The exhaler stood a whole foot taller than me. I was at a complete disadvantage.

So the exhaler of the offensive snot was…….. drum roll please……

The semi retired doctor Mr. Rogers! ::shiver::

He is in his 70s and one of the nicest people I have ever met. He was kindly inquiring about the condition of my house. I was standing there (right there) going on and on and must of said something that made him laugh because he kind of snorted and BOOM! or SPLAT it landed on my black sweater.

Do not read on if you’re eating, have asthma or have mushrooms in your fridge.

I stopped talking and asked him politely if he could remove the dry mucus off my sweater so that I may go dunk myself in a gigantic tub of bleach –CLOTHES AND ALL—!

He was very embarrassed but then he did something even grosser, he took out his hankie, looked for a “clean” spot and then picked it off with enough force to make it crumble, and little bits became embedded in the fabric of my former sweater.

Above my left boob.

I didn’t think twice about him feeling me up since I was more preoccupied with getting to the bathroom and taking off what was now a contaminated-never-to-wear-again sweater.

Now, I have been in the exam rooms (for translating purposes) where OZ is suturing open wounds, I've been there when he's inspecting recent amputations, I've been in the hospital where he's told people they will be losing a foot/finger/hand, ME, a person who can't stand the sight of anybody else's blood (weirdly, mine doesn't bother me) and yet this is what made me want to guacjarackagag!

I almost projectile vomited 35 years of stored up bile (I know I'll need it one day)(kinda like those weird fish that spit out poison) right at Mr. Rogers which would have made us even in my opinion.

Gross.

I feel better now that I've shared my gruesome experience.

And yes, I went to the bathroom, removed my sweater and walked around in my hoodie.

In other news, I had to erase all my recorded "So You Think You can Dance" episodes because they were taking up 80% of my memory (on the recorder Brian, not my head) so now I don't know where I'm going to get my pretend exercise. I used to do a little upper body jam while my legs flailed around but now I got nuthin'! Just another thing to be pissed about I guess.

Humor-Blogs

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Tomorrow, I will put up a very important text box on top of the posts.
It's not about me and it will be serious. I ask that those of you living in the states, please read it and take action. I was going to do it today but it deserves more attention and respect than my usual nonsense. Please do not leave a comment regarding the subject because I have some emotional issues about it that I prefer the door remain closed. It will mean a lot to me if you come back to read it tomorrow. I'll put it up at 2:00 pm CST.