Monday, January 5, 2009

Ramblings Pros and Cons on voting for Diesel from Mattress Police who is currently in the running for Humor Blog of the year.

***Hmmm I think I have a point in there somewhere, can you guys tell me what it is?

So... it has come to my attention that Diesel from Mattress Police is in the running for Humor Blog of the year. While I would really like to vote for him, and I do want him to win, this poses a huge moral dilemma for me.

You see, he, Diesel from Mattress Police who is currently in the running for Humor Blog of the year, and I are mad at each other at the moment. He's a little wee bit annoyed at me for screwing with his voting system and I'm a lot annoyed with him for banning my laptop from voting at Humor-Blogs.

I mean sure, I opened multiple accounts for my friends and family* so that I may take the responsibility and hassle of them voting for me on a daily basis off their hands and carried the burden on my own weary shoulders but that's only because I am a selfless humanitarian. Why he, Diesel from Mattress Police who is currently in the running for Humor Blog of the year, would get so mad and reset my blog to zero is beyond me.

To be honest with you, I lost a little respect for Diesel, from Mattress Police who is currently in the running for Humor Blog of the year, because it took him so long to find out.

It's not like we're living in Xanadu or Holland where people are always all lovey dovey and blond. I seem to remember a scheme to boost our standing on Blogcatalouge (misspelled on purpose) but the ADD most of us suffer had that plan going to pot. I really shouldn't say most of us since I do have the ability to focus on a goal and make it mine. That's how I landed my Andy. I sabotaged and annihilated my competition for his affection.

While I feel horrible for all the work Diesel had to go through to try and stop people like me, I am not one to repent. When I play any games with my family, I always warn them up front. If there is any chance I can cheat/bend the rules I will do it. Nothing personal but that's just how I roll. Of course, this means nobody ever wants to play any type of games with me since I even cheat at Pictionary for shitsake. Whatever man, I can always play with myself.

As I was having my internal debate, I went to LOBO's site and noticed he is demanding I vote or die. I normally listen and do everything LOBO tell us to do but here I'm at a crossroads. I really do like to live but Diesel doesn't even swear. I'm not sure if I want my votes (because you know there would be more than one) to go to a guy that fakes the word FUCK by doing this "f*ck". What the hell is that? PG is what that is! P-fuckin-G!!

Then, I remembered Diesel's posts from 2008 that had made me laugh. There was his Something Fishy This Way Comes, Terminator vs Highlander post, Ask Diesel About Language Stuff post, This is not a compendia of erratum post, where he tells people how dumb they are...

Not to mention the fact that, hello!, the name of his directory IS Humor-Blogs so it would stand to reason his blog would win Humor Blog of the year. Plus he is very funny. And he has been coming over and leaving me comments and he does sound like Hugh Laurie in my head…

Okay Diesel, I forgive you! I am casting my votes for you.


Now, some of you will be pissed at me and say "What the hell Bee?? I thought he was your mortal enemy!" and such. No, no. I have no mortal enemies.

I just have two columns when dealing with people. People I tolerate and people I don't. Except for my BIL's ex-girlfriend, Mulee. She is in the "If I ever see her and she says anything to me I will vaporize her with my evil stare" category only reserved bugs.

Others will ask if I'm kissing ass and while that's okay for you to think that while your kissing mine, I'd have to disagree with you though because this here is my blog.

But most of you will sit there on your comfy chairs and ask "So?"

And also? I really don't have morals but I'm sure you already knew that.

*I think y'all have to re-sign up for Humor-Blogs so you can vote for me if you want. No pressure.


If you didn't already, check out Andy's awesome drawings in our first ever Sunday Comic Strip.


Brian, you don't have to vote if you don't want to. (reverse psychology at its finest!)


  1. FIRST!!!!!!!

    This humour, sorry humor, is so serious ;-)

  2. Can't we just vote for you as a write in candidate?

  3. Brian:
    It is serious business. very very serious.

    Just Sayin':
    Hey what you do with your time to make me sky rocket to the top is completely encouraged by moi. ;o)

  4. Dear Bee,
    It seems a little funny to me that Diesal blocked you and reset you to zero and now he's in the running to win? Coincidence? I think not.
    I smell something funny going on here.
    And If I can't vote for you, I am not voting!

  5. Also, I'm pretty sure that this Lobo person is not the one who came up with the "Vote or Die" thing.
    If I remember correctly, it was P Diddy/Puff Daddy/Piddle/Sean Puffy Combs or whatever the hell his name is now.

  6. Tracy:
    He and I are all good. I really want him to win since it does mean more exposure to the rest of the blogs on there.

    The vote is for Humor Blog but not on his site. It's a collection of all blogs out there in the webternets.

  7. P.S.
    I need you to come over to my place and have my back. After my last post about the, um, you know...Animal people, I have a granola attacking me and Jean Knee is making her even more mad!
    Come over and HELP!
    I need one or twelve of your witty, kick ass comments ASAP!!!!

