Because you talked me down from my ledge, I am celebrating Innappropriate Card Day with just you! And Um you. Oh yeah and YOU! But first...

My thanks to everybody who made me feel better (except Brian because he again compared me to some weird looking man with white freckles and said my face shatters mirrors so I should stay away from them.. .or something). Even my work ladies told me how cute I looked and that the glasses were very ""becoming"". Awww old speak.

I figured out what was making me so homicidal about my new glasses.
The fucking reflection on them could land a 747 while I’m sitting in an underground bunker hiding from the aliens who are coming to rid the world of the ugly people (not to imply I’m ugly but these glasses are not going to win me any beauty contests so I might as well be safe than, you know, dead.).
Last night, I looked in the mirror and said to the husband, “these fuckers make me look like Dr. Grim’s long lost daughter who had the misfortune of having magnifying glasses for eyeballs.” and Andy responded “What??” and so I didn’t feel like saying that whole sentences all over again I just said “DR.GRIM IS MY FATHER!!!” and then he asked “WHAT???” and since I didn’t feel like yelling the same thing again for fear of being accused of repeating myself I said “CHEESE AND CRACKERS ANDY! I’M GONNA BUY A GDAMN MICROPHONE!” and then he said “I heard you fine the second time buttercup. I was just wondering why you would say Dr. Grim is your father. Is it the hairy chest?” and then Andy left this world in a wisp of black smoke.

Anyway, I always ask for non-reflective lenses. This time I forgot and so now my eyeballs look like some sort of 3D hologram. Don’t get too close, it might be contagious. I will be calling Dr. Grim later in the week, once I know my turrets is under control, and ask him if there is something we can do to maybe sand off the glossy sheen. Other than that, the frames are very nice and they do look good on me… WHEN I HAVE MY EYES CLOSED!

And so say it with me peoples:
F-U-C-K!

This morning I decided to get my pitiful butt out of bed, do a full make-up and hair styling ego boost, pick out a great pair of shoes because this way I can say ‘yeah, my face may look like crap with these glasses but at least my feet look hot!’.

Sigh.

On to Inappropriate Card Day hosted by Diesel from Mattress Police.

As a thank you to all who make my frown turn... lopsided, I decided to just feature everybody that commented and give you all one card to share (except for Brian because we can all agree he’s mean)(P.S. don’t forget to tune in tomorrow, Friday, for his music review).

Without further ado-do:

Georgie, Tracy, UnfinishedRambler, Marvel Goose, Chris, Suzy, Jean Knee, Petra, Lainey-Painey, FADKOG, Mary Moore,Grant Miller Media, Humorsmith, Dan, ReformingGeek, Cameron, Chica, Orion, The Office Scribe, Kit Walker (who is celebrating a birthday today and I would say HAPPY BIRTHDAY but apparently she doesn’t like to be reminded of her exit through the birth canal because GROSS!), Nooter, The Self-Deprechaun, KayFour, Jacki, NCS, David (who doesn’t have a blog so I don’t know if he’s reading this but he supposedly sees things that are not there CHORD ::wink::), Otter Thomas, Jormengrund, Hel, MilesPerHour and, last but not least, John J. Savo.



What kind of card can I give all those people and still make it relevant for everybody?

Well…


Until next year!
Pass the weed.

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