Saturday, October 11, 2008

Update on WrinkleGATE* 2008


(* That *GATE* part was added for John J. Savo The Authoring Auctioneer.)

Okay, so the general consensus is that it's actually a happy smile line.
Here are some people I uh,
consenced.

Milton:

Where? I don't see it!


Me:

Right here [pointing, contorting face]

Milton:

Still can't see it.

Me:

[fake smiling] RIGHT HERE!

Milton:

Oh that baby thing? That's a cute little smile line. Goes well with your dimples.

Me:

Uh. Okay?

I have to worry about dimple wrinkles now??

-----------------------------

PD:

Where? I don't see it! [then, after me making Jack Nicholson Joker scary faces] Please! You can't even call that a wrinkle! THIS IS A WRINKLE!

[She smiled and disappeared! Sitting before me was a prune. Just kidding. It was PD. I should stop making fun of her since she was being nice.]

The same thing happened another 3 times or so (a perk for working with people 30 years older than me) until I went home to my 32 year old husband.

We shall call him Mr. Insensitivo.


Me:

The ladies said I was overreacting on the whole WrinkleGATE. Do you see it?

Mr Insensitivo:

Uh... Oh! I've seen it before! It only shows up when you sneer and/or smirk. I'd say it's your punishment for always being snarky. There I said it.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

In other non life threatening news, on Monday day of the lord uh three-eth ten (13) of October. I will post a "day in the life of Bee".
Mrs. G. from Derfwad Manor is posting a play by play with photos of her typical day and asked if anybody wanted to play along. I though it'd be fun so I decided to join in.

On Saturday morning, I will wake up and catalog every hour of the day (I HEARD THOSE GROANS!) sometimes with pictures and post it on Monday. If anybody wants to partake in the fun-ness leave your linkers and I'll hook them up here too.

To recap, no matter how boring Saturday turns out to be, I will pat it on the ass and send it forth onto the interworldwidewebisphere on 10/13/08.

I think it would be fun if you join in, especially YOU! Must be posted on Monday the 13th. Hopefuly early and not at like 10:30pm.
.
I think that's all I got. I lost my stupid sheet of paper where I had written my post at work so I might have forgotten something. It was probably really funny too!
.
P.S.
I know I'm technically posting this on Saturday and I should TECHNICALLY ALLEGEDLY start already but you know me and rules.
.
P.P.S
I have an NC-17 rating on my blog, nothing new, we've discussed it before. Remember my cuss-o-meter was at 97%??? Ahhh good times! Anyway, I want it to go up to X rated or whatever so I will be hiding swears throughout my posts so I get bumped up to the next level.
I apologize in advance but there's nothing I can do.

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

Humor-Blogs

16 comments:

  1. Thank you for the mention and the unnecessary use of GATE.

    And don't feel bad... I'm going gray at 30...

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  2. I have the solution to wrinkles-I dont look in the mirror ;-)

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  3. I blame my ex for the frown wrinkles I have.... and the grey hairs.

    Of course I'm pleased that for every grey hair I have, he's lost about 20... and his aren't growing back :)

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  4. Do not hide the swears! I want to hear every gnarly piece of cursing and exacting piece of well aimed profanity.

    Only fair.

    As to the "wrinkle," what, that?

    Nah. That's what's called a "brilliance line." Obvious, really.

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  5. ugh. men cannot be trusted with serious matters such as WRINKLES. Remember, these are the same beings that fail to see the value in pedicures. need I say more? ;)

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  6. what if you have to take a crap, will you write about that too?

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  7. First of all, wrinkles are like kisses from God telling you "hey, it could be worse, you could have a plastic face and look like Joan Rivers"

    And where is it? Oh, that little thing, I think thats light playing tricks on you bee. I dont see any wrinkles.

    buzz buzz

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  8. but did you try the iron yet? ...and there are only rewards for being snarky.

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  9. Honey, I am wrinkley, jiggly and gray. I'm every man's fantasy. I'm doing botox next year. That's right. I can't wait to look permanently stunned and not able to raise my eyebrows. At least my kids won't know when I'm upset with them.

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  10. I'm, to date, wrinkle free. I'm not sure, but the lack of wrinkles could be due in part to the fact that I don't, apparently, get out much. In fact, if I were to chronicle Saturday, it would involve one single entry that reads as follows:

    9 a.m. - present: Sat on couch all day. Considered going to grocery store at 8:25 p.m., for milk, but thought 'Eh, why bother?' Continued with Operation Ass On Couch.