  8. Bee!
    Stop making me land on odd numbers!!!

  9. Ugh, politics. Scheming, conniving, calculating politics. But then again, that's the best way to get something done. I commend you on your cheating, and will closely consider a vote for Diesel.

  10. Having tried at one of these silly voting campaigns all I can say is it is a popularity contest, pure and simple. Diesel is very funny but so are a lot of other bloggers. Unfortunately it won't run it's course based on material it'll be like the presidential campaign and run it's course based on popularity and seeking out a vote. But I don't know any other way around that. That's why I like the humor bloggers festivals idea. No voting, just showcasing. And why aren't you in the running Bee?

  11. Aoi:
    Thanks! I'm pretty proud of myself but you know, consequences and all that. ;o)

    I have no idea how they became the finalists. Yeah, voting is always about popularity and if the voting was here in Chi-town, I'd totally win even if I wasn't on the ballot because we have our own rules here. ;op

  12. In case you didn't figure this out, I'm totally not mad at Bee. And I'm pretty sure she's not really mad at me either. Maybe.

    As for "something funny going on"... People, FOCUS. I run a site called Humor Blogs. It is in no way affiliated with the Weblog Awards, which are a much bigger deal. I have no idea how I ended up being a finalist, but I'm thrilled because it means a lot more exposure for me and my posse (I don't think Bee would object to being in my posse).

    Yes, it's a popularity contest. But popularity kinda matters when you're trying to get a novel published and stuff.

    Also, I do kind of sound like Hugh Laurie, but only when he's doing an American accident.

    Thanks for the shout-out, Bee!

  13. Even if you're not really mad at each other, there's something to be said for keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. I don't really know what's to be said, though. No one ever elaborates much beyond that point. Probably because of the mayhem that typically ensues.

  14. Diesel:
    Of course I'm not mad you. However, you shouldn't tell people to focus when you want them to do something for you so I'll edit your comment a lil' bit.

    "Guys, please vote for me Bee already did twice and will keep voting again and again until the polls close. A vote for me is a vote for Bee!. Thank you."

    Yup I don't what's to be said either. Coffee? ;o)

  15. "A vote for me is a vote for Bee.."?

    You know, Dr. Seuss really should take his books away from you there..

    If it's not cheating, then why play?

    I mean, the object of cheating is to see if you can get away with it, really..

    So if I can cheat, and vote for whomever.. Does it have to be Diesel?

    If the answer's "yes", then I'll vote Diesel.

    If it's "no", then I'll vote Diesel.

    That work?

  16. LOL...gotta love a shameless cheater.

  17. Jorm:
    As long as you vote the right way, we'll all be happy!

    Funny you should say that because that is exactly what Diesel said to me. That I was shameless. The way I see it, once you're caught, why deny it? ;o)

  18. He's up against The Bloggess, who is actually funny, and Boobs etc always wins these awards.

    After ruining his own web site, why would people vote for him since he never voted for anyone but his buddies? And you have to be funny, not longwinded.

  19. He's up against The Bloggess, who is actually funny, and Boobs etc always wins these awards.

    After ruining his own web site, why would people vote for him since he never voted for anyone but his buddies? And you have to be funny, not longwinded.

  20. Suzy:
    Yup The Bloggess is all kinds of funny but we sure can give it the "old college try"!

    Except I didn't go to college so maybe the "old high school almost didn't graduate try".

  21. I don't think I could in good conscience vote for anyone that puts asterisks in their swear words. Shit or get off the pot!

  22. I spent all day looking at all the blogs in all the categories...and I had already placed a vote for diesel....see i know good blog when I see it ;-)

  23. and I had your blessing before I knew it!

  24. Wow! I hope you and Diesel can bury the proverbial hatchet!
    BTW, you say that you have to play with yourself since no one will play with you. INSERT MASTERBATION JOKE HERE. I'm too lazy to think of it.

  25. Bee! You are a good soul. This will be karmic! A statue will be made of your chin-boobs.

  26. You guys are hilarious. I will certainly vote for Diesel because I'm a big Hugh Laurie fan!

    Seriously, he works hard at what he does and it shows!

  27. That's brilliant! I love a good soap opera-ish drama regardless if it's real or imagined! :)

  28. So, erm, what's Diesel in the running for again?

  29. Thanks for the votes, everybody. Looks like I'm going to end up in 9th place (rather than dead last!), thanks to all your hard work.

    Hey Suzy, why help out a fellow blogger when you can stab them in the back, eh?

  30. This is exactly why I love you. Shameless and Honest and Hilarious -- you can't beat that combo!

  31. To bad Diesel removed all your extra accounts, they could have come in handy for him also.

  32. I was just there last night and I didn't see his name.
    I feel lame now. I was all "I only know two people here" when in reality I knew 3!


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