Sunday, June 28, 2009

I am going to surgically attach my cell to my wrist because that way I will never ever miss important photo opportunities like big yellow-red rats mocking PETA.

Have I ever told you guys how defenseless I feel when I forget my cellphone? I constantly find myself reaching for the spot where it usually rests on my desk. I would have taken a picture of the spot but I forgot my cellphone.

You see, my cell is no longer something I just make phone calls with. Since I no longer have access to the internet at work (which sucks because I can no longer harass Brian and jean knee while I’m at work so now they go on about their lives in peace and who wants that???), I check my email on it, read my favorite blogs, AND take pictures of interesting things.

On Friday, I forgot it at home. And what happens??? Across the street from my office some dudes inflated a giant rat! A giant scary rat with fangs and claws ready to eat you up! This thing was huge and not really lifelike because it was yellow and red but it still had a menacing look to him.

We stood in front of the window wondering what they were advertising using a rat. They had inflated it near some apartment building so one of the bats said, “maybe they’re trying to advertise vacant apartments” and I was like “with a rat?? ‘Hi! Come live here, we have rats!’ No, I doubt it.”

Then, when the coffee made me smurt, I figured out they weren't advertising, they were protesting something. Unfortunately, we couldn’t make out what the signs said and I was too lazy to walk over, the street is one of the busiest in the area, so I just came up with different scenarios in my head.

-They were protesting Scarecrow's very short shorts because hello? It’s Casual Friday not Hoochie Dress Up Day. I know some older women can pull it off but picture the old tanned lady from Something about Mary. Only more wrinkly.

somethingaboutmary

- They were protesting PETA's obsession with eating rocky mountain oyster. Seriously, PETA! You guys are sick!

- They were protesting because I haven't gotten a raise in my allowance in 3 years. We need to know why! I've done all most of my chores!

- They were protesting Milton's constant criticizing on their disorganized protest. "They should hold the signs up higher! They should have printed bigger signs! I can't read what they say! Why is that man on his cellphone?? He doesn't seem too interested in his protest!" and so on.

I was upset with myself for not having my phone so I may photo document this exciting event but I think I came up with a solution so that you may experience what I was seeing semi-first hand.

I was originally going to draw it for you but my drawing looked like cavemen chasing a chia pet so I recreated it with things around my house.

Okay, here we have that big dragon thing representing the rat, a couple of Bonsai trees representing the trees, flowers representing flowers, Betty Boop in her smoking convertible representing cars driving by and honking their support, the 2 Mexican ladies, Han Solo and Pinocchio representing the protestors.

protest

Here is a close up.

protest closeup

Here is an aerial view taken from the Bee chopper in the sky. I don't know what that mini bottle of Tabasco sauce is doing there. Maybe it was left there after their lunch?

protest arial

We never did find out what they were protesting and they left before I got out of work but I saw Norm talking to them and I'm sure he'll give me the full scoop on Monday.

P.S.

The Sunday Comic should be back next Sunday. We have been a tad busy but I'm planning on making Andy drink nothing but Red Bull this week so his slacking days are over!

13 comments:

  1. I'm first woo hoo!!! I LOVE your reenactment!!! Han Solo...was a nice touch....made me wonder if any of them had guns?..LOL... So funny...please give us the scoop on what they were protesting! Take Care:)

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  2. It's true! I forgot my mobile at work once, and the entire royal family sprinted past naked with "We hate peasants" scrawled on their buttocks with yellow paint.

    True story.

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  3. That reconstruction is great - I think those crime programmes on TV could do with your expertise.

    You need to get internet access back. Not only can you not harass us, but we can't harass you. And that's not on. Also, your firsting record has declined shockingly.

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  4. i think youre too addicted to your phone it does you good to be away from it every once in a while. got your iphone yet?

    the dudes were probably protesting the cubs season.

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  5. That was great, Bee! I love the re-enactment.

    I hope you can get the scoop.

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  6. Ahahahahahaaa!! I can picture you arranging the line up and getting it just so! What did Andy say when he saw your diorama? I would love to be a fly on the wall or maybe moth?

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  7. Courtney:
    I haven’t seen Norm at all today. He’s probably hiding from me!

    Chris:
    And you weren’t blinded by all those pasty white bums? ;o)

    jean knee:
    He always is.

    Brian:
    I’d love being in a crime show thing but I hate fake blood. Not so fond of real one either.

    I haven’t been first in months. :o(

    BD:
    No iPhone. I decided to redo my hair in streaks instead. All sports suck.

    RG:
    Thanks! I hope so too.

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  8. Shirley:
    Andy shmandy! He laughed at me! I also wanted to use one of his Warcraft dolls or his Spawn “ action figures “ but he said they were in mint condition and not out of the box blah blah blah selfish!

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  9. I just heard that Anna Nicole Smith died.

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  10. Last week I thought I lost my cell phone and I had a freak out in the parking lot of Target. I had driven there on barely a vapor of gasoline, and by the time I arrived, my minivan was screaming that I would never make it home on less than a quarter tank. So I wanted to call Tool Man (who was out of state and therefore incapable of saving me, mind you) to find out if he thought I could make it 10 to 12 miles if the 'Get Gas NOW!' light had just lit up. You see, I figured determining that would involve math and I'm clearly not good at that. Anyway, couldn't find my phone in the usual spot in my purse, or the other usual spots, and, to make matters worse, I knew I couldn't call Tool Man on a regular phone because I don't have his phone number memorized. It's long distance, and programmed into my cell phone. Nice.

    In case you are worried that I'm writing this from Target, rest assured that I found my phone. I had tossed it in a side pocket and, well, forgotten I'd done so. I also made it home on vapors.

    Technology is a blessing AND a curse!

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  11. That's one scary rat. I don't know if he's giving a genuine growl or if his jaw dropped open when he saw Betty Boop in her pink Caddy. Anyway, clever alternative.

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  12. OMG. I hate when stuff happens and I and I am with out my camera!

    And, I think those PETA people are totally out of their minds! At least the ones that get all extremist!

    But, even without your camera, AWESOME blog post, very well reconstructed.

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