Friday, July 13, 2007

The Price of Pickles!

Today is Friday the 13th and opposite of opposites I’m having a GREAT DAY!
Yes, I know its shocking cuz the 3 of you that tune in are used to me bitching and moaning but today started with a laugh and I just hope it continues that way.
I had my meeting with Oz and he was in a jovial mood (I’m thinking it’s cuz he’s already picturing himself on his Yacht catching all those poor little fishies). He said he had so much fishing gear in his truck that people would think he was an industrial fisherman. He then asked me if I wanted to go look at his fishing rod…

Now now people! Stop being so gutter-minded! Glynda was there too, so it wasn’t supposed to be inappropriate but it just sounded so damn bad that the imp in me couldn’t resist a dead pan stare, I looked him straight in the eye and said ‘Umm yeah, umm no thank you…?’
He just busted out laughing and said to Glynda ‘I don’t think she appreciates the fine art of fishing!’

It’s always amazing to me how people with money (and I'm talking about tons of cash here) are so far removed from us everyday common folk. Why would I want to look at a piece of fishing equipment that probably cost more than my car? Jeez, could the difference in our social standing be more evident than that?

It cracks me up when he’s telling a story about Hawaii or Europe and then asks me ‘Have you been?’ Yeah every other weekend I take my Lear Jet to my private chalet in Europe where I go have tea with Queen Horseface and I surf the waves of Hawaii the other weekends.
I don’t mind the fact that I haven’t “been” but I don’t like the way he looks at me like he feels sad for me.
It’s ok. Husband Andy and I will go one day, we’re just waiting to be a little more financially stable.
Maybe I should ask him ‘Dude, have you been to Taco Burrito King on Belmont and Long?’ And then look at him with pity when he hasn’t.

Man, now I want Taco Burrito King!! Andy, if you’re reading this please please can we have TBK? I know it gives me the runs and then I can’t eat anything for 2 days but the heart burn and indigestion is worth it!

As for Milton… I just want to quote Tom Hanks in a League of Their Own (awesome movie by the way)
‘Are you crying…? Is she…? are you CRYING?! There’s no CRYING in baseball!’

She chose to ignore what happened and is acting like nothing.

Me, I don’t function that way because things fester and then they get eaten by worms so I’ve been giving her my patented “you-over-reacted-but-I-have-to-work-with-your-babyass-but-I-only-have-to-put-up-with-you-until-3-today-because-then-I-get-to-go-home-and-work-on-my-garden-and-just-dig-holes-in-my-yard-making-believe-it’s-your-head” look.

Let me know if you’d like a picture of this look and I’ll send it to you. I can’t post it because it’s sooo scary it might make people jump out of 3rd story windows. I'm not supposed to talk about that due to a pending lawsuit.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.