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  11. NC-17 ? What is worse that that?
    NC-18? how high do the NC's go?

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  12. Andy's comment sounds exactly like what my hubs would have said. Of course, the hubs doesn't know how to give a compliment. I've lost a lot of weight recently, you know due to my new illess diet plan, and he says to me the other day "Hey, you know, I just noticed something. Your ass isn't as bulbous as it used to be!"
    Gee thanks honey. Now I have to live with two things:
    1. My ass is evidentally still bulbous, just less so.
    2. My ass was once ginormous and nobody bothered to tell me.

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  13. Are you aware that the news you are watching is interlaced with Communist China's propaganda,as
    Communist China maps a realm of news with innocent lives?
    Communist China is scheming a millennial terrorist activity by manipulating people's behaviors
    through electromagnetic waves to contain criticism and harm innocent human lives.

    1. The anomaly in community traffic of cars and motorcycles and drag racing,and reckless honking by
    cars and motorcycles is exceeding an unprecedented level.
    2. Communist China has the technology to scan the human brain waves through military satellite and
    to discern and decipher their thoughts,scheming to instill individual interference focusing on
    each individual in need using the satellite electromagnetic waves.
    3. Deploying electromagnetic waves is poised to project onto the human brain with certain
    sounds for the perception of grossly traumatizing or startling pain,or deploying the broadcast
    of noise via electromagnetic waves in sleeping humans with edited clips of films or through
    voice or image signals onto our brains or besiege our sensory functions with fabricated
    audible and sensory illusions.
    4. It manipulates one's moods,such as smiling,nervousness,disgust,panic,anger,sorrow,
    desires,appetite,and so forth.
    5. It interferes the human brain's thinking capability,memory or linguistic capability,to name a
    few,causing spasms of muscles and fingers in the left and right hands,stinging aches
    throughout the body,coughing,yawning,trembling,involuntary blinking of the eye,runny
    nose and so forth.
    6. Electromagnetic waves are deployed to hinder the motoring functions of the body and neck,
    disrupt the heartbeat or respiration,manipulate dizziness,deprive one's sleep,spasm,saliva
    gland,dental neural pain,etc.
    7. Watch out that Communist China is infiltrating the news media by deploying electromagnetic
    waves to besiege the broadcast media,map out viral disillusion or erroneous perception,and
    investigate threats of brainwashing in viral spreading.
    8. It further moved to deploy various symptoms in what one sees of media icons,gesture terms,
    adding a skewed interpretation to one's cognitive awareness,misleading an individual to
    hallucinate or suffer,such as the North Korean's rigid smile,which is a tactic Communist
    China often deploys to counter the people.
    9. By observing the resolution accuracy of Communist China's sound and image (scenario)
    interference projected onto the human's brain,this can only be achieved with a certain level
    of frequencies at the source of interference,hence there is no doubt that it has to be the
    electromagnetic wave. Yet questions remain as to what range of frequencies the source of
    interference deploys,or what kind of electromagnetic waves insulation chamber would suffice
    to provide an insulation yield? Communist China might deploy specific metal alloys as small scale
    molecular antennas, which are attached to the human brain in large number,creating
    electromagnetic waves when the human brain is in function,where the current created by
    Communist China's electromagnetic interference would poise to amplify in a staggering
    number of multiplication,which Communist China can detect at all times to discern and
    muscles would excel the generation of electrode,which in turn create a corresponding
    electromagnetic wave within.
    10. Some of Communist China's intimidation experiences in 2002:6.9 "Hey,are you tired of living?"
    6.14 "We had concocted the bombing incident at the U.S. embassy in Pakistan"
    "Jiang Zhemin ordered us to kill you,but without creating scenes"6.16 "The Pakistani
    civilian troops confessed that they had schemed the bombing of the U.S. embassy in
    Pakistan,which we had manipulated them to confess,so what are you going to do about it?"
    6.19 "Hey,why don't you just go ahead and commit suicide""We are going to scheme
    murder using the public bus"6.20 "Commit suicide by burning charcoal,get it?"6.25 "Jiang
    Zhemin just does not like you,go hit your head against the wall".
    11. I reckon that there are victims abound out in the street,no less alarming than wars,and those
    not in the know or did not understand that Communist China's simple electromagnetic design
    could easily turn people against each other,create moving incidents,little lese to say mislead
    the youth to broach down the wrong path,suicidal prompting,design and fabrication of a host
