA go ahead and say, "Why, yes, I did reattach the ungrateful SOB's leg" or not? Just curious.

    And some lawyers take 40%. I guess it just depends on what their policy is, what they're doing for the case, etc.

  6. duckman:
    Holy Fibula! 40%?
    I think I know what I wanna be when I grow up!

    He just said his work was just as important, but he sounded extremely irritated…
    I then explained to him that due to the severity of the injury we would only offer him a 10% reduction.
    He huffed, said he’d talk to his client and call me back.

  7. That was pretty funny...


  8. I hate lawyers. one lives next door to me. when we wave at him he just stares us down. now we wave just to bug him

  9. SC:
    Nice to see you back supermohn!

    jean knee:
    LOL! It probalbly does drive him crazy.
    You should also yell out 'what's up buuuuddy!' in Pauly Shore fashon. He'd probably never leave his house!

  10. You go girly...way to sock it to him! Lawyers...they can be soo unreasonable.

  11. Dan:

    Mrs. Jo:
    Some are okay ::wink wink::

  12. OMG! This is what you deal with???? Boy, is that Doctor lucky to have you!

  13. You are my hero! When I grow up I want to be like BEE. :)

  14. anonymous:
    Thanks my anonymous friend. You and me we can be pals! :o)
    Now if you could do me the favor of convincing him to give me a raise...

    Okay, what do you want?
    A babysitter? Okay I'll do it!


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.