Meet Archibald The Ugly + Naughty List.

To all the tree huggers:

This post is gonna bad mouth my tree and is not meant to bad mouth all the other trees out there, okay?

So...

We bought a tree on Saturday. We decided to cheap-it-out this year cuz we weren't hosting Christmas. Instead of buying our usual 7 footer from Bob Evans from Wisconsin, who sets up his trees and lives in a trailer on the Roadhouse Bar and Grill parking lot and paying $65, we went to Menard's where you can't actually see what the tree looks like cuz it's wrapped up in a net.

We thought "so what, we're paying $20 so who cares!" Well, you get what you pay for and we wound up with a 5.5 foot baldy. Which is why I named him Archibald the Ugly. No matter what I did, this thing was just plain BUGLY! (butt ugly)

To make matters worse I made a huge mistake when putting the lights on,(normally my sister does this for me but since she's pregos I thought I wouldn't bother her this year) I ended up plugging all the prongs to each other, so when it came time to plug them into the outlet I didn't have the right end at the bottom... DOH!! I patiently redid them. (and by patiently I mean I didn't rip the lights off the branches like I wanted)

Before I put on the lights (the first time) I checked them to make sure they all worked and they did. Once I put them on the second time and plugged them in half the flippin lights weren't working! My self confidence has gone from 100 to 15! Obviously the complexity of tree lighting is far beyond my grasp... I'm sure I'm good at something... right?

::SIGH!::

I removed the 6 series of lights AGAIN and can you guess what happens when you've been moving the tree, putting lights on, taking lights off, then putting them on again???

It loses tons of needles. So Archibald became even bald-er.

This message is to the Light Making Industry, why is it that we can send robots to Mars but we can't invent a string of lights that work even if one little freakin' bulb is out???

Please... I'd really like to know!

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Anyway, the branches were weak and weird so I had to make the decision to not use my best ornaments for fear they would wind up in little pieces on the floor.

This is were I gave up! It was like trying to put lipstick on a pig! I couldn't do it anymore so Andy came home and did the rest. First time for him since I'm always the one decorating the tree.

Little Shoogie Boogie came to help too and they both did a great job. This is the finished product.

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Naughty List:

Natalia is only 4 but her vocabulary skills are excellent! Not to mention her ability to explain the logic she sees in situations.

She asked me if I had made my list for Santa yet since Christmas was so close and she wanted to know what I'd asked for.

I, in my infinite ignorance(!), told her I never bothered with a list because I'm always on the Naughty list... little did I know about the lectures I would receive from someone who can't look over any counters!

First she asked me why I thought I was on the naughty list. Thinking I'd give her a short answer and she'd move on, I told her it was because I was mean to everybody.

Natalia:

I don't believe you're mean. You tell me stories and sing me songs and give me hugs and kisses. You're nice to me.

Tia Bee:

Well, yeah but just to you. Because I love you.

Natalia:

Well that's going to make my mommy really sad.

Tia Bee:

Why???

Natalia:

Because mommy loves you. You should be nice to her too.

Tia Bee:

Okay, I'll be nice to you and your mommy.

Natalia:

You know, maybe you should be nice to grandma too, and Tio Andy...

Tia Bee:

That's too many people! How am I going to stay on the naughty list if I start being nice to everybody.

Natalia:

Don't you want to get presents?? I think it's too late for this year but you should start being nice for next year.

Tia Bee:

I'll try but I'm not making any promises!

Natalia: [she was in the middle of eating an ice cream bar, she set it down on it's wrapper and grabbed my face]
I believe you can do it Tia Bee! [little earnest face]

::sigh::

Now I'm going to have to behave myself!!

I hope she uses her persuasive tactics for good when she grows up. If not we're all doomed! ;o)

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P.S.

Andy bought me tweezers so that lip hair is now GONE! And please click on Humor-Blogs so that my rating can go from bad to not so bad.

Pretty pleeease!