Monday, June 15, 2009

Mondays and I are like 2 pigeons having a pissing contest.

You know how I'm always saying that Mondays suck donkey balls?

Well they do.

I called in sick last Friday because I was sick of going to work but trying to "stick it to 'em" always back fires. I had 3 people complain about the same situation and all 3 stories were different! The kicker was that they were ALL WRONG! It took me 2 minutes to solve a problem they spent all of Friday working on.


When I finally left the work Monday from hell, I was greeted by this awesome splatter of bird shit on the windshield. It was perfectly centered, a work of art really, so I give the bird major kudos. Since we had a warm sunny day, the bird shit was nicely baked onto the glass and nearly impossible to remove. Awesome!

cell 6.15.09 004

Then I sat in 20 minutes of construction traffic just to go 3 blocks.

cell 6.15.09 005

My normal 5 minute commute took almost half an hour. I know you're probably crying for me right now.

Just when I thought my Monday couldn't get worse, I received an email from a person who had sent me 3 previous ones. This person wants me to submit my blog to a certain directory. I'm not really submitting my blog anywhere else at the moment since I'm doing pretty well with the ones I'm in now. However, I still think I may have thought about it had the person sending me the email gotten my name right.

"Hello Bette,
About a month ago I sent you an email inviting you to add your blog to - the first blog directory that categorizes using geography, not categories - and I thought I would give you one last gentle nudge!"

I will let Bette know this is her last gentle nudge but I can't guarantee she'll give a flying rat turd.

Oh well tomorrow is Tuesday and OZ starts his vacation so I'm sure it'll be better.

In other, evil news...

The other day, my brother Rick, who is living in the upstairs floor of my house, hid behind my mom’s kitchen door so that he may pop out and yell BOO! just as I entered the kitchen.

I hate it when people do that and everybody knows it but it makes them laugh to hear me shriek like a school girl because it is so ANTI my tough chick persona.

Rick was laughing so hard, I thought he was going to drop his left testicle. Jerk!

So, in the time honored tradition of siblings getting back at one another…

My mom was in her bedroom changing Rick’s baby’s diaper. I went into mom’s bedroom, said ‘hi’ then came barreling back out and exclaimed “the baby fell off the bed!” to which Rick’s heart dropped and he said “WHAT??” and was heading over there when I yelled “scared ya’!”

For some reason he didn’t think that was funny. On the other hand, I think I’ve cured him of his ‘scare Bee’ habit. I do what I can for humanity.


  1. First off, kudos for taking what I like to refer to as a "mental health day". I am a fan of these and they usually occur on Wednesdays for me.

    Secondly, I also am not a fan of Mondays. I am tired of people telling me how tired I look. Guess what people? I am busy on the weekends. And yes, sometimes I drink. And why is my voice wonky? Because I was smoking. So there.

    And third, I feel your pain when your short commute stretches out into infinity.

  2. Mondays, Tuesdays ... all weekdays suck. Apart from Friday. The latter half of it.

  3. God I wish you lived in L.A. We would kick ass and laugh all day. I LOVE YOU AND I'M NOT GAY. Yet.

  4. Are you sure you don't work with my sister? Every time she has to take time off work for something....usually DR. appointments for my nephew....they are always complaining and saying she is using her son as an excuse to take time of work.

  5. Why is it that everyone we work with is so incompetent but us? ;-)

    5-minute commute? No. No sympathy here.

    As for getting back at your brother, GOOD ONE, Bee!

  6. I totally feel ya' on the bird poop, nasty critters!

    I've been working Saturdays also for the past two months, so every day of the week has been tough for me lately!

  7. the only thing birds are good for is makin sandwiches out of em'!

  8. Who starts a vacation on a Tuesday?! Vacations from work start on Fridays when you're all, "See ya later, suckas!" as you laugh maniacally out the door.

  9. I was tempted to gloat - well, not actually gloat, since I wouldn't do that - to point out that I walk to work, so don't have to worry about traffic jams. However getting dive-bombed by pigeons would be considerably worse for me...

    It's good to see that your blog is in demand. If you ever need an endorsement, then as a long-time reader of Bette's Mustangs, I'd be happy to contribute. For a modest percentage.

  10. The last time I took a mental health day, my boss called screaming for me to get my ass into work. So I did, and quit. The funny thing is, I'd just been sitting there convincing myself my job wasn't so bad when the prick called.

    In terms of your payback, I thought you were going to say you rubbed his face with the dirty diaper, so as far as I'm concerned, he got off easy.

    But remember, you two: it's always funny until someone loses an eye.

  11. oh my gawwddd!!!

    you cold hearted bitch.

    wish you were here to take care of my sisters.

  12. thank you, bette! i trained those birds myself!

  13. That ought to teach him don't mess with Bette. That would make a good T-shirt.

  14. Hmm. What caught my attention was your reference to a blog directory that "categorizes without using categories." Now, how exactly would that be possible? Even if it just throws all the blogs together in a pile, wouldn't they at the very least be "categorized" as "blogs"?

    Probably better that they DON'T know your name.

  15. Hmmm....Im not much of the artsy type, but I guess im the only one that saw the bird poo resemble a flowing ballerina with tutu and all? Hmmm....


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.