After reading that, you are probably thinking "Oh good! Bee's in a great mood and it's about time! I'm tired of her constantly w h i n i n g!"
Yeah, dream a little dream, people!
Do you guys know who Gandhi was? Apparently he was some dude who was always peaceful and I believe he won a peace prize for not losing his shit (I can't be bothered to look him up so if you know more about him and I got any of it wrong, don't correct me because you'll only anger the beast)(thanks). Well, even that guy would go apeshit at the Asylum. He would probably hide under people's desks and slash their ankles with a sharpened calculator! … Not that I've EVER thought of doing that… nope.
Weirdly, my relationship with the attorneys I have to deal with has gotten better. I don't know if word has gotten out about my MAD negotiating skillz or what but I now get nice, even tempered requests to go fuck myself as opposed to those rage filled tirades. I call that progress! Yay me!
You know what I've learned here at Arkham Asylum and will be careful not to repeat when I find another job? Now listen up people because this is very important. Your mental well being might hinge on this piece of information I'm about to impart. Are you ready?
No mater what— NO MATTER WHAT!!! Never EVER volunteer to do anything!
If you are trying to fit in and have people think you are one of the good guys STOP!
Let's say you just started working at a place and they just opened a Subway across the lot and your Office Manager asks if anyone would mind going across to get the boss a sandwich, do not (NO!) DO NOT take pity on the old decrepit crones and say "Oh, I'll go.".
If you do, you will forever be known as the dog who goes and fetches. And the times you say no? Woo boy! It'll be like you just told them you filled their gas tank with sugar.
If, for example, your job description does not say you have to relieve the receptionist but you think "Meh, I should volunteer so that everybody is equally watching the front desk. What can it hurt?"
For the love of peaches!! STOP!!
What will happen is that they will EXPECT you to KNOW everything there is about that desk. They will EXPECT you to ALWAYS be the one to be her back up even on Fridays.
You remember Fridays, right? The days you are already stressed to your eyelashes because you have to meet with a demanding boss who will give you a list of accounts that'll have you scurrying and then just want to talk about how nutritious Cheerios are. Really? Lower your cholesterol you say? May reduce the chances of a heart attack or heart disease.
Well, sign me up for a fuckin boatload there sparky because MY heart is doing all kinds of funny things right now! Oh what pretty dots I see.
Uh, but I'm not bitter.
*Bats is what I call
My 36th birthday is rapidly approaching. It hopped on a jet and will be landing on my head faster than I can say "What The Fu-"!
(THAT'S THE BIG THREE SIX PEOPLE!)
Last year, I started bitching about it in August. You've been lucky so far.