Does that mean "Sacred Blood"? Cuz I was going for "Holy Shit"."Anonymous said...
I find it offensive that you are over dramatizing your stomach flu when there are real people in the world suffering from terminal illnesses. You've had discomfort for a couple of days. So what? How about you get a life!
December 30, 2007 3:56 PM"
Dear anonymous, if the subliminal message I was sending with my last post was, "I have no sympathy for terminally ill people" I apologize.
The message I was trying to send but must have taken the wrong notes on "Subliminal Messaging 101" was: "Send me money."
I wonder if I misplaced a comma? That can make a world of a difference!
Anyway, won't you feel silly when you find out that I was at the brink of death. Will you feel bad when I tell you something happened to me that nearly made my eyes roll to the back of my head forever? Will I have your sympathy then? Because I really really want it.
Well, I'm gonna take my chances and tell you, hoping that you came back of course.
You see, even though I was better on Saturday, I still couldn't have the food I usually stuff myself with. Then!! Andy decided to order from my favorite pizza place (Giordano's) and order the most de-lish pizza in the world. When the aroma started floating to my little nose... [excuse me a second, I'm having a relapse ::shiver::]
Sorry about that, when I smelled the pizza, I nearly died knowing I couldn't have any!!
I. NEARLY. DIED.
Don't worry, you don't have to leave me an anonymous apology. I know you feel terrible.
......movin' on.......Well, I had plans to tell you guys that I have now put Archibald the Ugly out on the curb but I ran out of time!!
I also wanted to wish you guys a:
Happy New Year!!
But now I'm distracted.
Just so you guys know, 2008 is the year of the rat. Yours truly will have an awesome year! (Anonymous, that means: I. will. have. an. awesome. year.)
Oh my gawwwwd, Bee. I just read the comments from your last post. Is your toe Okay???? If you are diabetic then that toe could lead to a terminal illness!!!!!!!!!!I guess Oz could hack it off properly for you though.
ReplyDeleteI am so, sooooo sorrry.
Thanks for the concern jean knee, I'll be okay. I hope anyway because I lost lots of blood!
ReplyDelete(Anonymous, that does not mean I skin puppies alive)
Oh, my mistake. I am sending money immediately. It will give me something to do besides think of witty things to say to strangers on the internet.
ReplyDeleteJust for the record, she might actually skin puppies, I'd keep my dog in if I were you.
ReplyDeletefake:
ReplyDeleteYou are forgiven!!!
I'm being unplugged, bummer, chat tomorrow
ReplyDeleteJust those hairless ones jean knee.
ReplyDeleteL8TR
ReplyDeleteI bet Anon has never nearly died. like you did almost died Bee.
ReplyDeleteBoo hooo.
That's me weeping for you :'(
and you toe.
and the chilaquiles.
Anyway, Happy New year!!!
ReplyDeleteHope you are lots better and alive :)
I find it offensive that:
ReplyDelete(a) I'm not first
(b) You were careless enough to nearly die - what would we have done then (we'd have to replace you with an infinite number of monkeys)?
(c) Anonymous wants to deprive terminally ill people of a good laugh.
Have a safe New Year - and buy some steel toecaps.
Sorry B, but I have to agree with anonymous, there are so many bad things going on in the world and you cry that your tummy hurts !!!
ReplyDeleteThink of all the strarving people in Africa dying of AIDS !
Sorry, I'm too depressed too continue writing....too depressed, I'm gonna go hang myself now.
See you in the next one....
Dan
NCS:
ReplyDeleteThank you for your compassion. I too hope to spend next year a little more alive. Just a little bit more.
Brian:
a) Don't sleep.
b) Infinite number of monkeys? I'm so valuable!
c) I think Anon is deprived of many many things too. Like oxygen to the brain.
Dan:
Don't do it!! Can I tell you why?
I don't think we would meet up in the same place.
You are good and I am peanut butter.
You really need to stop this. There are people out there who are really suffering in this world, and you keep over dramatizing every day occurrences. You and your little pack of low IQ blog friends really need to get a life.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing a blog about me, I am flattered... and honestly, the truth is, you are pretty funny.
I will check later to see if you worte something else about me OK?
Anon:
ReplyDeleteIs a person with a high IQ able to spell correctly?
Last I checked “WORTE” was not a word. Or is it a new fancy word that people with high IQs only know? Let me see if I can find the definition.
WORTE: The human version of a wart. The human version of a boil? The human version of a pimple? Anonymous Commentators? French Fried Taters?
Thanks! I think I’m pretty funny too!
my subliminal message would be “all hot girls come to me”.
ReplyDeletethe other one would be “ANONYMOUS CAN LICK MY BALLS!”
maybe I should just come out and SAY it?
yeah, yeah say it.
ReplyDeleteyou never know when you will get a terminal illness and miss your chance
I almost died just reading about how you almost died.
ReplyDeleteDoes that entitle me to anything?
It's New Years Eve, Bee. I stuffed my familia full of homemade baked cheese sticks, and stuffed jalapeno peppers, and mariscos rolled up in foufy phyllo dough. Sabrosito!
ReplyDeleteAnd now we're going to go set stuff on fire.
Happy New Years Bee and Andy!!!!
We are a pack!
ReplyDeleteWe are little!!
We have low IQ!!
We need to get a life!!!
Happy New Year. Hope 2008 brings every day occurrences to a brand new level.