I hate them with everything in my mere mortal body!!!!!
This morning I went to the restroom that’s located in the hallway of our building and the flippin’ seat was pissed on all over! I’m not talking about like a little bit of sprinkles, I’m talking about freakin puddles man! How can women do that to other women? Do they do this at home? Do they have puddles of urine soaking thru their floors??? If you don’t want to sit your bare ass on the seat and you’re not sure if you can balance correctly over the large hole, line it with toilet paper! If you make a fuckin’ mess then clean it up!
I also have a suggestion for the public restroom industry. (I’m assuming there’s an industry) Please carry toilet seat liners! In this day and age how can you not?!?!?! We've traveled outside of earth for pete’s sake! (not sure about the moon landing, it’s looks fake to me) I also want to suggest some kind of deodorizing spray that is mounted to the wall and you can push a button to spray either after yourself or the person who was nice enough to stink up the place! That was my second trip to the bathroom today. I walked in and almost threw up! Again I know…bodily functions… nature… blah blah blah. I had been holding it for a while so I had no choice but to hold my breath but now I feel like the stink is on my clothes!!!
Yeah I’m gross for bringing this up but use this as a public service announcement. This will be our motto.
We will not pee on our fellow women’s shoes!(cuz you know it gets on your shoes right?) Gag Gag Gag!
Today was gonna be the big day! I was gonna march into Oz’ office and ask him for a $3 raise! I got up early so that I could style my hair and put make up on. I wore a business-y outfit I practiced by running different scenarios in my mind and was ready for anything!
I let Glynda know I would like an audience with him today and she said today would not be a good idea due to the fact that he had an audience with the Purple Dino-SOUR. She was going to stop by to discuss her time off! That frosted head is just gonna drive me to drink!
I’m gonna wait for her behind the door and pounce on her purple ass! I’m gonna grab her “Marie Barone hair do” and make her apologize for being such a pain in my ass! Then I’m gonna take her coupons and shred them up! Then I’ll grab her keys and park her Cadillac on the other side of the street where she won’t think to look cuz she’ll think her “oldtimers” is acting up.