Thursday, December 11, 2008

Secret Santa Can Suck It! My gift to Magpie...

So... my unlucky victim is Magpie from Mine, by magpie since her blog is about her life and her beautiful crafts, I decided to try and make her something with my own hands.


I figured she would appreciate it more since the Holidays are all about the feelings and what not.

I went to Michael's and Joann Fabrics and picked up some glitter, tulle, M&Ms, a cat, some fishing wire, buttons, wiggly eyes, googly eyes (yes, there is a difference), a tomato, a slinky, 1/3 of a mask and some hot chocolate.

I took my goodies and sat at my peninsula, THE SAME ONE THAT HAS SOME OLD GLUE FROM A PREVIOUS "PROJECT", and started on my gift.

I decided to make her a puppet because I'm Ameri-Mexican.

Andy hated my first try. He said something about my mind and gutter but he was drinking scalding hot chocolate so he could have been high.


My next try was a little bit more ethnic but Andy said some dude named Jeff Dunham had one just like it.jose-jalapeno-puppet-of-jeff-dunham

He suggested I should look into my past and take inspiration from that.


Okay. Back to the sticky drawing board!

As I sewed and glued, cut and drank, swore and pierced, I realized I was beginning to lose my mind a little bit more. I found myself sticking my hand up the bums of old dolls and saying

"Will you be my puppet, poppet?' puppetgonecrazy


I was finally able to finish my masterpiece!

It's not as pretty as anything Magpie would make but I know she'll appreciate the blood, sweat and tears that went into making it.


Happy Holidays Magpie and you're Welcome!!


All the Secret Santa Can Suck It! participants are on my side bar. If you are one of them, go look for your *gift*!

And now I'm off to find some turpentine and a lighter... that gets rid of crazy glue on the skin, right?



  1. Bee, I am first! I just e mailed my link to you. I hope you got it. I never looked at the sidebar. Sorry. I like the present you made. Very homely, oops I mean homey. This was fun. You are the best!

  2. It even doubles as a Christmas stocking. How thoughtful you are...

  3. I'm betting Anthony Kiedis would love one.

  4. well talk about an over-achiever HOME-MADE? geesh pffft LOL Loved hope my SSCSI partner likes what I got...

    OH I had to abbreviate Secret santa can suck it...I am the Hostess for the secret santa soiree that wouldnt look very good if I had that as my to find who had my name

  5. I haven't seen one of those lil jalepenos forever, aah wonderful memories. hehe. :)

  6. Bee Dear,
    I almost forgot but then I remembered and now my post is up!!!

  7. Cool Bee...who did you steal this idea from?

  8. I like your idea better than the one I bit on this year. I'm still standing by my mailbox waiting for my secret santa gift to arrive. Could someone PLEASE come wipe the snow off of me and move me into the house? My arms and legs are numb. I'm typing this with my nose.

  9. omg, i feel so honored! hardly anyone makes ME things! but i have to ask, is that a mouth or blood from your pierced and superglued fingers????

    that first one was DIRTY!!! i heart it.

  10. well I have searched hi N lo but cant find my gift...figures i got a slacker...i kid i kid LOL it's prolly cuz i got my partner a foot flush

  11. Awww...she should be honored to have such an, erm, well crafted puppet! Was Andy mad that you used his best wool socks?!!

    Hope my gift recipient loves hers too!

  12. I can't wait to see what special thing I'll get..

    Maybe to make up for me being a day early, I'll get mine tomorrow?

    It would only be fair, after all!

  13. This is the funniest thing ever! What a great idea of a virtual aecret santa! Happy Holidays!

  14. Have you seen the p**is pillows for sale on etsy. I could totally see you making one of those. :-)

  15. That's talented! Now how do you get your shoes on over it?

    I've got some socks that need you do house calls?

  16. This was fun! If you guys don't get your gifts by 4pm, CST, email me so I can track them down. I'm having my Office Christmas party this evening so I might not respond until later this evening.

    Don, I stole the SS idea from my radio show and the puppet idea from yo' momma.

  17. You are so talented. I'm proud of your creation. I've got some leftover felt from a few failed projects. I'll send it your way for your next project.

  18. Is the Doll going through Chemo? Tell her I am praying for her. should like TOTALLY try out for next seasonn's Progect Runway. I would be happy to gove you a reference..just call!

  19. Very creative. I didn't know you were so handy.

    This was a great idea.

  20. found mine YAY I got my own starter biz LOL...I got mad skillz
    TY Bee this was fun...I think i made my way round to all the participants and at least said hello ;-)

  21. FINGER PUPPETS!!!!!!!!!!!

    i've very attracted to that first one. very... very attracted.

  22. I've looked through the list, and I can't find mine..

    But then again, like I said before, I don't mind if I get mine a day late, since I was a day early in posting!

    Thanks for the fun project Bee!

  23. I was surprise to see a couple of people on the list don't have posts...bummer to sign up and leave the giftee hanging. Even a lump of coal is better than nothing!

  24. Oooh, I think Jormenrund needs to look again... Certain Santas *are* busy people, ya know! Hehe.

    Bee! Such talent! Such grace! Such audacity... I mean courage... um... they're pretty puppets? Heh.

  25. Everyone knows that the home made gifts are the best! Not! :)

  26. what the heck is in that first one's mouth? Is that a mouth?

  27. Dang.....I'm gone for a week and no present for me. Goes well under my "fuck it" tree.

    Ooops, can I say "fuck it"?

    Your tree is BEE-utiful!

  28. Bee, your Secret Santa Can Suck It was a huge success, and the Humor Bloggers all seemed to really love it. Thanks so much!!! :D

  29. I fear the image of that puppet will haunt me in my dreams.

    Great idea and it was a lot of fun. You did a hell of a job with this thanks Bee:)

  30. Bee i guess if there is not be a post tomorrow we will know that your fingers are still glued together...i am sure even Martha has her moments.

    This has been so fun and being a new blogger it was neat to get out and troll some other blogs, i might not have been brave enough to visit on my own.

    Thanks for the great fun.

  31. ve: "I was surprise to see a couple of people on the list don't have posts...bummer to sign up and leave the giftee hanging. Even a lump of coal is better than nothing!"

    me: Hey ... I'll be happy to take one of the bloggers without a blogger santa.
    I don't even care if nobody has me.
    I'm a giver more than a getter.

    BTW ... Bee , you are very crafty.

  32. Hi Bee, I was wodering if you could add me tSecret Santa, andny other surpris things you do. Siren reommended you and I have to agree, your blog Rocks!

    Stop by sometime!

  33. Well Bee...that was awesome. I'm sure you are on the road seeking revenge on the couple that didn't participate. But even though I was like 3rd from last in a long list I had a LOT of new people show up. Great job...

  34. SO first I was sad I missed this.
    Then I was afraid.
    Then I was a little bit glad I did.

    The End.


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