Thursday, January 1, 2009

If 2008 was the year of the Rat, 2009 will be the year of the Hot Dog.

navypierdog

So… around this time last year, I predicted good things for me since 2008 was the year of the rat. Supposedly this would be my year. I'd rock the shingles out of it and be too tired for 2009.

Things didn't go as planned. We had a few obstacles along our road to peace, love and cheese.

I blame myself.

You see, I am not the optimistic person I pretended to be on that post last year. I am the type of person that hopes for the best but plans for the worst. I don't consider myself a pessimist though because I don't go around saying things like "OMG! I just know the river is going to enter our home, eat all our popcorn and then have explosive diarrhea in our bathroom!" it's more like "Well, I hope the river doesn't come into the house but if it does, offer the bastard a piece of cheesecake as we're kicking its ass out the door."

See?

There is a difference.

This is just an example of how my year has been. We were driving to my in-laws on Christmas day and I noticed a gorgeous deer so I took a picture of it. This is what I got.


It seems my camera was too slow and the deer decided to show me its ass instead. Screw you, deer. SCREW YOU.

So this time, my predictions for next year are as follows:

1- Andy and I will struggle with money but we will always have enough for a hot dog.

B- The old ladies at work will bug the shit out of me every day but at least I'll have a job to pay for hot dogs.

2- Andy and I will get into our usual daily weekly fights but we'll make up over hot dogs.

3- The squirrels will dig up my flowers but I'll poison them and watch them die while I'm eating a hot dog.

Z- I will have family/friends who will offer me hot dogs if we happen to run out.

I'm ready to start a new year. It might be worse but you know what? I don't expect much from it this time around.

2008 did bring us some joy. Like the birth of my niece. That was pretty cool.

Although, she did vomit on me when I was carrying her and since the universe likes to stick its screws in me in the most unusual of ways, the vomit went right down my blouse. My low cut-blouse. Yuck!

But! She's a cute kid and I think we'll keep her.

gorgeouslittlenieces

My goals or "resolutions" for this year are simple.

1- Don't lose my socks like I do ever year.

2- L o s e my patience at all appropriate times.

3- I will throw a huge tantrum every time I get booed off the stage when playing Guitar Hero or Rock Band.

The end.

Here's to a year full of family, friends (online and real life) laughter and happiness.

Happy New Year

*hot dog stands for hot dog and nothing else. It does not stand for anything sexual. Let's try to get our minds out of the gutter in the New Year, m'mkay? Maybe that's why 2008 was so crappy? You know, because we were all sinners?

hotddoingdance

P.S.

I will be re-organizing my blog over the weekend. This means I'm moving stuff from my sidebar to the navigation bar up top so I can showcase my cool new look that AngieSS was awesome enough to give me. If you have me on your blogroll but don't see yourself on mine, let me know so I may link you.

39 comments:

  1. May you (and your husband's) days in 2009, starting with today, be merry and bright--and filled with hot dogs (maybe not every single day, maybe a hamburger once in a while, but still enough to satisfy you :).

    Also that photo of the deer: that looks like something that would happen to me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't mean to be a hot dog here, but I feel I must be frank. I believe that 2009 is going to be so cold that you will need to have some pigs in a blanket with you under that 12 footlong bedspread. Not to worry, though, by summer it will be red-hot.


    ... man that was lame. I better go to bed and try again in the morning after some franken-furter cereal for breakfast.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's too bad that "hot dogs" literally mean hot dogs, because hot dogs are disgusting.

    If you want to eat cheap, throw some Ramen Noodles in there to mix it up.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy New Year, Bee!

    Funnily enough, I realised last night that I'd run out of hot dogs, but I usually have spare, so if you ever need a tin, let me know.

    ReplyDelete
  5. 2008 was CRAP!!

    Nothing really good came out of it other than the baby :)

    I pray that 2009 is much, much better!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You have 2009 made. As a "not a pessimist" myself, I am hoping to have at least one condiment for my hot dogs in 2009.

