Sunday, October 12, 2008

Behold! My Saturday. [I wonder if I can find an exciting life on Craig's List.]

Okay, so yeah. My lame Saturday as per my promise to participate in Mrs. G's, from Derfwad Manor, play by play chronicling.

I forgot to charge the batteries in my camera so all the photo-chronicling is done via Scarlett.

I know I'm always bragging about how exciting and awesome my life is and you guys are always jealous and want to be me so this might disappoint you a little.

6-ish:
At the butt crack of dawn, the dogs must go out and do their thing! Bastards!


While waiting for the dogs to finish up whatever it is dogs doo-doo, I went and congratulated my friend Brian for his Blogaversary. One whole year!

He did a day in the life of too. His was very well written and puts mine to shame TO SHAME I tell you!



After the dogs came inside, I went back to bed.

8:40:
We heard the doorbell and jumped out of bed. It was my Father-In-Law Jahnnie. He came to help Andy with the demolition of the laundry room.

He kept wondering why the hell we were still in bed. Well pops, none of your beezwax! ;op


8:50
Then I held one of our stools while Andy did the electrical thing he does where he fixes lights by magic. Well, that is to say, ONE light since the kitchen is the only place where I have good lighting.



9:00 AM
I finally had my coffee! Damn! I don't know how people expect me to function without it!
My mom was there too but she said I'd have to give her money to post her picture. I'm cheap.



10:00 AM

Yawned, did some contemplating "I wonder who would win if a spider fought one of those giant mosquitoes. My money is on the spider. Okay a spider against a scorpion. The scorpion would shred the spider to pieces. Stupid spiders! Should I cut my hair next weekend? I wonder if I'll be brave enough to cut it short? ..."



11:00
Did some gardening. Whereas I contemplated genetically enhancing the stupid spiders so they could kill the squirrels that are digging up my garden.



12:00PM
Took a shower. If you are picturing me naked, you are only harming yourself.




12:30PM
Ordered pizza and had this convo:

Bee:
Do you guys deliver to my house? ... But we're really close! ... It will take you about 10 minutes. ... Fine! I'll go pick it up!



1:00 PM
Went to pick up my very delicious pizza that is totally worth breaking my *no driving on the weekend* rules. I figured I should go since Andy was pulling out moldy drywall.


The hat and I came back exactly 10 minutes later. Dumbasses!!

1:13
We had our lunch.

2:00PM
Since my man was working so hard, I decided to be productive and reorganize my closet AGAIN.



2:07PM
Got bored and went to read my Glam Mag.


2:08 PM
Became very confused when I noticed how blurry it was! Thought to self "WTF! I pay good money for this Jane wanna be and they give me blurriness??"



2:08 and some seconds PM
Turned the page and found out they were 3D pages! Scoffed! Give me a break Shark Jumpers! 3D?? What am I? FIVE??

2:08 and some more seconds PM
Decided that from now on, I want to read everything only in 3D.

2:30-3ish (lost track of time)
Blogged stalked.


3-ishPM
Andy made me go with him to the supermarket. ::sigh::
On the way there, I bent iron and concrete-like things.



3:45PM
Waited for Andy to buy cheese or whatever you get in a deli.



Andy is the one in red.

3:46PM
Saw a football shaped sausage. Laughed.



4:30PM

Put groceries away. Sorry, as exciting as it was, I forgot to take a picture.

4:45PM

Finished organizing my closet so that I may...

5:30PM
... Nap.



7:30 PM

Woke up, thought it was Monday and I was running late again! Realized it was still Saturday, did a victory dance, reheated pizza. Ate it.



9:00PM
Ordered Sex in the City.

I know I know, I suck. I was bored and couldn't decide what movie to watch. I wasn't a fan of the show so don't get mad when I say it was just okay.
SJP is not one of my favorite people and her face makes me want to become a lobbyist and bribe congress so they may pass a law that ugly people should wear masks.
I'll never understand how she became a star.

