On Saturday I saw a commercial for a new HBO series called "John Adams" (about a president or something) starring Paul Giamatti. Am I the only person on this Earth who sees his face and wants to replace her eyeballs with Peanut M&Ms?
I counted the movies I've seen that have tortured my eyesight by showing me his ugly mug and I came up with 13.
Two were shockers, My Best Friend's Wedding, he was a bellhop (I think that's what you call those guys with the funny hats) and only came out in one scene but when I saw his chinless-face I yelled out (to Andy)(because he was in his dungeon) "Oh WTF! The Giamatti dude is ruining my movie!".
Tonight, when Andy was watching Saving Private Ryan, there he was. His weaselly voice scrapping my eardrums with rusty hangers.
Do you remember how everybody was talking about how great Sideways was? do you want to know What Andy and I did? I'm telling you anyway.
We went to Best Buy, putzed around, looked to see what movies we could add to our collection, it was Andy's turn to choose:
I heard Sideways was pretty good.
Meh. One of the stars is that hobbit dude.
I think it won something at the Oscars, best picture or actor or something.
Listen, I'd rather buy 3 copies of A Clockwork Orange and play them on my teeth while juggling samurai swords with my toes.
As much as I would like to see the toe juggling, I think we should get Sideways anyway. We might learn something about wine.
I already know everything I need to know about wine. Grab glass, drink, say 'yuck', order a beer/piña colada/blood. But! Whatever makes you happy babe. You know I'm put on this Earth to please you. (not exact words but I'm sure it's close enough)
On one cold Sunday morning, we popped it into the DVD player and then wasted ninety minutes of our lives on a whiny dingus and his horny friend.
I couldn't wait to get that crappy movie outta my house so when Crazy Ez (sister in law) came over and said "Ooh! I heard this was a great mov--" I interrupted her and told her to take it and godspeed.
What the hell was I talking about? Oh yeah. I dislike Paul Giamatti with an intensity I only reserve for tiny red ants that bite my ankles and cause me pain!*
On a sad note.
I was visiting some blogs tonight and noticed they have tons of awards. How many do I have?
5 and one I made myself to give to myself! Some call that pathetic I call it, uh.. ANTI-pathetic.
Do I have a "World's Greatest Daddy Blogger" award?? No.
How about a "Fastest Typer in the Northwest" award?? No.
A "Your skin smells like lavender" award? No! I really want that one!
What am I doing wrong? I shower everyday. I pay my taxes. I'm nice to ugly people (except Paul Giamatti but he's a millionaire so I'm sure he doesn't give a shit).
Oh well, something else that will keep me up at night!
On a Lastly note.
Chelle B and I tag teamed another blogger over at Humor Bloggers. The subject matter is not for the faint of heart, people with asthma or my family members. Especially family members. ***Please do not go over there if you are in any way shape or form a part of Mi Familia. No. Don't!***
*I realize that it's ironic I did a whole post on a person I think looks like the wrong side of a jock strap but I needed to get it out of my system.
Humor Bloggers dot com
I used my spell check so any misspelled words are Godzilla's fault.