The payback for all my sins in 2007 (a little early I would say, there are still 4 days left in the year and I could do allot of damage in 4 days) was in the form of gut wrenching vomiting.
Hope you're not eating!
I was at the brink of death with a blinding red light shining behind my eyes (yeah it was red, did you think it would be white?)!
I came home at 2:30 pm on Wednesday went to bed at 3 and slept (with moments of puking in between) until 2:00 pm Thursday.
I got up, did some cleaning, took a shower, had some soup and then went back to sleep waking up again at 9:00 pm!
Who the hell sleeps that much?
Since I like learning from the horrible things that happen to me, I'm gonna tell you what I learned.
Ready?
1)
I can actually go more than 24 hours without eating and not die.
I'm surprised too! I always thought that I'd start wasting away to nothingness if I didn't eat every 6 hours or so. You can almost see my ribs! Almost. (if you squint your eyes and tilt your head sideways)
2)
The last thing I ate was Chilaquiles (cut up tortillas fried with salsa and cheese mmmm) made by my sister. I've discovered that they taste just as good coming up as they did going down. Only... a little bit spicier. Weird.
3)
You can simultaneously swear, vomit, slam your head against the medicine cabinet, hit your knee and have razor blades in your stomach without passing out. Good thing cuz I've never been a fan of sleeping on bathroom floors. Not saying I've never done it, just not a fan.
Hi-Ho Hi-Ho it's back to work I go!
vomiting is the best ab workout ever, if I vomited everyday I'd have a six pack.
ReplyDeleteDan
1. I once went for three days without food and didn't waste away either. I think it only works when you're ill, though.
ReplyDelete2. Second taste: There was a comedy sketch on TV here years ago about manners in a fictional country whre the ultimate compliment to the chef was to throw up, signifying that the food was so good you want to eat it all over again. Mmmmm...
3. Swearing and vomiting at the same time? Maybe you should become a ventriloquist. Though they only throw their voices.
1. i went ten days without food, I wasted away to nothing. I did drink those nasty ebsures so maybe that counts as food
ReplyDelete2.That's probably what happened after my guests ate their charred dinner, so I should take it as a compliment, huh? (brian's number two-----snicker)
3. totally unrelated__ Lean thinks you sent the dogs (Penny, Polka Dot) a Christmas card. she is sooo thrilled
Yay! You're back!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was pregnant with my oldest kid I got the weirdest cravings for honey roasted-peanuts/ grape juice combo. I discovered that barfing it up made my mouth taste just like I had eaten a PB&J sandwich.
YUM!
I agree with Dan. The last stomach bug I had (courtesy of the infectious spores that are my children) I had muscles aching in places I didn't know muscles were located. Maybe that should be the new diet! Something to think about.
ReplyDeleteAnd I couldn't believe that you though that stuff was still just as good coming back up! I threw up this soup that my mom used to make ten years ago and I still get sick to my stomach just at the smell of it!
Oh the chilaquiles.
ReplyDeleteOH NO.
Ok, I know I'm lame. I know I'm a whiner, I know all that.
ReplyDeleteI can't remember to check on your blog and Newsgator won't refresh it for me :( so I miss all your cool posts :(
WAAAAAH WAAAAAHHHH!