Today is Thursday and as some of you may or may not know, Thursdays here mean someone has to bring in treats for the office.
It’s Purple Dino-SOUR's turn but yesterday she tried to weasel out of it and a meeting was called… (Holy jenkins man! Keep wasting my time on stupid shit why dontcha!) I was soooo caught off guard that my brain went into pause and I didn’t respond with my usual… charm.
I seriously think this pissed me off so much that I blacked the Hell out!
Nobody likes bringing treats in but we all DO it! Her excuse was that she starts at 9:30 now so…
Yeah, “so…” WHAT?! Anyway, Cowardly Lion said she’d bring in a “sweet” and PD could bring something else, you know, to make it easier for her (my eyes are rolling so far up that I can see the underwear of the people on the 4th floor). All I remember saying was ‘don’t bring anything warm cuz it gives me the runs…’ HUHN? Don’t ask me why I said that, I have no idea. I AM SO A LADY!
Anyway CL brought an apple crisp (WARM!) and PD brought Taco Dip (not warm) which is fine I love Taco Dip but there is one problem…
Instead of bringing tortilla chips for the Taco Dip…
She brought…
BUTTER CRACKERS!!!!!!!!
WTF (You know this merits the actual words) WHAT THE FUCK!!!
Can this woman do NOTHING RIGHT?!
BUTTER CRACKERS! (Hold on I have to remove a piece of butter cracker that fell into my cleavage…).
Here is a picture of someone who
could do a better job than PD:
My 4 year old niece at PD'S desk waiting
for Tia Yaya to pick her up.
I bet she would know to bring tortilla chips...
::sigh::
Back to work!
I'm sure I'm not the only one who's disappointed that you didn't go for the warm option - it would have given you plenty of opportunity to get more toilet gossip.
ReplyDeleteThough the toilets here are not a pretty sight (or scent) at the moment (Day 3 without running water in flood-ravaged Britain...)
brian: as weird as this my sound (it's ok, I'm used to people saying I'm weird) I was thinking about you when I was watching the news. I'd invite you to use our office facilities but... well... they might not be better here (as you know)!
ReplyDeleteI hope things get better soon. :o)
Bee,
ReplyDeleteI can't help but notice that your office is sadly lacking a Tin Woodman and it seems to have no flying monkeys. How did this state of affairs come about?
What a cutie! Once again, thank you. You never fail to make me giggle when I should be working.
ReplyDeleteBTW, butter crackers?!?! That combination sounds horrible! I'd run with option A and eat the warm food regardless of the consequences. Oh, and when you get a chance, tell PD Gyps said she's missing a couple screws.
duckman: I try not to make fun of the Flying Monkeys cuz they learned to read and WILL follow me home! (Flying Monkeys AKA: Patients). Regarding a Tin dude, well to be honest, I have someone in mind but he rarely bothers me so he provides no comedic value what-so-ever. (Tin Man AKA Assistant Surgeon)
ReplyDeletegypsy: Thanks for agreeing with me regarding the butter-frickin-crackers! When I brought it up at meeting they all looked at me like I was whining over nothing! Regarding PD’s screws, I blame it on her hair salon, too much bleach on her head must’ve rusted ‘em!
[snicker, giggle] butter-frickin-crackers!
That'll be my new swear word. LOL!
"Who toook my sanity? Butter-Frickin-Crackers A-Holes!"
[Laughing hysterically]
If you can't crack yourself up, who can you count on?
Bee - thanks for the thoughts, but even more for the laughs over the last few stressful days :-). I didn't get flooded, nor did I get caught in it, and now that they've secured our power supply and the army are getting drinking water to us I've got nothing to worry about.
ReplyDeleteThanks too for the offer, but as much as I dislike my mess, at least it's mine, and I know where it came from! I find other people's urine seriously repulsive (and to think that some people have fetishes about it - ugggghhhhh!).
Still, all this has led to unusual office conversation - When was the last time you heard MEN discussing toilets, hygiene, laundry, and washing their hair?
The eye roll to see the underwear of the people on the 4th floor..what a crack up! You ar hilarious. And WTF..butter crackers....is she human..what moron doesn't know to bring tortilla chips with taco dip!
ReplyDeleteI'll hate PD with you, if you want me to.
ReplyDeleteWhat a big dummy. Oh, a lazy dummy. How hard is it to stop at the store & pick up a box of already prepared...something?
Not hard at all. she's just lazy.
brian: Thanks for the compliment! :o)
ReplyDeletemrs.jo & lainey:
I've discussed this with my sister and I've decided I'm gonna have tours of this office so people can meet the peeps in person and have a better picture in their head of their real life ridiculousness. The fee will be to insult at least one person here just for kicks and giggles.
Sign me up for the tour!! And butter-frickin-crackers! What's next? Jam for the tortilla chips? What a tap-dancing baffoon!
ReplyDeletesomegirl: LOL! "tap-dancing baffoon"! When I see her now that's I'll I'm gonna be thinking about! :o)
ReplyDelete