Monday, July 16, 2007

Bee’s Private Bathroom Fund.

I hate public restrooms…!
I hate them with everything in my mere mortal body!!!!!
This morning I went to the restroom that’s located in the hallway of our building and the flippin’ seat was pissed on all over! I’m not talking about like a little bit of sprinkles, I’m talking about freakin puddles man! How can women do that to other women? Do they do this at home? Do they have puddles of urine soaking thru their floors??? If you don’t want to sit your bare ass on the seat and you’re not sure if you can balance correctly over the large hole, line it with toilet paper! If you make a fuckin’ mess then clean it up!
I also have a suggestion for the public restroom industry. (I’m assuming there’s an industry) Please carry toilet seat liners! In this day and age how can you not?!?!?! We've traveled outside of earth for pete’s sake! (not sure about the moon landing, it’s looks fake to me) I also want to suggest some kind of deodorizing spray that is mounted to the wall and you can push a button to spray either after yourself or the person who was nice enough to stink up the place! That was my second trip to the bathroom today. I walked in and almost threw up! Again I know…bodily functions… nature… blah blah blah. I had been holding it for a while so I had no choice but to hold my breath but now I feel like the stink is on my clothes!!!
Yeah I’m gross for bringing this up but use this as a public service announcement. This will be our motto.
We will not pee on our fellow women’s shoes!
(cuz you know it gets on your shoes right?) Gag Gag Gag!

Side Note:

Today was gonna be the big day! I was gonna march into Oz’ office and ask him for a $3 raise! I got up early so that I could style my hair and put make up on. I wore a business-y outfit I practiced by running different scenarios in my mind and was ready for anything!
I let Glynda know I would like an audience with him today and she said today would not be a good idea due to the fact that he had an audience with the Purple Dino-SOUR. She was going to stop by to discuss her time off! That frosted head is just gonna drive me to drink!

My fantasy:

I’m gonna wait for her behind the door and pounce on her purple ass! I’m gonna grab her “Marie Barone hair do” and make her apologize for being such a pain in my ass! Then I’m gonna take her coupons and shred them up! Then I’ll grab her keys and park her Cadillac on the other side of the street where she won’t think to look cuz she’ll think her “oldtimers” is acting up.


  1. Want a little cheese with that wine?

    Yea that is sick tho it just shows how much of a "me" attitude is out there. No one cares about anything unless it directly involves them.

    You shoulda went ahead & got the audience with said Wizard anyways, cause maybe Purple Dino-Sour was quittin & making you more important!!!

  2. I hear you!! I haven't been able to figure out why (or how) some women are so disgusting! Really, it goes back to those simple rules (if you turn it on/turn it off, open it/close it, etc.) if you pee on it wipe it off!!!

  3. yuck yuck yuck YUCK!!! Not nice, not nice at all. I get livid to see that a guy pisses all over the damn seat (hello is that GIANT hole not big enough? I bet if men had to wiz in the Grand Canyon, they would still miss) but a woman? We have to sit, how the hell can you make a gosh darn mess everywhere?!?!?

    You cracked me up...i needed it. Ask for your raise!!!

  4. I agree with you 100% about public bathrooms! Disgusting! I work in a big office with many females...that are all prim and proper. Who, then is peeing on everything?!?! I know it's an in-house job because we have locks on all the floors. Whenever I pass by the ladies room I eye all of the women nearby to look for the one with pee all over her. I've yet to find her.

  5. gypsy queen: let me know if you find her cuz it's probably the same one going around to all public restrooms! :o)


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.