    of society news (which Communication China refers to as movie making),as Communist China has had a
    decade long of the technology,and has long abused its technological advantages to scheme up design
    of abusing human lives by arranging fabricated news to poison and infiltrate the free
    world,manipulate and misguide the contents of the media,and deploy brainwashing and malicious
    spread of viruses,done with insinuation and riddles.The fact that Communist China's slaughtering
    the innocent had been the result of a high level of calculation,and a high level of rationalization,
    where the threats are in existence,and cannot be ignored of their detrimental severity.
    12. Communist China often coerce people to watch news compiled by the reporter Lu Yuling of the cable
    news in order for them to be saved,but few are aware that Communist China had merely deploy the
    reporter to entrap many people. I do envision that those that turn to committing crime as framed
    by Communist China,the extra sufferings by the ordinary people,and the deaths of many innocent
    lives will not go unnoticed as hindered by a condoning attitude.
    13. Nazi Hu Jintao, Jiang Zemin, Chinese Liberation Army, security police and armed police have committed suppression and massacre on their own civilians. Hu, Jiang and the other atrocious butchers owe these innocent civilians! More horrible and serious is that they are using mysterious killing technologies to cause harms to human brains around the world, making advantage of numerous international politicians and journalists to help them commit atrocities and beautify their actions, aiming to overturn and suppress those innocent people and cover up their terrorist acts and win fame by cheating the world. Securing in the knowledge that they have strong backing, these arrogant and shameless butchers have committed tortures and mass killing cruelly to those innocent ones around the world. Unfortunately, neither these politicians and nor journalists knowing what is what would dare to express their conscience.
    14. The inhumane acts and atrocities committed by Nazi China are far more vicious than that of Nanjing massacre in China during WWII committed by Japanese army, as Chinese government is using mysterious technologies to commit massacres to masses of bare-handed civilians around the world as well as launch violence and terrorist activities to suppress these completely unarmed people’s freedom of speech. These demons, like Hu, Jinag and Chinese Liberation Army, despise the chastity, dignity and precious life of those innocent ones and suppress the emotions of their beloved. Meanwhile, relying on the condition that most of people in the world will not be able to witness their vicious acts of violence and behaviors they have committed unscrupulously and shamelessly, these Chinese Liberation Army enjoys using cruel ways to torture, massacre and trample on these innocent people, physically and mentally, in one free world. The arrogant Hu, Jiang and those jackals nurtured under such ferocious power treat themselves as the symbol of benevolence and hero, as they fail to learn their gutless and vicious acts to trample on those innocent people. If these demons, butchers and dregs of human, such as Hu, Jiang and Chinese Liberation Army who have become frenzied and conscienceless appeared in the site of Nanjing massacre in WWII, they definitely would be the leading roles to act atrocities!
    15. We don’t want to see masses of innocent people to fall victim to the hell on earth built by red China where they will be susceptible to tortures and massacres for thousands of years.
    16. Despite being even unable to fend for themselves in face of the high-tech detriments and attacks from China, we can not tolerate the fact that these politicians and journalists will become the accomplices to help China commit its terrorist acts and suppression on these innocent people in the current era or an unknown future.
    17. In view of the notorious, vicious and sinister Hu, Jiang, Chinese Liberation Army with blood-stained hands, we just cast doubt over whether these greats of knowing what is what who have negotiated with these demons will show their conscience to save these innocent civilians or will act just for the sake of their profits, or are under the control of China. In this current drowned world, how will these innocent lives be treated in face of the atrocious acts committed by these diabolical figures, or when these innocent people will witness the practice of democracy in China? Will these phenomena turn out to be the joint efforts and endeavors achieved by China and those powerful figures in the world? Are we really dedicated to overturning such adversity? Our goal is to eliminate the vicious power one day with our strenuous efforts, and we absolutely will achieve it!


    Chen,Shun-Chuan 2002.10.13* Republic of China (Taiwan)

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  14. Well, jokes on the propaganda-ers because I don't watch the news.

    Maybe they can come and leave messages on my blog instead?

    Oh wait...

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Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.