Friday, February 6, 2009

Tracy's questions about my bed, feet and boobs answered all in one post.

So… Tracy had a series of questions after the last "A&B" installment.

comic strip sleeping 1 

I can understand the awe inspiring curiosity since I am a pretty interesting person that puts her pants on TWO legs at a time! Yeah! Take that Angelina Jolie!! Anyway, here we go.

Q.

What size is your bed???

A.

Queen size. The reality is, it is big enough for both of us to sleep comfortably and yet, only one of us does. We've slept on king size beds before but guess what happens? I wind up in a space of about 8 inches to sleep on leaving my boobs hangin' in mid air. Poor boobies.

Q.

And is that your phone on your nighstand?

A.

Yup! Like I said before, it goes with me wherever I go. Where do you put yours at night?

Q.

And do you really sleep with a teddy bear?

A.

I sure do! I've had George for 21 years. Andy gets jealous of him sometimes and will throw him overboard.

Q.

And are your socks really that teeny tiny?

A.

Yeah, I don't like those 70 style socks up to my knees. I wear the ones that reach my ankles. And dress socks for work.

Q.

If so, what size are your feet??

A.

Size 6 ½ or 7 depending on the shoe. I will also buy 7 ½ if they're on sale even if they're too big.

 

Also, I can't move over to his side as per your suggestion because I have difficulty getting up and down on his side of the bed.

comic strip sleeping 4

It would be like Biazarro and Superman trading dimensions.

There you have it Tracy, your questions answered.

In other news. I'm mad at the Yoga Pants Making Makers. I bought a few pairs of them because they fit great and were perfect and then I washed/dried them and now I look like this:

highwaters

Bastards.

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Please check out Dani's "The 5 minute Mom makeover, ghetto fabulous MILF".You want to look good, dontcha!

29 comments:

  1. Cool answers.

    And I guess you can make the Yoga pants capris now.

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  2. Second! Ha-ha! Take that world!

    (does victory lap of own ego, gets exhausted 1/4 way round, lies down)

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  3. So, you keep your phone in your socks, your boobs in your teddy bear ... hang on, I think I misread all that. Ah well!

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  4. I shall ban all yoga pants in your honor. Damn things are just too short to start with!

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  5. nice. although, we part ways on the socks. i like em to go up as high as they will.

    1) it's freaking cold out and i have to walk outside and wait for the bus.
    2) i wear high boots and if i wear short socks, it's very itchy.

    and i have THE SAME problem with the effing yoga pants. it takes me RIGHT back to the days of grade school and being very poor and never having pants long enough for my giraffe long legs. "where's the flood". ha. soooo original. thanks for the mental scarring.

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  6. haha... that's awesome.
    maybe your pants are a warning of flood? no, wait.. that already happened.

    ummm... nice socks.

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  7. I agree with Orion..

    The pants are there for when your next flood hits, so at least you're prepared, right?

    Why not stuff George behind Andy's back at some point? I mean, it'll be like wheel chocks on a trailer. Make it more difficult for him to roll over and knock you off the bed (maybe).

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  8. all my pants are too short, what's that about?

    the only way to get them close to long enough is to buy them in the teen dept. but then your ass crack hangs out and who wants to see that?

    no one

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  9. You could try stretching them when they're wet, or get some material of a completely different colour and sew it on for that contemporary "stylish" look...

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  10. I'm referring to the trousers, of course...

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  11. this is why i do not dry my yoga pants...

    and OMGawd that Video...blue eyeshadow and bling bling so one can get laid toooo funny!

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  12. are you sure you didn't get taller?

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  13. I think I missed the question (or answer) about your boobs. ;-)

    For yoga, I recently bought 2 pair of running pants from a running shop and I love them. No shrinking.

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  14. Dan:

    People get SHORTER as they get OLDER. It's a medical fact. Something to do with the spine compressing.

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  15. So, if there's not enough room for your boobies in the bed, have you found that leads to stretching or any sagging? If so, have you thought of building some sort of support structure for them?

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  16. Terri and I have a huge bed, and on our own are very comfortable.