Wow. That sounded really mean. And now you're thinking I hate ugly people because I went on a rant about Paul Giamatti. No, I don't hate ugly people. I'm sure they're nice.

11:59PM
Bee go sleepy night night.

§↔§↔§↔§↔§↔§↔§↔§↔§↔§↔§↔§↔§↔§↔§↔§↔§↔§↔


I JUST REALIZED! I didn't go poopsie the whole day (jean knee!)! That's because ladies don't do dirty things like that.

I hope you enjoyed the look into my lame-o life. Now you know why I blog.

Humor-Blogs

34 comments:

  1. i am glad you are an equal opportunity ugly hater-well at least you dont hate on us FUGLY'S-cuz i am super NICE!

    That pizza looks friggin awesome

    oh and i agree with you about the movie my bestie drug me to the movie opening weekend during a tornado-I dont even like sex that much!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I almost passed out from excitement.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's far more interesting than my day. and in 3D as well! Amazing...

    What was the significance of the hat? Do you use that to keep the pizza warm, or is that part of your disguise to fool the paparazzi?

    ReplyDelete
  4. LMAO...this was just too much excitement for me. I'm just exhausted thinking about your busy, hectic day. hehehe

    p.s. that pizza looked good

    p.s.s. I ordered the same movie Saturday -- I cried 3 times -- I know, I'm psychotic that way!

    Really Bee, that post was so much fun -- thanks for the laugh -- I need it, it's Monday. Bleh!

    ReplyDelete
  5. This was oddly voyeristic for me. I love your father-in-law. Your day was much more fun than mine. You pizza was more delightful looking than mine too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Football shaped sausage!! Whoa!

    ReplyDelete
  7. That's a pretty action packed day. Shopping? Pizza? Photos? I'd be exhausted.

    ReplyDelete
  8. so... the football shaped sausage is pork or beef?

    ReplyDelete
  9. That's a great hat, just keep it away from the squirrels.

    Hey, I am really nice. Oh, that fugly goes straight to the bone. I'll stalk you though, no worries.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yum...I love pizza. We are getting it here at work today for lunch. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. I had Sex in the city yesterday...I meen saw.

    ReplyDelete
  12. dang it Bee, I was really counting on the crap play by play.



    I blew your day out of the water-I took Penny to a dog wash
    Yeah I know you already read about it but your readers will want to know of my exciting Sat. I'm sure of it

    ReplyDelete
  13. P.S. Kashi Go Lean Crunch will take care of any irregularity

    ReplyDelete
  14. We have similar intellectual arguments at our house--replace the spider and mesquito with Superman and Batman. Good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Gaad...that's just really sick that you actually held one of your stools. I hope you washed immediately afterwards...

    ReplyDelete
  16. I like how you did this..Pretty cool, but now I want some pizza.

    ReplyDelete
  17. That was one seriously funny day. Love the football sausage.

    Another reason to boycott GLAMOUR... again.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Was Andy rocking the track pants AND a cowboy hat at the deli counter? That is freakin' awesome!

    I have to make dinner now. Do you have any of that awesome looking pizza left?

    ReplyDelete
  19. So glad I'm not the only person who doesn't get the whole SJP thing. I felt so vindicated last year when Maxim designated her the ugliest woman in show-biz. Mwahahahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Well gee Bee, it's the at-work posts I come for :P.
    J/K!
    Sometimes you have to have the normal, I did nothing exciting, get pizza days. I cherish the ones I have.
    Why don't I have more?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Geesh, it sounds like you just described my day, except for the hubs did tiling instead of electric work. He is not good with electric! NOT GOOD!
    Bee, I love ya and think you're exciting even if you aren't exciting.
    And I agree, I too am a lady and ladies do not go make like that!
    And that pizza looks soooo good!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Georgie:
    lol! I'm sure you're not ugly! The pizza is THE BEST JERRY!

