Friday, June 13, 2008

I survived Friday the 13th! Just barely...

So hey. Guess who you should never ask if they know of any good restaurants.

Guess!

If you said old people the elderly then you're smarter than I gave you credit for because me? I didn't see that one coming!

I had a taste for Caucasian food. Why don't we ever call it that?? When I told Andy I had a taste for Caucasian food, he shook his head and said I shouldn't call it that but I had to point out that we say things like Chinese food, Mexican food, Italian food, Greek food... need I go on? To me, things like roast beef and meatloaf is Caucasian food.
But! I guess I should call it something else since it offends my hubs. Let me know if you think of something that won't make him cry (kidding babe)(maebee).

I innocently asked the ladies at work "Hey, Andy and I want to try a new place for dinner. You guys know of any place around here that's good?"

Unanimously they suggested a place called Gilbert's.

"Oh, it's very good!"

"And economical"

"And they give you tons of food"

"That's right good for 2 meals!"

Well, bless their little souls!

Since we don't like having dinner too late and I hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch, we headed on over to Gilbert's at around 5:00 in Andy's crashmobile (it's fixed again... but for how long??)..

Now, it's been a while since I've watched Seinfeld so I forgot one very IMPORTANT thing. 5:00 o'clock is to older people what 9:00 o'clock is to the rest of us young 'uns!
We walked into the place and the bar area looked like somebody spilled a bag of cotton balls and a package of shiny brown marbles!

Senior citizens EVERYWHERE! But that's okay, I'm sure they won't hurt us, right?
Right??



You see that red arrow? (Sorry, I was trying to take inconspicuous pictures, then I figured they wouldn't know what I was doing but the quality sucks anyway.) That red arrow points at a wall that is hiding ONE MILLION elderly folk. I couldn't tell if they were being held back because the wall discharged electricity if they tried to leave or if they were tied to their chairs.


This beautiful picture is of the menu which they blew up to BILLBOARD size, I'm guessing so people with sight problems would know what to order?



Now for my review of the food.
I know why it is so popular with people with diet restrictions.
THE FOOD IS BLAND! BLAAAAAND!!
I have never had to put so much salt and pepper on anything I've eaten in my life!

Plus, how disturbing is this picture? It looks like the little chicken is taking a nap. I should have ordered the ribs like Andy did.



As for the amount of food for the price, they were right.
It was inexpensive, the portions were ginormous and Andy will be eating that poor little chicken for a few days because I just don't need all that salt now that summer is here. I figure all my water retention will still be there naturally.

AND FOR DESERT!!

Chocolate cake with a layer of cheddar cheese.



Okay, stay with me now.

What would you say.
If I asked you if you wanted a slice of yummy chocolate cake and then put a slice of cheddar cheese on top of it??
...
Oh WoW! I’d never heard that word before!

Okay, what would you say if I did that on Thursday and it was the BEST cake I had eaten??

Um, yeah, I don’t call you names so what you just said is uncalled for.

Here’s how it happened.

PD brought in treats for Thursday and these included chocolate cake and little slices of cheese for crackers. I went to have some cheese because we’ve all established that cheese and I have a long loving gastronomical relationship.

Sure, it sometimes makes my stomach talk back to me in the form of lactose intolerance but you know, I gotta do what I gotta do. Anyway, the cake looked so good I took a tiny little sliver and put a couple of slices of yummy cheddar cheese ON THE SIDE OF MY plate. After I chomped on the cheese, I had a little bite of the cake and the combination of flavors was unbelievable!!

Sooooo… being the experimental person I am, I combined the two and reached a state of taste nirvana they only talk about in dirty movies.

The next time you come over to my house, this is to the 3 of you I trust (the rest of you have threatened me enough to merit me just keeping our acquaintanceship on the interwebisphere), I will serve a plateful of this yummy yum yum cheddar cheesy cake just for YOU.

And don’t try making excuses not to come to my house cuz I will go to your house, hide in the bushes and make you try a piece.

But, enough about me.


Kidding.

I still need you to click on Humor-Blogs for me since I'm sliiiiiiding! Thanks!

P.S.

AMAZON SUCKS ASS! Not The Amazon, Amazon the book ordering place. I hate them. I've been waiting for a book I bought (Driving Sideways by Jess Riley) because Suzy threatend to beat me if I didn't buy it and I'm still waiting! I blame Suzy.

19 comments:

  1. I said it both in mezican and caucasicasian, 'cause i'm cool like that.

    Enough about me. You never ever ask old people where to eat.
    Seinfeld has taught us very many things, I recommend we all wath those old episode which are full of pearls of wisdom.

    My MIL (I LOVE her) goes to Old Country Buffettte at 4 pm for dinner. Is there a grossest place to eat? I think not. It's gross Bee. It is.
    Ewww. Say no to Old people restaurants and/or restaurants with the word OLD in them.

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  2. I'm surprised you and Andy weren't turned away by the bouncers...

    What a great dessert idea! Cheese & Cake. You called call it, lets, see, cheesecake?. Actually, I'm not sure if anyone's invented chocolate cheesecake, so you might be on to something.

    I think you should get into the old folk's restaurant business - it's clearly a growth industry, you don't need to be able to cook anything exotic, and you get to close up at 7pm.

    And you could put your cheddar chocolate cake on the menu.

    "For a better value dinner go to Bee's Betta Value Diner"

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  3. Should be "could call it", not "called call it"...

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  4. chocolate cheesecake All it's missing is the grated cheddar on the top...

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  5. I'm surprised a group of them didn't gang up on you for going into their space:

    "So, what do you think you're ahh doin here yun fella? You ain't thinkin ahh stayin are ya little ladeee?"