    But Screechy -our 6 year old- is in that "need to sleep with mom 'n dad" thing. Cripes it's like sleeping with a training ninja; I wake up from punches to the groin, neck, et cetera.

    -You know now that I think about it I'm not 100% he's really sleeping .... :)

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  17. Janie:
    Yeah but I'm so bummed. I think I'm gonna go out and buy more and just let them air dry.

    Chris:
    It is a confusing tale.

    Michelle:
    I know right! And I'm short so I thought these were perfect for every day winter wear.

    Magpie:
    Sorry ;o)

    I only wear socks in below degree temps but I've been known to go comando on my feet if it's above 40 degrees. I hate socks.

    Orion:
    Dude! That's not me! Believe it or not, it's a little boy dressed up as what I think is a pilgrim. SO weird.
    Now cook me some chicken!

    Jorm:
    He'd squish my poor Georgie.

    jean knee:
    That's cuz you a giant. Buzz Light Year wants to see your ass crack.

    Brian:
    Look at you dispensing fashion advice! And I'm glad you cleared up you were talking about the trousers and not ummm yeah...

    Georgie:
    Where were you last Monday! ;o) And yes, the video is hilarious!

    Dan:
    Maybe I did. Hadn't thought about that.

    RG:
    The boob line was to draw you in. Glad it worked!
    I wasn't going to use them for actual yoga. More like lounging around while I eat ice cream mmmmm ;o)

    Brian:
    !!! OLDER SHORTER trying to tell me somethin'?

    Sornie:
    BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yeah, I'll build a little something like the great wall of China to support them.

    LOBO:
    There is a strict rule in my house. No one other than Andy and I can sleep on our bed. However, sometimes Andy breaks the law and puts our dog Mocha on there while I'm sleeping.
    I get a little angry but then Mocha takes care of the problem by accidentally stepping on his crotch. SCORE!

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  18. I keep my cell on my nightstand too. I use the alarm feature as my alarm clock in the morning....

    sleep w/ a teddy bear?
    I slept with a sock monkey (Cecil) for 25 years. [he was murdered by our dog, Eddie, one day....that's another story....]

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  19. I have a restraining order against me from the Dryer and Bleach.

    Seriously.

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  20. I just don't understand why any man would throw boobies and teddy bears overboard like that! It's just wrong!

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  21. Only a woman would buy shoes that are too big. That's why there should never be a female president. But that's also why God is probably a woman...

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  22. OMg you really posted it. Too funny .... lmao.
    and thank you :)

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  23. Is that all I have to do to get some? I'm doing this all wrong. I thought if I wrote my number on all the men's restroom stalls they would call.

    Also, please tell me they didn't already have that crazy make-up, sparkles and sequins crap. That is wrong I tell ya!

    I gotta go...time for my pole dance...

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  24. Two words Bee:

    California. King.

    It's not that we couldn't survive on a Queen- or King-sized bed, it's just that we wouldn't survive together is all.

    With a CK, he gets to spread all-ass-over but there's a little more bed than usual for me to mimic a Nerf Football in cold water.

    It's hands-down the only furniture that has saved our marriage.

    Well, that and the Chinese swinging basket in our sun room.

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  25. Stopping by from Sunday Suck up times. Love your comics and thanks for the Dani link. So funny. See you over at HBDC...

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  26. Hey Bee? Are those really your legs and feet in the yoga pants picture?
    And do you do yoga or just wear the clothes?

    Thank you for answering all of my questions but see, now I'm left with more questions:
    1. Why can you get up on the bed on your side but are unable to get on the bed on Andy's side?

    Well, I guess I was left with only one question. Well that one and the yoga pants questions.

    Oh and how come the fabulouse five minute mom video is only 3 minutes long?

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  27. I hate it when pants shrink!

    Peter and I have a queen size bed, and there are many days where it is too small. Like the other night he kept me up until 3am, he was so restless!

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  28. There's a lady at the gym who'd love those pants (that's all she ever wears). I'll get you her number if you want.

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Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.