Monday, December 29, 2008

A 3 year old who knows more swears than I do and the news of a comic strip. No, not a funny person stripping.

hmmmmmmmmm

uhmmmmmmm

::sigh::

There is a little dude running around the waiting room right now yelling "sheethole fockface" over and over. I had a near collision with him when I was on my way to the ladies so I'm guesstimating his age at 3 because he's short.

So, my questions are:

1) Why are the parents not muzzling him and/or tying him down somewhere?

2) Where did he learn such bad pronunciation of those precious swears?

3) Why not teach him more so he doesn't bore us with the same shit over and over?

The parents look to be about 18-20 so I'm thinking they know how to let loose with the f-bombs, is it too much to ask for them to be good parents and ask the kid to shut up if he can't say the words right?

Oh, the precious little lad just ran in here and said, you guessed it, "sheethole fockface" I didn't kick his ass because he was talking to the copy machine and the copy machine can be a sheethole fockface.

[above was written at about 2:30pm while I was at work, obviously it is not going on right at this second]

╗╝╗╝♥╗╝╗╝♥╗╝╗╝♥╗╝╗╝♥╗╝╗╝♥╗╝╗╝♥╗╝╗╝♥╗╝╗╝♥╗╝╗╝♥

The other day, don't ask me what day because they have all been the same to me once the temperature dropped below 40 degrees, I was watching the front desk for CL while she went to lunch. There were no patients since the docs were off so I was bored out of my ever loving mind.

When I'm bored, I write/scribble/doodle. I had nothing interesting to write about and I was done with scribbling weird things like, why is Keanu Reeves in so many movies if he has no expression on his face- EVER? and OMG I found Keanu's dad!

You know, things that didn't really lead to any posts so I started doodling.

When I was a teenage Bee, I loved to draw. I would draw Garfield, Snoopy, Face aka Templeton Peck aka Dirk Benedict from the A-Team, book covers that caught my eye, stuff like that.

TempletonPeckOne time, I was about 16, I showed my dad a drawing of Face and he said "Hmmm well, keep trying it doesn't look like total crap but I'm sure you can make it look better" or something along those lines. I put down my pencil and shelved yet another broken dream. Ha ha! Just kidding, it wasn't that serious. I just stopped drawing and thought about how my life might have turned out if my mom had gone out with and married her other serious suitor, the ice cream vendor.

loveisAnyway, one of the things I loved to draw were those naked "love is…" people but I'd draw them with clothes on and nicer bodies. That was my skill, to make the world decent and better looking.

When I doodle, I go back to those naked people and draw something similar. That day I drew a little cartoon and tried to make it look kind of like me but I have better hair.

I didn't like my first try since it looked like I had a Quagmire chin instead of boobs.cell 12.19.08 011

My second try was this.

cell 12.19.08 012

I had no neck. You know what? I guess my pops was right!

Anyway, once I re-sketched it and got it how I wanted, I was going to scan it so I could put it up on my sidebar with a little caption. Maybe the weird thoughts that run through my mind when I don't have the filter on?

But then I started thinking.

While the smoke was coming out of my ears for overexerting my 6 brain cells, I started to get the idea that Andy and I should start a comic strip here at the Blogus. We'd take a regular, every day blow out fight difference of opinion and put it to a comic strip.

I'm including Andy in my little project for 2 reasons, he draws way way way better than I do and he is the cause of all many of my headaches even though he denies it.

I thought it would be fun to post it every Sunday and we'd call it "Bee n' Andy: Married and sometimes, still in love…" because it's true. We are always married and sometimes still in love. Other times we wrestle like a couple of alligators fighting over a tourist leg.

When I brought the idea to Andy, he laughed and then saw I was serious -seriously going to kick his ass for laughing- so he asked "What if we run out of stuff to comic-strip about?" my turn to laugh because he and I will never ever run out of inane things to argue about. Never.

That might sound a little sad and if I were you, I'd think we needed marriage counseling but when you are on this side of the fence, you know it's totally normal and even healthy-ish.

So yeah, stay tuned for the Sunday comics here at Bee's Musings.

P.S.

Stop staring at my boob-chin!

Humor-Blogs

23 comments:

  1. I hate everyone today(night). I just wanted you to know.

    Pass the heroin.

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  2. Well, it's not my first choice, but if it involves you and "strip" in the same sentence, I can live with it.

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  3. I suspect Keanu Reeves went to the same school of acting as Hugh Grant...

    I'm looking forward to you doing weekend posts.

