I must have been one of those witches that lived in the mountains, who only came down to the village to have their dinner which consisted of new born babies, in a previous life. Or maybe it's because of my recent guffawing at a patient's diagnosis which read "open wound, buttocks"? How else would you explain Karma's enthusiasm in riding my ass?
My punishment happened just a few minutes ago. I was chewing my gum, rather energetically as I do when I'm on edge, when I accidentally bit down hard on the inside of my bottom lip!
You know what taste good mingled with gum? Your blood and a piece of your flesh mmmmm!
Does that make me a cannibal or a vampire?
Karma? I promise not to dine on newborns and/or make fun of people's butt problems. Are we square?
you mean bitch
FIRST. I beat Brian! :)
ReplyDeleteI'd laugh, but that has happened to me...well, not the part a bout guffawing at a patient's diagnosis which read "open wound buttocks," but biting the tongue.
Okay, I've bitten my tongue and had a wound on my buttock, but not simultaneously.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I just admitted that. It's Bryan's fault.
And yes, I love the coppery taste of blood.
Geez, I'm not going to get into anyone's top tier with comments like that, am I?
ReplyDeleteDo vampires enjoy sipping at the fountain of their own blood? I'm not sure, so for that, I'm going to declare you straight up cannibal. But look at it this way - maybe the gum chewing will help you cut down on the taste for limb gnawing. It helps smokers, after all.
ReplyDeleteYou should bring out your own brand: "Bee's Blood Gum", though if you're going to industrialise manufacture you'll need to find a source of blood.
ReplyDeletePlease to be telling us more about that buttock wound...ok, only if it is scandalous or something equally embarrassing to said person. Karma may get me but I do enjoy humor at the expense of others when it is particularly humiliating.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about Karma. Do you want me to kick her ass? Oh wait. I'd better be careful or someone may kick mine...and leave an open wound for you to laugh at and the circle begins again.
ReplyDeleteOuch! I always wonder how things like that happen? You'd think we know where the placement of all our oral components would be, since they've been there pretty much since infancy.
ReplyDeleteI've done that so many times, so again, I say Ouch!
OUCH!!!!
ReplyDeleteDang. Y'all are a-skeering me...
ReplyDeleteMy kids have been eating "bloody eyeballs" all day. And oddly enough, it turn into gum.
ReplyDeleteSo I guess my kids are gum chewing cannibalistic vampires. It's explains a lot ;)
I just realized I forgot to clarify at the end of my comment that they don't really eat Bloody Eyeballs. That's just the gums name and all I had available to calm them on the way home. Disgusting, huh? But whatever works!
ReplyDeleteI also want to hear more about the open wound,buttox
ReplyDeleteshe is a witch, she turned me into a newt
ReplyDeleteI hope you (Nooter ) were calling Karma a bitch even though I was the one who sent you the neuter rubber bands
ReplyDeleteYou know, when they suggest chewing gum...they don't mean literally your gums...
ReplyDelete