    ReplyDelete
  7. oh yeah baby! the year of the hot dog, thats me! im gonna be hot, yeah!

    (prancing back & forth)

    im hot! yeah! wooo!

    ReplyDelete
  8. So are these hot dogs made of Ox meat, since it's the Year of the Ox now?
    Regardless of your hot dogs meat of origin, Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Happy New Year of the Hotdog Bee!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. um...so as long as we've all got hot dogs, I'm sure we'll be fine.

    Happy New Year, Bee.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Eleventh!

    The Year of the rat doesn't end until the Chinese New Year...

    ReplyDelete
  12. The weird mix of hot dogs, deer arse, and rockband rage is very familiar to me and brings me a strange pace and joy. I too face the same problems when my niece spews into my low cut blouse and all over my chesticles. Happy New Year Bee!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Happy 2009 Bee, heres hoping the new year brings you plenty of hot dogs or could it be hawt dogs

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hot dogs are SO good for you. That why we love them so.

    Between your stumbling and linking, a hundred folks who probably wouldn't have otherwise dropped by visited yesterday, so thanks!

    Hope y'all enjoy your holiday today. I'm assuming you're not at work, but I can't be certain with your employer.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Now all I can think about are Sabretts Hotdogs off a New York cart. THANKS.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I so wish for you to have a wonderful 2009. May your hotdog buns runneth over! :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh, and thanks for that extra linky luv!

    Luv Ya Sweetie!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I want a hot dog now....real bad. My husband would love for me to say that out loud, but you know what? I'm not gonna. Um, I loved this post. This is my favorite New Year's post that I've read. The picture of the deer? Priceless. And seriously, I am craving a Costco hot dog now.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hot dogs are the dish of choice at our house for New Year's.

    Hilarious! I can't stop reading!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I hope you will at least be eating Hebrew Nationals or something with fewer nitrates. I will be worrying for your health throughout the entire upcoming year!

    Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  21. nicely done. i'm gonna go leave you a new years present on my blog :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Happy New Year to you! I don't expect much from 2009 either, but I will make the most of it that I can. :-) You never know what disaster waits around the corner.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Bee, I don't know what you've got to complain about with that deer picture..

    Not everyone get's a piece of Bambi's ass, and you were one of the lucky ones!

    Get Rock Band 2, and you can have the "No Fail" option, so even you won't keep your kids from being all they can be!

    Happy New Year!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. It's funny how your blog keeps gradually looking better, like it's getting little webby botox injections.

    BTW when a baby vomits, it will vomit into the closest decolletage every time. Just how it works.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Year of the Hot Dog? Awesome! And don't let those deer give you any crap there bee. They like to make asses of themselves you know.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Happy New Year! Ummm, a cleavage full of puke? That rings a bell somewhere ...

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh Bee!
    You have me wishing that I had written my latest post earlier than just now!
    See, I am all about NOT making resolutions so I did a post of my new "Un-Resolutions". This way, I won't be disappointed when I don't lose those extra 20 pounds, get myself organized, become a better person, or be less pessimistic.

    And now I want a hot dog!
    Oh, and just so you know, you can totally count on me if you and Andy run out of hotdogs. I will send you a truck load of hot dogs and as God is my witness, you will never go hotdog-less again!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. The first rule of deer photography is to not shoot where the deer is, but where the deer is going to be.

    ReplyDelete
  29. the deer mooned you, I hope this happend in 08, if it happened in 09 I hope it's not a sign of things to come.

    ReplyDelete
  30. May you never run out of mustard for your hotdogs and may I someday have as many readers as you do.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I say you got a winner in hot-dog my friend. May the force of hot-dog be with you.

    ReplyDelete
  32. The Guitar Hero audience is too picky Bee, ignore them.
    No hot-dogs for them!

    ReplyDelete
  33. I think this is my fav post of this year.
    :}

    ReplyDelete
  34. P.S. I have you on blog roll!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Plain living and high thinking.


    --------------
    Université de Paris

    ReplyDelete
  36. Nothing for nothing.

    -----------------------------------

    ReplyDelete

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.