So today Andy noticed that our home has been getting messier and sloppier and smellier and uh well, it was bad, Jerry!
He didn't say "CLEAN THE HOUSE SERVANTWOMAN!!" or anything deathwish like that. No. It was more like "hmmmm the house seems to have taken a turn for the worse since your mom moved downstairs." This made me jump outta my chair and start going through stacks of DUSTY newspapers, junk mail, magazines EMPTY YOGURT CONTAINERS-- what? and do the dishes because I do not want him to find out that the Susie homemaker houswife who had our house spotless was... my mommy.
Right now I'm supposedly ""cleaning"" the bathroom but as you can see, I am doing a post via Scarlett's email capabilities. Andy is clueless though. Although, he might question the fact that I brought a beer into the bathroom... IT'S NOT GROSS! Everyone knows alcohol kills all germs! Besides, I can't eat pretzels without drinking beer. Now you're judging me again!
Oh oh! Tazz just opened the door! He's probably looking to huff some cleaning products. Damn junkie!
Laters gators.
I do some of my best work in the crapper.
ReplyDeleteWait, are you talking about blogging?
You're lucky you got away with it as long as you have. Pretty smart.
ReplyDeleteAll too funny. My MIL is usually the one to point out that things aren't clean enough. My husband is worse than the kids when it comes to making the messes. LOL.
ReplyDeleteHey, my name isn't Jerry. ;)
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, your secret's safe with us - as long as you keep up the blackmail payments...
ReplyDeleteIt's nonsense. your gardens can't be that pristine and beautiful and the inside of the house a wreck. It's a figment of Andy's imagination, convince him of that, and your golden! ;)
ReplyDeleteThere is a way of tidying up through alcohol ... you just drink enough to think everything looks right ... and hey presto!
ReplyDeleteSince Peter's domestic skills are pretty much not there, he never complains if the house gets messy. However, I do have him trained well enough to help out with the housework, because he knows how grumpy I get if it is messy. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I know where the mop is at this point. ;-) Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteDid you know that when you're intoxicated if you wear a terrycloth robe and drag yourself through the house on your belly, it will look at though you've swept.
ReplyDeleteNot that I've know or anything...
I'm so very very sorry
ReplyDeleteSometimes it takes more of an effort to LOOK busy then to actually be busy...just thought I would point that out. Im helpful like that.
ReplyDelete