Picture the scene.
Me sitting at my desk with my brand new hand brace thing which makes me look like a cool Michael Jackson (don't dispute my claim that I'm cooler than MJ please because I'm not going to let you), typing away, getting ready for my weekly meeting with OZ, whistling show tunes.
Having prepared myself with my coffee IV, my newly sharpened pencil (for jabbing at my non IV arm) and my yellow legal pad for doodling little pictures of people before a firing squad.
Yeah, it seems like heaven on Earth, right? Don't be fooled though because the great mood is deceptive!
So there I am. Usual Friday self in nice clothes, face paint, hair all la-dee-da when Glynda walks in.
OZ wants you to go to Subway and gets his sandwich. [walks halfway out of the office]
Glynda: [comes back and puts her hands on her hips]
WHAT? DID YOU SAY 'NO'?
Bee: [lower lip jutted out like the naughty child I am]
I said 'no'.
But he wants a sandwich!
Ask somebody else. I'm busy.
BUT HE WANTS HIS SANDWICH FROM SUBWAY!
I understood the first time but I'm not going to get his sandwich anymore. Ask somebody else.
Glynda walks out. Comes back in. Turns around (dosey does) goes back out. Stalks back in.
I don't know what you're trying to pull but YOU need to go get his sandwich.
No. I. Don't. If you'd like, I'll go tell him myself.
[stands there for a minute shocked, my phone rings, I pick it up and continue working so she leaves]
Comes back a few minutes later with a long list of accounts she wants me to bring in to meeting. Now, if you are not familiar with the way my meetings go I can understand you thinking it's no big deal.
The fact is, by Thursday, I have my list of suspects and am just tweaking last minute things on Friday. For her to come over and give me a list of an additional 20 people at 12:30 on a Friday? Well, let's just say that a lesser woman would have pooped her pants and the pants of her neighbors. And maybe Indiana's pants.
Not this chick. This chick has looked the devil in the face (not for reals) (and Devil? I'm just kidding so don't make any special trips okay?) and laughed her ass off while trying on new shoes.
I hustled my ass and got all of those accounts ready just in time! Ha! You see, what they don't know is that I'm at my best under pressure. I shine, I sparkle, I
So Glynda, welcome to Fuck Off Friday on a Saturday!
I can't wait for the day I walk over to her and give her my, handwritten in blood (not my blood), 2 weeks notice.
When that day comes, I'm inviting all of y'alls to my house for a party! Okay, maybe not so much inviting you guys but asking you guys to send me flowers or chocolate.
Hey! Guess what we get to do today! If you guessed 'finish removing drywall, nails, glue and staples from my mom's walls then disinfect the bare walls and scrub them with chemicals' you hit the nail on the head! Yay us! How's that for a fun filled weekend??
Hope yours is better! :o)P.S.
You guys are sick! That was just a tomato!