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  4. if anything.. the comic strip will help you laugh those headaches away! :p

    As for the critter swearing.. hilarious, but certainly glad it's not one of my boys! LOL

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  5. BOOB-CHIN!!!! Now that is gonna make eye contact a whole lot easier.

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  6. LMAO!!!!

    That's a great idea!!!!!

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  7. Now that we've cleared up the boob-chin issue, what's with the bird feet? Is your father Howard the Duck?

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  8. Suzy:
    Heroin is too rough on my tummy. I'd rather pass the joint so we can mellow out, man.

    HumorSmith:
    Ha ha! I'm sure you got a million of 'em! (:op

    Brian:
    Brian, Brian, Brian. Hugh Grant has a bunch of facial expressions. There is the "Huh?" one "Me?" "Why?" "Look at me looking cute" etc. Keanu just has the "Whoa" face. Brian.

    Also, thanks and I hope it will be fun. I'm going to have to start instigating fights again.

    Chica:
    I'm hoping they will go away. ;o)

    Orion:
    Stop staring at it!

    Nancy:
    Thanks! :o)

    Human:
    Well, I'm not good at drawing feet and it was an emergency. I didn't want to topple over. Besides, I'm not sure what kind of feet bees have.

    P.S.
    Stop staring at the boob chin!

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  9. Hey Bee?

    If you decide to, ask the plastic surgeon for Charleton Heston's chin..

    That way, your boobs might get even bigger!

    Oh, and a solution to the chicken feet:

    Just grow da butt.

    Easy, and you absolutely don't have to exercise to get that look going!

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  10. Oh...it's commenting time...sorry, I got distracted with your boob chin...

    You are about to be removed from my blog roll!!! It’s nothing personal…I’m restarting for 2009 this Thursday. Were you at the top of the list in 2008? If not, here’s your chance to be. A single comment gets you on my blog roll. Keep commenting and you’ll stay at the top. Hope to see you in 2009!

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  11. The boob chins are mesmerizing. I've just self-deprechated in my pants, so to speak. Sorry. Happy New Year Bee!

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  12. Oh the Horror. I absolutely loathe those Love Is... things. So much that I nearly couldn't finish reading the post but then I did and now I can't wait for Sunday.

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  13. I love the comics idea! Seeing your arguments illustrated will be funny times 2! When I argue with my boyo I sometimes think of it in a very Bee fashion and say to myself, "Bee would understand, Bee would know what I'm taking about."

    YAY!

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  14. OMg.. I have the same loathing for Keanu's acting (I use that term loosely). My bf sent me a cartoon that showed a pair of eyeballs on the ground surrounded by sawdust with the caption 'this was all that was left of Keanu when the termites were done with him.'

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  15. C'mon, you KNOW it has to be about a superhero with chinboobs who puts the world to rights with ... boobs on her chin!

    It's the only way forward!

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  16. Jorm:
    No way dude, the badonkadonk is big enough.

    VE:
    Stop with your whoring ways!

    Self-D:
    Ha ha! And that was for free.

    jean knee:
    JEAN KNEE!!! HOW CAN YOU HATE THE NAKED PEOPLE?
    They had a whole bunch of reasons for why love is.
    I'm looking forward to you coming over on Sundays.

    Ceci:
    We are united by salditos and tamarindos!

    Phoenix:
    That must have been one awesoem cartoon! I don't understand why I keep going to see his movies and worse buying them! I blame Andy.

    Chris:
    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA HAAHAHAHA HA... HAA BWAHAHAHAHA!!

    Okay, I'm making you creative director!

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  17. Va-va-va-voom, whoah!!! Nice....chin(s) Bee! Love the comic strip idea. If you should run out of ideas, I can give you some from my marriage. Hell, our neighbors could give you some from the yelling matches we've had outside. ;)

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  18. Do your drawrings ever come true? Because I'd like to meet Ms. Boobilicious over there.

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  19. Cameron:
    Thanks but we're set for ideas... unfortunately. ;o)

    FM:
    Yeah but she has bug eyes. Don't even tell me a paper bag would work!

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  20. was that kid's name vincent by any chance? sounds just like my ex-neighbors' kid.

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  21. My cats just gave me a weird look because I was laughing so hard over the "sheathole fockface" joke about the copy machine. A perfectly delivered punchline. Kudos and a stumble for that.

    Thanks, I needed to laugh like that.

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  22. Oh! That Keanu's dad is on Days of Our Lives. I use to watch it about 15 years ago. So I'm guessing the plastic surgery has left him expressionless.

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  23. Uh, hmmm. Chicken legs?
    I am scared.

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Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.