    Chris and I actually had a similiar experience. We were sent to a little place called "Maria's Garden Inn". Sounds harmless right?
    When we walked in we were confused on whether or not we were in church or a restaurant because there were religious statues and paintings everywhere. It turns out that when building the place, the owner had a vision of the Virgin Mary in one of the windows and has dedicated the place to her.
    The only thing worse in our experience was they had an accordian player who parked himself by our table for twenty minutes! We were about as deaf as the other old people in that place by the time he was done!

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  6. Oh, also, am I in your three people that are allowed to come to your house? Just wondering.

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  7. Is the term you are seeking to replace caucasian food perhaps American Cuisine?

    Always avoid any place that is packed with blue haired people eating early dinners.

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  8. Cheese and chocolate are awesome together. There was a chef a few years ago that made some very expensive specialty truffles, chocolate covered gourmet cheeses with sea salt on top. Yum!!!

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  9. At the restaurant where my girlfriend and I hang out (mainly because her boyfriend is the bartender) we are the only two white people in the place. We've become pals with all of the servers. (We go in just about every day. Or at least she does. And then I get the benefit of the friends SHE makes.) Anyway, this one big black dishwasher/cook/do-whatever-the-fuck-needs-to-be-done guy always hugs us and kisses us on the cheek and tells us we look beautiful and says, "mmmmmmmmm" at my cleavage. He never ceases to make comments about what kind of white peoples food is on the menu. He makes a point to add that he knows we are not really white, so it's not for us. But it's there none the less.

    I see nothing wrong with calling it white peoples food. American cuisine just doesn't cut it. I mean, I'm fairly sure that not all Americans are white. And never really have been.

    I will say, though, that you DID indeed get you some white peoples food at that cotton balls and shiny brown marbles restaurant. It don't get no whiter than that, babe! Salt away!

    (One more thing... cheese is also GREAT on apple pie. And it is soooooooooo white to eat that.)

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  10. That little chicken looks like it was spooning with the corn coblet as though they were in some sort of unholy love.

    "Don't let go, Chicky!" "I'll never let go, Niblet!"

    In other observations, that little lady in the green near your discreet red arrow looks scrappy. Like a fighter. It was probably good you didn't make any sudden moves in that restaurant. Either you would have given half of the guests spontaneous heart attacks, or she would have come over the top of her table and wailed on your knees.

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  11. I'll take your word for the chocolate cheese cake and try a piece, but I generally don't like my chocolate tainted. I'm a chocolate purist.

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  12. First of all, I must be blamed for everything that is wrong with the world because I'm never the solution, I'm always part of the problem.

    My favorite chocolate combo is to eat it with a beer. Most people cringe when I say that but try it, it totally rocks. I won't even try the cheese slice on the apple pie because I'm afraid the cheese will cut the sugar factor and I'M ALL ABOUT THE SUGAR, sugar.

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  13. We used to go to Hometown Buffet before it closed down. I personally like the thrill of the hunt and beating old ladies using walkers to the last bit of tuna casserole.

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  14. Was "Ensure" on the menu?? lol

    That bird looks about as old as them people in the diner does!

    Cheese with chocolate cake?

    You weirdo!!

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  15. We went to Target today and there's a Hometown Buffettey in that same strip mall.
    At 5 pm all the old people were heading home: Groups and groups of old people in big old cars just leaving at the same time.

    I thought about you ;}

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  16. OH shit! I forgot to wish Andy a Happy Father's Day! Hehehehe.

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  17. oh man, Luby's is the old dude hangout here. You don't have to chew anything on the menu- guaranteed.

    I hate having to chew a lot, I loves Lubys

    I'll love it even more when I'm toothless

    that's what she said

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  18. NCS:
    HI!! Que Onda?
    See what I did there? ;o)

    My mom used to love TOCB too and she’s young! The last time I took her there she asked me if it had always been that horrible. I said um HELLO!! YES!! :o)

    Brian:
    You are soooooooooooo funny! >:o[
    I didn’t mean bake the cheese in the cake because yes, that would be cheesecake.
    Smart ass.

    Tracy:
    Of course you’re one of the 3! Definitely! Sure. Because you’re not weird at all! ;op

    Daniel:
    To me American Cuisine is Fried Chicken, Ribs, Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Milk Shakes, Beef Sandwiches… damn it! Now I’m hungry!
    Anyway, because that is stuff enjoyed by all Americans no matter what their parents’ original country of birth is.
    And yes, I have now learned my lesson! Whenever I see a parking lot full of Cadillacs, I’m going to the nearest Hot Dog stand!


    I am so hungry.

    Marie:
    I’m drooooling!

    Teri:
    I agree.
    My mother-in-law and my mom’s style of cooking is the perfect example in that they are complete opposite. But both yummy.
    Black dudes always comment on my booty. ;o)

    FADKOG:
    Andy and I kept to ourselves because they did look like they could overpower us just by the sheer numbers of them. Also, they all wore nice matching pant suit thingies in pastel green, salmon and lilac.

    Alice:
    You know what’s the best? Chocolate cake with chocolate chips inside it and chocolate frosting. mmmmmmmm

    Suzy:
    Sorry I was so harsh but I’m upset I haven’t gotten my book which I am looking forward to reading since I read an excerpt online.
    I’ll have to try chocolate with beer, who am I to question the logic in it?

    Slick:
    Ha! Your weirdo comment will go up on my sidebar! (and I just want to say pot-kettle).

    NCS:
    I must not make jokes about the elderly being bad drivers… must… stop… myself…

    Teri:
    MUAHAHAHAHA!

    jean knee:
    So, everything is sold pre-chewed? Is it extra?

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Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.