Monday, August 31, 2009

My trash your treasure + OZ steps out of line and I smack him back!

So, the yard sale went great!

cell 8.31.09 004 We had wonderful weather... okay, maybe it was a little chilly but it was still enjoyable. We sat in my front yard under the canopy of trees and watched as cheapo people left without buying any of my CRAP treasures.

Milton had a great time. I think she also liked the fact that she was able to bond with the family members I'm constantly talking about (my sister, her girls, my brother Rick, my mom, Maria THE VEGETERIAN and her little daughter Sofia).

She did do a bunch of Milton things like reorganizing the shoes we were selling not once, twice, three times but like 500 times. She claimed somebody must have removed a $2 sticker on one of her items and placed a 50 cent sticker instead.

She also had kittens each time someone asked me what I was selling something for and I would talk myself down. "well, I want $3 but give me $2 and it's yours!"

She stuck to her prices and refused to negotiate which is probably why she's got more Benjamins than I do. The funny thing is that she owned up to her OCD and I have to say I enjoyed her company immensely.magazine pile

There was one item I regretted putting out as soon as a lady picked it up. It was a gorgeous magazine rack that was almost new but I had put it away because I was abusing its magical powers and stacking too many magazines at one time.    

When she asked me the price, I said $3 and had it in my head that if she thought it was too much, she could go eff herself. She gave me the $3 (in quarters!!!) and drove off with my irreplaceable, priceless magazine rack. I MISS YOU MAGAZINE RACK!!

The downfall of this weekend is that, thanks to Milton, I am now on a first name basis with a lot of my neighbors and their dogs. I now more about their problems than I care too! I swear to Nihm that if any of them so much as smile at me because they *know* me, I will fling poo at them! I liked not knowing anybody but Boomhauer and Wilson. My sanctuary has been trespassed and contaminated!  The dogs were cute though.

I didn't make a lot of money (nope, can't retire yet) but the important thing is that my JUNK treasures are now gathering dust in someone else's house. (MAGAZINE RACK, COME BACK TO ME!!)

Coming back to work today, I had a conference call scheduled where OZ was going to have to man up and scare this guy I had been having a verbal sparring match with for the past couple of weeks. Instead he wimped out and postponed the call for Friday because he didn't have enough "" facts "". It pissed me off but then I remembered it wasn't my company and so I had my rice pudding.

When I went to lunch, OZ stepped into the kitchen and started asking me questions about that same account.

I don't know about you but I don't get paid while I'm at lunch. I also don't like distractions when I'm trying to enjoy my ham samich so I said.

Bee: I didn't bring the chart to lunch with me because I eat lunch at lunch.

OZ: Oh, but I'm sure you have some memory of the account details.

Bee: No, not while I'm at lunch because all I'm thinking about when I'm at lunch is my lunch.

OZ: Well, can you just answer me this one question?

Bee: Suuuuuure! When I get back from lunch.

Staring contest ensues.

OZ [leans against the kitchen sink]: ...

Bee [pats her ham sandwich]: ...

OZ [crosses his arms]: ...

Bee [takes a bite of her sandwich]: ...

OZ: ... I guess I'll buzz you when you get back from lunch.

Bee: I'm staying an extra 5 minutes which is about how long this conversation took. [I wink]

OZ: Okay. Just let me know when you get back.

Bee: You betcha!


That's what I'm talking about!!! MOFO interrupting me and my smoked ham sandwich!


  1. Lunch is the most important meal of the day and should be treated with due respect and reverence.

    I've never seen the point of magazine racks - they just encourage you to keep old magazines that you're never going to read again...

  2. Had Soon-to-be-ex Spousal Unit held a few garage sales, our marriage might have been saved.

  3. Wow! You MADE money from your yard sale? I'm impressed.

    We don't even bother trying to have them. Our neighborhood is secluded and we like to keep it that way.

    My mother-in-law lives on a busy street. Her place is perfect except she just doesn't want to deal with it anymore. Oh well.

    Bee vs. Oz - You are so bold, Girl!

  4. My wife is very territorial about her lunch too when I try to talk to her at work during it. She and you should get together sometime for lunch. I bet it would be a great conversation.

  5. You can't put a price on the feeling of liberation from piled up "treasures", so don't worry about the actual dough, just enjoy the feeling!

    Wish my mom had had a yard sale. Guess where some of her stuff is now? Yep, sitting in my hallway. :-(

  6. I love love love getting rid of junk.

    although I accumulate more almost immediately.

  7. Our last yard sale took two days out of our lives, we made about 8 bucks.

  8. of course the dogs were cute.

    and i hate being bothered when im eating too. theres always some fly that wants to start a conversation as soon as i begin enjoying a tasty pork chop bone

  9. Look on the bright side Bee..

    at least he agreed to let you take that extra 5 minutes..

    I mean, he could've been an ass like my boss yesterday, and kept coming in to see if I was done yet, even AFTER telling me to give him a call when I was done!

    Some folks just seem about as on-edge as kids before Christmas morning.. I swear.

  10. You just got an award over at Magick Sandwich. I hope you'll like it. Please stop by to pick it up.

  11. I feel like my bosses don't always understand my desire for lunch, days off, and weekends. If I owned the company and pocketed all the profits then maybe I would feel like they do.

  12. I would have bought that magazine rack in a heartbeat!


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.