I went on a date on Friday night. If you have been here a time or two, you know that I normally do not go out late... or on dates for that matter but this blue eyed charmer talked me into going out him.
Now, before you go running and tell Andy, HE is the blue eyed charmer.
We decided to break our first-showing-matinee-movie-and-lunch outings and join the young 'uns who dare go out after 6pm. To celebrate this momentous occasion, I wore a nice pair of black pants, my soft purrty brown cashmere sweater and some killer brown shoes. I perfumed up, painted my face and tried my best to be passable to the eye.
Andy on the other hand.
"Should I shower?"
Ummm babe? You work in construction and wear a filthy hat but if you just want to wear your work clothes and bring your tool belt? Be my guest.
That was me at my most passive aggressive but it seemed to work because he took a shower AND EVEN PUT ON COLOGNE! Yeah it was a special treat.
On the way to the fine dining which is Mandarin Cuisine, I decided to take a picture of my newly dyed hair sans RED streaks (I heard the fairies crying). I took a few and then I noticed Andy's funky face in the background and nearly peed myself laughing!
This, ladies and gents, is why I keep him on the payroll.
I know I look like an albino in that picture but I HOPE I'm not THAT white! Anyway, notice no more red. [insert "OH NOs" here]
We arrived at the restaurant where we were greeted by a 3 nippled golden monkey dragon. He let us through once we answered his riddle.
You know, Andy never ceases to amaze me. He can say the sweetest things to me and remain humble about them. For example, after I spilled my Coke and he asked "what did you do?" without moving an inch and just allowed the wait staff to come to the rescue and help me clean it up. He then further made my toes curl by saying "If this was our first date I wouldn't have called you for another one".
Yeah! He said that! I don't make this shit up people!
I replied that I would have turned right around after seeing his goofy hair (IT'S LONG AGAIN!) without even giving him a chance. You see, that is how we interact with each other. We were friends before we started going out so the taunting has now been perfected. I for one think it's healthy.
Once my tea arrived I was back to my mellow self, soda disaster semi-forgotten until...
... they brought my replacement soda! Andy decided to place it in front of him with the straw pointing at me. When I wanted to take a drink, he would slide it towards me while holding on to the bottom of the glass. Who else thinks he was overreacting?
Then I got distracted by my food arriving. Mmmmmm funky smelling food that tastes delicious!
(The one with the orange? That's Orange Chicken Brian.)
At the end of the meal (I brought home most of my food because they give you enough of it to feed a family of 7 AND their pets), we were brought our fortune cookies. Mine said "Opportunity awaits you next Monday"... unfortunately, I'm confused as to what Monday. If it were tomorrow, wouldn't it have said "this coming Monday"? Or did it just mean the NEXT Monday in my life? Stupid fortune cookies ruining my life! Now I'm going to be freaking out looking over my shoulder! Andy's said "Fortune will smile upon you", I predict great things for the Cor-Rut family.
Even though technically we were going out for Andy's birthday, we went to see my Brad in Burn After Reading. I'm not sure if the critics liked or hated this movie but we thought it was hilarious! (No, I'm not biased because my beautiful Brad is in it, it really was funny!)
And so ended my date. All in all I give it a 7 out of a possible 10 because he only let me get to 3rd base.
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