    Humor:
    ... [I'd say more but you'd faint]

    Brian:
    I know! I'm psyched about the 3D!

    The hat represents my face.

    Angiesssssss:
    Thanks Angie, and um I waited for you on chat and you left me stranded with crazy people. Craaazy people.

    Jen:
    Did you enjoy my shower shot?

    G:
    I know! The modern wonders do not cease to amaze me!

    Chris:
    I was! That's why I needed a nap. Andy was busy too but he wasn't as tired, weird...

    Anndi:
    Beeeeef!

    Heinous:
    Shaddup! You ain't as heinous as you pretend! I'm sure you're nice.

    Jacki:
    I hadn't had pizza since the flood. This one was all melty in my mouthy!

    Dan:
    Gross.

    jean knee:
    Sorry. :o( I'll take that Kashi ASAP for my AS and P!

    I don't believe you! Maybe next take pictures.

    ASP:
    hey! Wasn't SJP in Sqaure Pegs?? ;o)

    Mrs. G:
    This was fun! Thanks for asking us to play along.

    VE:
    Um, sicko! I don't touch my stool without gloves.

    Dani C:
    Thanks! Pizza is always yumm-o.

    Saucy:
    Thanks! If I were to buy that sausage, I wouldn't eat it.

    FADKOG:
    He was mocking me. He said I was cowgirl-ing-up so he was going to cowboy-up.
    He looks fierce!
    Come on over for pizza!

    Marie:
    My radio station said her face looks like a foot. And it does.

    JT:
    Stay tuned! :o)
    The day made me sleepy.

    Pizza:
    Tracy, I'm moving my house to Rambling Acres. Make a space for me will ya'? :o)

    ReplyDelete
  23. That is too exciting for me. I usually just watch football in either clean clothes or PJs on saturdays, haha. Well, to be fair, my college days were much more *ahem* interesting.

    buzz buzz

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh. That football sausage was just really disturbing to me, for some reason.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Just so you know, Bee, SJP is (was?) DYNAMITE from the neck down - that's how she became a star. And why she doesn't have to organize her own closet. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  26. I'm disappointed Bee,

    I mean, I'd had you built up as some super-robo mom, and come to find out that....

    You're even COOLER than I imagined!

    Great post, and many more happy returns on them!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I thought those pizza slices were raw steaks!

    I also think SJP can be very pretty.

    Perhaps I need glasses.

    Back to the wrinkles story. I'm 48years old. People often think I'm under 30, or even younger. Until I smile. :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Haha Bee.

    "poopsie"

    Dont tell me you are obsessed with your bowels just like my grandmother?

    ReplyDelete
  29. LOL- "shark-jumpers". Seriously, though? 3-D is like my favorite D. I don't know why ALL movies aren't 3D.

    ReplyDelete
  30. LMAO. This is the best day I've read yet.

    I totally understand that waking up and thinking it's tomorrow.

    That football sausage was funny.

    Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Fly:
    I haven't had a PJ day in a long time. :o(

    MM:
    I don't like sausage but if I did... ;o)

    Bill:
    Yeah, she does have a nice body. She's a butherface.

    Jormengrund:
    (:-O I don't have kids. But I am pretty cool! :o)

    Teri:
    She had one moment in the movie where I didn't think she was so bad but then I realized she had a ton of make-up on.

    I would never give up smiling, something tells me neither would you. :o)

    Sarah:
    No, but my friend jean knee is. She's weird.

    Sue:
    Yup! My first 3D movie was Jaws.

    Deirdre:
    Thanks! My husband was laughing at me when I thought I was late for work. He's a big meanie!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Holy shit are you boring! I was hoping read about dirty girl on girl sex. You could have at least described the pizza for me.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I love every single one of your posts. Even the ones where you are mad and hate on ugly people.

    BUT this post: I LOVE this post.
    I love it.

    Will this be a regular feature?

    ReplyDelete

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.