Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Well, I love stuff and you love stuff but do you love stuff like I love stuff??

I have been blessed ladies and gentlemen.

Please read this post in awe of the love shown and brought forth on to me. I will pass on the love but in my own little typical way. My love is not gooey or chewy and/or syrupy. Is syrupy the same as gooey??


First, Georgie from Decisionally Challenged has sent me a Pay It Forward act of kindness package. I call it a blogger care package. I'll be ready to write down whatever pops into my head as soon as it does before it leaks out! Yeah baby!

Sorry about the picture but lighting is a commodity I don't have in this here Electrician's house.

I will pay it forward as follows, I will write down everybody who comments on this post, put the names in a hat and choose one randomly. That person will get a small gift from me without me expecting anything in return. Nothing. Don't even worry about my birthday coming up on November eleventh. No worries. ;o)



Then, Heinous at Irregrilurly uh Irregilurly um IRREGULARLY PERIODIC RUMINATIONS (damn! hard to do while drinky drinky!) gave me a Kreativ Blogger Award and I have to assume it's due to my mispells and what-not. THANKS HEINOUS! You guys should go check out his blog because his church visits have me in stitches!

The rules are: List 6 things I love and then pass it on to 6 people.




Luckily, I love more than 6 things but I'll try not to be too effusive.

ONE!-
I love how my boss is arrogant enough to think we have it good working for him so we'd never look for another job. It's probably because the majority of the people who work here have been at the Asylum since Moses was looking for the exit sign in the desert. He assumes we are all doormats with the ability to absorb shit off his shoes as he walks on us. To him I say "Fuck you and the egg you rode on. Asshole!"

TWO!-

I love how I'm an old, one wrinkle, lady (I use the term loosely) and am breaking out like if I were a 15 year old on a binge diet of chocolate, fritos and french fries! I can deal with gray hairs and one wrinkle but pimples and zits?? Whoever invented this getting old thing can kiss Tazz's ass!

THREE!-

I love how the attorney I just spoke to found a new way to "caution" me by saying he was going to call the news channels so they may do a report on surgeons gauging their patients. Me? On TV? Really? Can you wait until I have my new hairdo? Maybe then I can tell the news people how the doc rebuilt the patient a-la the bionic man and isn't charging him a million dollars for it. I'm sure it would make sense to then bill $0 but he does have my exorbitant salary to pay so fuck you rat-bastard turd brain.

FOUR!-

I love how Diesel over at Humor-Blogs has deemed my blog PG due to "coarse language and mature themes". Dude! PG?? What the fuck does a bitch have to do to make her fuckin' blog rated NC-17 or at least R? You are messing with my rep. And mature themes? Which ones might those be? The ones where old people grab my boobs and flash me their whities? I won't stand for this shit I hope you know! I was already trying to spice up my blog to a higher rating so now I'll be even more determined!

FIVE!-

I love how I am constantly being bombarded by Obama's campaign.

DON'T GET ALL POLITCAL ON ME M'MKAY??
I'm not saying I'm for or against the guy since I deem that as none of your beezwax. I just don't like my TV time interrupted by a half hour 250 million dollar commercial. Especially considering we're still trying to put our lives back together after The Flood of 2008. Now, if they would have sent me personally a portion of those $250 million, I wouldn't be bitchin' and moanin'.

Am I saying you can buy my vote? If you were smart enough to crack that code, you deserve a scoop of cottage cheese.

What was I talking about? Oh right! It's nice to see we have our priorities straight.
SIX!-

I love how a simple statement at work will get me in trouble:

"Toto, I think you need to shut off the copier and wait 10 seconds for it to reset before you turn it back on" (after a paper jam) Milton then says "I believe it's 20 seconds" walks over, pulls out the manual, reads it for about 10 minutes and determines that yes indeedy! 20 seconds is the way to go! Good to know!

BONUS!-

I love how I never do things the way the rules indicate. I think it's part of my charm, don't you??

The six peeps I will pass it on too aaaaare...

jean knee for her kick ass Etsy store.

Tracy because she'll kick me to the bottom if I don't.

Brian because he never accept awards so I have to find the right one he'll accept.

AngieSS because she has a talent for banners and pictures.

VE because he is insane. No, really! He is! He'll deny it but don't be swayed by his very hot avatar!


Mike because he draws monkeys and the pink would go awesome with his decor. And also, he smells funny.

That's six, right?

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LAST BUT NOT LEAST!

I was Tag Teamed HERE by Chelle B. and Chat Blanc AKA Sandy.
Go read them talk about how awesome I am. It's all totally true you know.
(BTW, they posted a picture of my hairy unshaved leg in a pink rubber boot!)




Phew! I'm tired.

Here is something else you guys can help me with. On Saturday, day of the Lord November first, I will be chopping off my hair. It will be gone. GONE! Please vote on the style I should choose. It will go on the sidebar by the morning.


Humor-Blogs

32 comments:

  1. Do you know how long it's been since I was first here!??!

    FIIIRRRRSSSTTT!!

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  2. It's been a damn long time!

    My birthday is November 15! Ain't no birthday like a November birthday! Hey! Ho!

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  3. NOOO!!!
    I was going to be numero uno.

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  4. If you are going to be on TV (!) I vote you get #2

    I see that hair style is not winning in the polls, but hey, it's too close to call.

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  5. Yes! A Milton story.
    That takes the sting of not being First.

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  6. There's something wrong with your voting widget - it won't let me vote for "green spiky with blue highlights"...

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  7. If you are on TV with the new 'do, make sure you have on your Humor Bloggers Dot Com bra for some free exposure.

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  8. My birthday is November 17th...like a different kind of girl said.. no birthday like a Novemember Birthday!
    I think you should definetly need to cut your hair in style #1! So when's the give away? LOL

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  9. Heya Bee!

    I'm trying to figure something out here..

    So, you abandon us all yesterday, and then think that going overboard today will make up for it?

    Well, it did!

    Great post!

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  10. Bee! I have to warn you about a couple a things here.

    1.I asked for a cross between the top and bottom pictures and I got a chili bowl hair cut. I was scared to ask her to do it differently cuz I hardly had any hair left.

    2. WTF was I thinking?? It is Fall and cool temperatures are here and so now like a dumbass I have a bare neck. I've been looking at kick mass neck warmers but they cost as much as a sweater. Do you knit??

    All I'm saying is proceed with caution. I like the bottom picture the best.

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  11. I thought this was rated 'G' perhaps my perceptions are skewed.

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  12. I've had the bottom one before and it's great beacause you just blow it dry on low while occasionally running your fingers through it and that's it. You never even use a brush. I haven't brushed my hair in three years.

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  13. Oooh, I would love your junk. Love it.

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  14. Beeeeee thanks for the award.

    It's not often that I get called "Kreativ" -- outside of the bedroom I mean! :D

    I shall acknowledge your acknowledgement post haste, or when I think of something funny to say, or when I get around... you know me, I can be a real slacker -- but, I do that creatively as well!!! hehehe

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  15. I pick number 4!!! And with huge fake boobs, who's gonna care what your hair looks like.

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  16. The little kit is a pretty good idea.

    And don't worry, I break rules too. It makes life fun.

    Also, try harder with that NC-17 rating. may I suggest huge pictures of old man balls?

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  17. First of all, Thank you for the award, my dear Bee. I will display it on my blog with pride and will do the post thingy tomorrow with the six things I love.
    I do have to ask, are the things that we list supposed to all be sarcastic? Like "I love how old people drive"? Yours all sounded sarcastic, but I don't know, maybe you really do truly love these things.
    I voted on the hair. What has caused this decision to chop it all off? You haven't falled off your rocker or anything have you?
    Seriously?
    I had really long hair like yours and then I had my second baby and had a touch of post partum depression, and by "touch" I mean I was totally wacko, and I went and cut it off to almost the boy length picture you have.
    So that's why I'm asking.
    And I would really love a package from you..hint hint....and you already have my address so it wouldn't be a lot of trouble for you...hint hint...

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  18. Style 4, all mussed up like a true Bee.

    20 seconds on the copier, eh? I was only waiting 15. THANK YOU!!

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  19. Although number 3 looks promising, I'm gonna say 4.

    What?

    Oh the poll is for your hair.....

    (I still say 4)

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  20. But that's damn nice of you to leave me an award. It will be mentioned in my post and linked up all nice an pretty. Of course you know...I don't display awards on my blog. I'm all about You, you know!

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  21. I'd vote for Number 3 if I could figure out how to vote. Its short and easy to take care of so you'd have more time to blog.

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  22. you are sooooo brave to cut off your hair! I can't wait to see what look you go with. :)

    by the way, I so relate to #2 on your list. it's just fucked up!

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Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.